Every Problem May be a Punny One (#21)

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Dalai Lama XIV

“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”
Dalai Lama XIV
Anthony Robbins

“Every problem is a gift – without problems we would not grow.”
Anthony Robbins

 

Bertrand Russell

“The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.”
Bertrand Russell
Robert Frost

“The best way out is always through.”
Robert Frost

Punny Problems #21

Punny Problems #21

Not being able to iron out all of his problems made the dry cleaner very depressed.
After his computer problems he decided on a Crash course in security.

1) To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

2) If your only tool is a hammer then every problem looks like a nail.

3) Give a young boy a hammer, and he will treat everything as a nail.

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Every Problem May be a Punny One (#21)

Home-spun Puns #20

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Home-spun Puns

 

 

Jack sold a cow for some beans, came home to his mother, and spilled the beans.

 

 

 

 

 

A homeless person joining in a riot can basically be heard as a vague rant.

 

Greengrocers earn a meager celery, come home beet and just want to read the pepper, take a leek, turnip the covers endive into bed.

 

Since I went to work in the plumbing department of the home center, I have developed a multi-fauceted personality disorder.

 

The chickens were distraught when the tornado destroyed their home. Hopefully they will be able to recoup.

 

 

 

The home for rich squirrels is The Nutcracker Suite.

 

 

 

 

Unfortunately, no one won the lemon eating contest. They all went home with a sour-taste in their mouth.

 

A gardener who moved back to his home town rediscovered his roots.

 

 

An ancient Greek shoemaker ran home when there was an earthquake only to discover he had fallen arches.

 

 

 

 

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Home-spun Puns

Familial Puns #19

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#19
#19

 

 

When a new baby comes into a family, many changes are necessary.

Poor blood circulation runs through the family.

 

When I had my PlayStation stolen, my family were there to console me.

 

The family elders have relative importance.

 

family joker is jest having fun with his “elations”.

 

 

 

 

A family went to watch a 007 movie at the theatre, it was a bonding experience.

 

 

 

 

 

“You can choose your friends, but you cannot choose your family.

Familial Puns #19

Puns DRIVING Humor #18

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#12 Punny Money

#18 Auto Puns

 

Why did the car cross the river with the boat? It was a ford escort.

Driving on so many turnpikes was taking its toll.

The state police highway officer worked tirelessly in the heavy rain to assist a lady whose car was stuck in a ditch. He was a real trooper.

When driving lawyers have to watch out for the sharp attorneys.

He kept an alarm clock in the back window of his car. He was always ahead of his time.

When driving Mickey Mouse sings cartunes.

My boyfriend and I started to date after he backed his car into mine. We met by accident.

My dog failed his driving test, he can’t parallel bark.

A hermit drove to town and was charged with recluse driving.

Puns DRIVE Humor #18

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Sunny Puns #17

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Occasionally in the Caribbean there’s a total calypso the sun.

I noticed that the sun was out, and nobody had bothered to relight it.

The star asked the sun why the moon was always up so late. Sun responded that it was just a phase.

Scientists studying the sun have a flare for research.

You should put on more sun tan lotion in order to save face.

Sunny Puns #17

Hopeful Puns # 16

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Hopeful Puns # 16

We can only have spring break in March, because the last time it happened in February, it took until August to get it fixed.

The winter was difficult on the trees, but in the spring they were re-leafed.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall – and a pretty good spring and summer, too.

Is there a best month of spring? There May be.

Gardeners like to spring into action.

 

Hopeful Puns # 16

Post-Olympic Sporty Puns #15

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A skier who makes it to the olympics finds that it is all down hill from there

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High jumpers should do well at the olympics because it’s always on a leap year.

The athlete colored her hair and started a winning streak.

 

A young professional athlete has to eat lots of pro-teen.

Of all sports humor, football is my favorite. I get a kick out of the punts.

 

.

Those who play team sports usually have a ball.

Post-Olympic Sporty Puns #15

Egotist Puns (#14) and Quotes

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Though humble in secular matters, the minister had an altar ego.

An egotist is someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

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C.S. Lewis

“If a man thinks he is not conceited, he is very conceited indeed.” 
― C.S. Lewis
Robert Burns

“Critics! Appalled I ventured on the name.
Those cutthroat bandits in the paths of fame.”
― Robert Burns
Douglas Adams

“If there’s anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.”
― Douglas AdamsThe Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Ambrose Bierce

Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.”

Egotist Puns (#14) and Quotes

Erase Your Mistakes

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Erase Your Mistakes

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Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?

 

The editor received his award with sheer delete.

 

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.” 
L.M. Montgomery

“Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?”

He made so many mistakes that he had an err about him.

Erase Your Mistakes