Bungle in the Jungle – WIF Nature

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Strange Things

Found

in the Jungle

Jungle View, Simon Scales – Concept Art – Matte Painting

The jungles are, and always have been mysterious. People can and have gone in them, never to be seen again. And even if they make up just 7 percent of the Earth’s land surface, with that number going down year after year, they are home to half of all living creatures on the planet. And what’s more, we don’t even know many of them. Nevertheless, the jungle can hide a great deal of mysterious things. Here are 10 of them.

 10. A Long Lost Mayan City Found by Looking at the Stars
It’s a fairly well-known fact that the Maya were good astronomers. The Mayan calendar may ring some bells, though it is often confused with the Aztec Calendar. And it never does get as much credit as it should. Nevertheless, a 15-year-old boy by the name of William Gadoury, from Quebec, Canada, has put the Mayan stargazing ability to the test. He theorized that the ancient pre-Colombian civilization used to build their cities in accordance with the overhead constellations.By making use of images from the Canadian Space Agency, Google Earth, as well as other known Maya settlements, he was able to pinpoint and discover marks which indicate a possible hidden city deep in the Yucatan jungles of Mexico.

Though nobody actually went there to analyze the site first hand, mostly because of the dense vegetation, the images provided by the satellite point to a possible pyramid complex hidden beneath the overgrown canopy. The satellite discovered linear elements that resemble a street network, as well as a rectangular shape that may actually be a pyramid. These images could, of course, show nothing more than natural features interpreted as man-made, but this is highly unlikely. Straight lines and rectangular shapes are rarely found in nature on their own, and are almost always a sign of human activity. If proven to be true and there actually is an undiscovered Maya settlement there, then this technique could prove useful in finding other lost cities just by looking at the stars.

9. The Largest Flower in the World

Growing some 3.3 feet across and weighing in at around 24 pounds, the Rafflesia Arnoldii is the largest flower in the world. There are 17 known species and they all live deep in the rainforests of Indonesia, Malaysia, Borneo, Sumatra, Thailand, and the Philippines. But this isn’t your ordinary flower to give your girlfriend on Valentine’s Day. Not because she doesn’t have a big enough vase to put it in or anything, but because this flower is notorious for its smell of rotten flesh when in full bloom. Also known as the “corpse flower”, it makes use of this particular “perfume” in order to draw in its main pollinator: the carrion fly. It sports five immense, red colored, leathery petals and a deep well in the middle. The flies go inside hoping to find some rotting flesh, but instead are covered with the flower’s pollen.

The corpse flower is also a parasite. It doesn’t have any leaves, stem, or roots and instead makes use of some threadlike growths that go inside its host: theTetrastigma Vine. Prior to its bulb sprouting, there are no visible signs of the flower’s existence. It can take up to ten months for the flower to go from bulb to full bloom. And when it does, it stays like that for only a few days; a week at best.Nobody really knows when that happens and it is extremely hard to make one do so in captivity. Singapore’s Botanic Garden hasn’t yet been successful in growing its own. So, if you really want to see one live, your best bet is to go deep within the Southeast Asian jungles to find one.

8. The Boiling River of Amazonian Legend

When he was only a boy, Andrés Ruzo, a geophysicist, was told a legend by his grandfather. This legend was about the conquistadors and how they went in search of El Dorado, the city of gold, deep in the Amazonian jungles. And from the fortunate few that were able to return came all sorts of stories. These stories were about man-eating snakes, jungle people with poison darts, trees bigger than they’d ever seen, and a boiling river capable of instantly killing anyone who would fall in its waters. This story remained with Ruzo into his adulthood. And for his PhD, he decided to make Peru’s first detailed geothermal map. Now, boiling streams do exist. They are located near volcanoes or other geothermal hotspots. But the thing is that the Amazonian basin is nowhere near such places, and the existence of a boiling river would be next to impossible. But as fate would have it, his aunt, of all people, was familiar with the boiling river. Not only had she been there before, but she was friends with the river shaman’s wife.

She then took him there, some 440 miles away from any volcanoes, and deep within the Peruvian jungle. The river itself is about 82 feet wide and 20 feet deep in some places, and for a distance of about 4 miles its waters are close to boiling point. This site is known as Mayantuyacu, and is considered sacred by the natives. What’s even more interesting is the fact that they use its waters for everything from cooking, brewing tea, or washing. But since this place is nowhere near a volcano, there isn’t a simple answer as to where the heat comes from. The best explanation so far, which probably is the case, is that this water comes from far away, as far as the glaciers high up in the Andes Mountains. Then it goes through an immense network of fissures within the mountains themselves, then deep underground where it’s heated, only to come back out in this place, making this stretch of the river boil.

7. Sigiriya – The Eighth Wonder of the World

Located on the teardrop-shaped island of Sri Lanka, there is an abandoned fortress/palace that some say is the Eighth Wonder of the World. Sigiriya’s origin dates back to the 5th century AD during the reign of King Kashyapa, 477-495, and was built on a 600 foot tall, vertical granite slab towering over the surrounding jungle. King Kashyapa came to power after successfully overthrowing his father and usurping his brother’s rule on the throne of Sri Lanka. He later killed his father by walling him up while still alive. Fearing for his life, his brother, Moggallana, fled to Southern India, where he would raise an army, determined to take back the throne from King Kashyapa. Knowing this, Kashyapa then moved the capital from Anuradhapura, to the strategically located Sigiriya. The site was chosen due to its defensive capabilities. The granite slab itself was a “plug” that once covered the mouth of a volcano. But over time, the volcano subsided and eroded, leaving only the huge stone in place.

Now only a ruin , Sigiriya was once a crowning technological achievement and quite possibly the most important urban planning site of the first millennium in the world. The complex was comprised of the royal palace located at the very top, a mid-level terrace that includes an exquisite gate shaped in the form of a huge lion, and the lower part, which was made up of other smaller palaces, elaborate gardens, and the city itself. The western wall of the granite stone was a covered in huge murals, 460 feet long and 130 feet high; probably the biggest in the world. The frescoes depicted over 500 partially undressed ladies, maybe the king’s mistresses, or probably priestesses during various religious ceremonies. The spiral stairs that went up to the palace were built next to the Mirror Wall. This was once covered in plaster and polished to the point where the king could see his reflection when going up to the palace.

Things, however, didn’t last. The king’s brother did eventually return with an army and defeated Kashyapa in battle. Taking back the throne of Sri Lanka, he moved the capital back to Anuradhapura and transformed Sigiriya into a Buddhist monastery that lasted up until the 14th century. The site was then abandoned for 500 years, only to be rediscovered by accident when some British troops went past it in 1831. The first small scale archeological work began in the 1890s, and only in 1983 did the Sri Lankan government get involved. Since then Sigiriya has become a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

6. Cuvette Centrale – Congo’s Hidden Carbon “Bomb”

For the past three years, scientists have been meticulously mapping the Congo Basin and what its soil has buried just below the surface. As it turns out, there is one of the largest carbon sinks in the world, covering an area larger than England, some 56,000 square miles in total. This swampland, even though it makes up just 4 percent of the whole Congo Basin, holds as much carbon below ground as the amount stored above ground (in the form of trees and vegetation) for the rest of the basin put together. That’s roughly 30 billion tons of carbon, or about 20 years’ worth of fossil fuel emissions in the US. When the investigations started, scientists had no idea of what they’d come across, and this peatland turned out to be 16 times larger than previously anticipated. Peat is decomposing organic matter turned partially into soil. It is most commonly found in cooler regions like Siberia, Northern Europe, or Canada, but they’re also found in tropic regions like this one.

When plant matter dies it falls into these marshlands and gets partially decomposed. But because of the water above, this decomposition stops midway. Left alone, peatlands make great carbon sinks, sucking up carbon from the air via plants and then storing it underground when these plants die. This particular marshland started forming roughly 11,000 years ago with the end of the last ice age, when Africa became more humid in its tropical regions as a result. However, if for whatever reason the water is drained or it evaporates, then the peat starts decomposing again, releasing all the carbon into the air with devastating effects. Now, because it was only recently discovered and is basically unprotected, this peatland is vulnerable to deforestation and drainage in order to make room for agriculture, particularly for palm oil. The same thing happened in Indonesia, where over 36,000 square miles of peatland were exposed in recent decades, in order to make room for palm tree plantations.

5. The Stone Spheres of Costa Rica

Ever since the late 1930s, people have been discovering strange stone spheres scattered all across southern Costa Rica. In order to make room for banana plantations, farmers began clearing the jungle only to come across these round balls ranging in size from only a few inches to over 6.6 feet in diameter, and weighing in as much as 15 tons. Not knowing what to make of them, the farmers either pushed them aside with bulldozers or blew them up with dynamite. Word got around that there was gold inside, so people began destroying them, but, surprise surprise, there was no gold.

Nevertheless, they did get proper archaeological investigation soon after their discovery. Some of the stone spheres, which were left in their original place, were found alongside pottery shards dating from around 300 to 1550 AD. But most of them are believed to have been made around the year 1000 AD, more than 500 years before the Spanish Conquest. There isn’t much information about their creators, however, with the culture disappearing soon after the European arrivals. Nevertheless, archaeological evidence points to the fact that these people lived in scattered settlements no larger than 2,000 people at a time. They also made use of agriculture and lived in circular houses. Go figure!

To create these spherical stones, this ancient civilization probably used a combination of techniques such as controlled fracture, pecking, and sand grinding. Contrary to what you might hear about them from various sources, they are nowhere near to being perfect spheres. But given the technology at the time, they are impressive nonetheless. Their purpose, on the other hand, is a complete mystery. Since they were removed from their original positions, we can only imagine their intended purpose. While some of the stones were still on site during the 1940s and ’50s, archaeologists documented them as being arranged in straight or curved lines. One such arrangement was said to be in direct alignment with the magnetic north. Others were said to be on top of low mounds, leading scientists to speculate that some of them, at least, were kept indoors. But because many of these stones have been relocated, it makes it impossible to verify. Today, most ofthe stone spheres adorn public places and even private gardens. Many of them have since found their way to other countries as well, particularly in the US.

4. Zombie Fungus

The Cordyceps are a genus of fungi with a worldwide distribution. But most of the almost 400 species are found in the humid and tropical regions of Asia, in countries like China, Nepal, Japan, Bhutan, Korea, Vietnam and Thailand. What they do, is that they infect an insect, usually an ant (but it depends of the species of Cordycep), and then they take control over the poor animal. Since 85% of all insects in the world live in rainforests, the fungus’ preference for ants kinda makes sense. For instance, it’s estimated that over 8 million ants cover a single hectare of tropical forest.

When these ants come in contact with the spores of these fungi, they immediately get infected. And as if out of a sci-fi movie, the fungi then takes control over the actions of the ant, making it climb the foliage as high as it can. There, the ant will fix itself to a leaf or a twig, and it will eventually die. Next, the fungus will sprout from the ant’s head, forming a long stem over the following three weeks. Then, the next generation of spores will burst from its tip and will fall to the ground, ready to be picked up by other ants, and the cycle repeats itself.

The higher the ant goes, the wider the distribution these spores have, and the more ants can pick them up. Now, if other ants come by an infected one, they immediately take it as far away from the colony as possible and dump it there, in order to prevent infection. What’s really interesting about these “zombie fungi” is that each species specializes on just one type of insect; not just ants. This indicates that there’s a close co-evolution between the parasite and the host. And what these fungi ends up doing on a grander scale is that they keep any one species from getting the upper hand. If one group of insects becomes too numerous, they have a higher chance of getting infected, thus constantly promoting diversity in the jungle.

3. The Lost Stone Head of Guatemala

Back in 1987, a doctor of philosophy by the name of Oscar Rafael Padilla Lara received a photograph of a giant stone head located somewhere in the jungles of Guatemala. The photograph was reportedly taken during the 1950s by a man who owned the land where the head was located. Dr. Padilla then tracked down the landowner and went looking for the head. Unfortunately, however, when they got there the head was gone. Well, it was still there, actually; it just no longer looks like a human head. From 1960 to 1996, Guatemala was ravaged by civil war and it seems that the mysterious stone head was used as target practice by the rebels. The site is located some 6 miles away from the small village of La Democracia in southern Guatemala. Dr. Padilla measured what remained of the monolith to a height of about 20 feet. But since the war was still taking place at the time, he never returned to the site.

Now, there have been other stone heads discovered in the country, as well as southern Mexico, which were created by the Olmec civilization during the first and second millennium BC. What makes this stone head so special, however, is the fact that it doesn’t look anything like the others. While the Olmec monuments resemble a more “Negroid” appearance – something that sparked all sorts of wild theories – this one had a more “Caucasian” look to it, which again ignited alien conspiracies. Some, nevertheless, speculate that this head was maybe an anomaly in the Olmec period, or maybe it was made by another culture altogether, before or after the Olmecs themselves. Others believe that, similar to the Easter Island Statues, there may be a body underneath yet to be discovered. But there is some controversy about the whole story. Due to the odd nature of the discovery and the unlikely and seemingly unfortunate series of events surrounding it, some believe the head to be a hoax. The answer, however, is still hidden within the Guatemalan jungles.

2. Real Life Tarzan

It’s a known and accepted fact that those who venture into the jungle have a big chance of never coming back out again. There are plenty of things that can go wrong and they sometimes do. But it’s not that common for people to lose themselves in the jungle willingly. But on extremely rare occasions, this happens as well. This was the case of a man and his then-infant son, who’ve been living in the Vietnamese jungles for over 40 years. During the Vietnam War, Ho Van Thanh, now over 80 years old, took his youngest son, Ho Van Lang, deep within the jungle in order to escape an US air raid that killed his wife and two older sons. Unbeknownst to him, however, his wife gave birth to another son just before the air raid, and this baby also managed to somehow survive, and was then taken by his uncle, Thanh’s brother.

Forty years later, the two were discovered some 25 miles away from the nearest village, living in a tree house constructed close to a stream. The two also crafted their own makeshift tools like axes, knives and even arrows, and were even tending a sugarcane plantation. They also had a small fire going in the suspended hut and made their own underpants from dried tree bark. When discovered, the father was barely able to walk due to his old age, and even forgot most of the language. His son, though thin, was in peak physical condition, but like his father, didn’t know the language. Neither of them was suffering from any diseases. When taken back to the village, the father was taken to the hospital in order to receive proper medical treatment. However, doctors had to tie him to the bed because he kept trying to escape back into the jungle.

1. The White City of the Monkey God

Ever since the time of Hernan Cortez and his conquest of the Aztecs, there have been legends of a mighty city somewhere deep in the unexplored jungles to the south. This city was said to be so wealthy and so powerful that nobles were eating their food from plates of gold. And in charge of this city was an all-powerful monkey god. The Bishop of Honduras sent a letter to the King of Spain in 1544, telling him that after an arduous travel through the dense jungles, guided there by some locals, he saw the city from the top of the mountain in one of the valleys below. After that, the legend only continued to grow. That was until 1939, when an explorer by the name of Theodore Morde claimed to have found it in the Mosquita Valley area in Honduras. However, he was later found dead in his parent’s house, having supposedly hanged himself, never revealing the actual location.

However, a recent archaeological expedition in the area has actually discovered the site by making use of state of the art technology. The ancient city is located in a crater-like valley, surrounded by mountains and covered by almost impenetrable vegetation. The exact location is, however, kept a secret in the hopes of keeping looters away. The archaeologists have since managed to map an extensive area of the site, discovering plazas, earth pyramids, and countless valuable artifacts and stone statues. Though they don’t believe in an actual “White City of the Monkey God,” they do believe that they’ve stumbled upon something even greater: apreviously unknown civilization that inhabited the area long ago.


Bungle in the Jungle

– WIF Nature

THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 181

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 181

…“Listen to you! There IS a devious bone in that good-old-boy body…”

“Well it can’t be another Texan and it can’t be another space guy, so why not a rifle-toting, rock’em-sock’em reformer from America’s Dairyland.” Brain gears are churning away. “And we can sneak it in at the end of the Space Colony tribute.”

“Morbidly, you may be on to something, tying this whole deal in with the McKinneys, but, and I underline but, I don’t think it should distract from the solemnity of the memorial service.”

His wife is buying into the notion. That low, murky, gray cloud that has shadowed Roy the past four months {always a step behind like a political version of an undertaker} is starting to clear up, replaced by the blue-hue of tranquility.

With calm comes clarity, “We will wait until the scheduled news conference that afternoon. The emotional impact will be different from the memorial, I won’t even deviate from the respectful reminiscing I have been working on, but sliding the announcement in at the end will negate any negative reaction to Charlotte.”

“Listen to you! There IS a devious bone in that good-old-boy body,” Francine is impressed.

“The time is right for a female Vice-President and I believe you prefer my choice to that Georgia peach of a Congresswoman… the one whose husband just died of a brain tumor… and she has called me twice to express her interest?”

Francine is quite aware of Roy Crippen’s baser appeal. He is a tabloid rock star, a media darling, and the hottest thing presidential since JFK {after an extreme makeover and an injection of swagger}. But just like Kennedy he is more than a pretty face; men with a hypnotic power of persuasion and the adept skill to lead the nation down the road of turbulent uncertainty.

Another welcome asset in his corner is with his support team’s ability to keep a secret. In a society where security and info leaks are an art form, thanks to the instantaneous news cycle and continuously connected individuals throughout the world, in those somber days leading up to the posthumous honoring of Celeste and Sampson McKinney… not a single peep, hint or drip about candidate-elect Charlotte Walker.


THE RETURN TRIP

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 180

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 180

…Scott Walker mentioned that his daughter is looking for a way out of “Toilet Paper Politics” in Wisconsin…

Candidate Crippen has already set the wheeloffortune in motion, having Image result for wheel of fortune gifcontacted her Chief of Staff, “Would you call your boss and tell her to meet me in Milwaukee, at the Pfister Hilton, Mason Street Grill tomorrow night at 7P? Tell her that it has to do with the White House.”

“If you didn’t know, the Hilton is a casino… and how do you know anything about where we’re staying in Milwaukee?” Even though she can’t know everything her husband does, doesn’t mean she wouldn’t like to know.

“I met her father there a month ago, he being some sort of expert on work-fare and it’s funny, but he mentioned that his daughter  is looking for a way out of “Toilet Paper Politics” in that state. I don’t know why I didn’t press him on the subject, but he did mention she goes deer hunting in late November, bragged about teaching her how to be a sportsman.”

Speaking of the devil, his phone ringtone blares Sputnik-bleeps, “Roy Crippen,” Thity Point Buckhe chimes in.

“Charlotte Walker, Roy, my dad told me he met you a while back, congratulations on your nomination. I would have been in Chicago, but I had an appointment with a 30 point buck… that’s an exaggeration AND a song up here.”

“Can you meet us in Milwaukee? I promise to make it worthwhile.”

Wisconsin License Plate Art by DeAnna Roose

“I got the message, I love the Mason Grill. I will see you there.”

The impromptu call ends and so may that nagging 130 {or so} pound Veep-issue headache.

“Now that you have this notion in that one-way brain of yours, I cannot argue with you on the issue of compatible VP choices. But I’m not sure the party faithful will agree.”

“Well it can’t be another Texan and it can’t be another space guy, so why not a rifle-toting, rock’em-sock’em reformer from America’s Dairyland.”


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America’s Dairyland

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 179

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 179

…“Could you stand having another woman in my life?” Roy is curious…

Jealousy the Other Woman by Harry Weisburd

Francine and Roy discuss his choices for VEEP.

“Exactly! I would sooner worry about a Canadian civil war than be undermined by my vice-president.” He is sitting back in the front seat of his “Crippen For You 2032” tour bus on its way up I-94 to Milwaukee Wisconsin, watching the NBC Nightly News coverage of the campaign in totality out of one eye.

After hashing and rehashing the debate over whom Roy Crippen should choose for his running mate, the stately and authoritative {when was the last time you heard a woman referred to as that?} Savannah Guthrie makes mention of the upcoming memorial service planned in Houston for Sampson and Celeste McKinney and it made him think, “What do you think Charlotte Walker is doing for the next eight years?”

Firebrand

“What… the governor of Wisconsin? She is a firebrand, I’ll give her that, with a political bloodline that leads back to the union busting days of her daddy; none too popular among the Democratic old-guard.”

“Everyone I would want with me in power is either attached to the Space Program {Rick Stanley or Braden King} or I am married to {you}. Now look at Sampson and Celeste, they are an example of what two people, with divergent personalities, can accomplish when tied together for an extended period of time.”

“If you are serious, you better talk to her in person.”

“Could you stand having another woman in my life?” he is curious.

“Why not, she is happily married to a stay-at-home househusband who takes care of the kids, from what I remember hearing.”

“Do you know why she wasn’t at the Chicago speech? Of course you don’t. She was in the Nicolet National Forest hunting white-tailed deer.”

No bull!? Is she going to be in Milwaukee?”

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Wisconsin State Seal | by PhotoArtMarie

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 178

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 178

…All in all the evening could not have gone better… the script was followed, the prime rib delicious, and the campaign drumbeat remains uplifting and rosy…

Splendid Evening by Abrishami Hessam

Barbara Z. is a faithful campaign foot soldier.

“How did you remember my name?” asks the middle-aged woman who has met Roy in person just once.

“It is plain ol’ polite to recognize the folks you work with, that’s what my Mamma told me.”

“I look forward to our rally in Milwaukee,” she courts a hug from him.

“You must excuse us Barb. The senior Senator from Wisconsin is calling us over to the head table.” Francine is responsible for forward progress, when Roy is stuck in neutral.

All in all the evening could not have gone better. The script was followed, the prime rib delicious, and the campaign drumbeat remains uplifting and rosy; a good time had by all, unless you are a closet Freelove supporter.

But despite his overwhelming support and the resulting successes lavished on his crusade, Roy is seriously procrastinating over the selection of his 2nd. To be sure his feet are dragging on the issue, the only issue that he has not expressed with clarity. The Freelove camp is hinting toward the unconstitutionality of this delay in the mandated selection process. They are drooling at the chance to grill an additional target, less angelic than the sainted ex-astronaut.

“You know Francine,” he muses on the way to a Milwaukee rally, “I wonder if I could possibly get elected without a VP, with Braden unavailable and you, well you are you.”

“I am me, but you better get a grip Roy! Thomas Jefferson and his boys made sure that the highest constitutional office has a line of succession; bing, bang, boom and we are down to the President pro tempore and you would not approve of that particular Senator!”

“Good point… speaking of lists, have you seen the latest one given me by the Republican Committee. Most of them are party regulars and most of them are not my biggest fans. All but one wanted to be president, not the second fiddle. Not fans of attending funerals for 3rd World leaders or speaking to the National Farmer Organization’s annual convention, I guess?”

“They would rather have you impeached first.”

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 177

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 177

…The world as we know it has an expiration date, unless we reach for the stars…

Roy continues his Chicago campaign speech.

“Think about it closely. Picture the world within the framework of our children and our grandchildren, not just our own short lifetimes. A watershed moment is at SOL-logohand my fellow citizens of planet Earth. What if we do not deploy a Space Colony II? What if we don’t achieve the speed-of-light and aggressively fund the SOL Project? What if we sit on our butts without giving ourselves a hand up and out, settling for the status quo?

“There is a simple answer to those questions; the what-ifs and should-haves will be our ultimate undoing. The world as we know it has an expiration date, unless we reach for the stars. As President of the United States of America, the leader of the free world, I will work tirelessly for the purpose of our participation in the greater galactic neighborhood we refer to as the Milky Way. I invite the rest of the world to join us in speeding up the technological processes necessary to accomplish these things before the end of this decade.”

The huge gathering in the Hilton ballroom has been clobbered over the head with a sledgehammer. They have been told, ‘You are trapped in a burning building and there is one way out… will you get out or will you perish in the flames?’

The worldwide digital audience, the national addressees in particular are cautiously enthusiastic. All of Crippen’s futurist views are outdone by the lack of the long awaited announcement of his vice-presidential running mate, but no one dare doubt his reasoning. It is hard to doubt someone so prepared, so sincere. Freelove’s camp is especially anxious to have another person to sling mud at, seeing that mud just doesn’t stick to Roy Crippen.

At the reception following his “Space Speech”, aspiring first lady Francine is at his side, amid all the optimistic talk. He treats his campaign people like royalty and their loyalty is secure. If someone dares to falsely accuse their candidate of wrongness, be prepared for a fight.

One such loyalist compliments Roy on his tie. He knows most by name, “Why thank you Barb. Francine picks out all my clothes. Without her fashion sense, I would be wearing dirty jeans and Bart Simpson tee-shirts.”

Francine rolls her eyes.

Barbara Z. laughs like it was the funniest thing she has heard in a year.


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World Urban Extremes – WIF Geography

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Most Extreme Cities

in the World

As of 2008, for the first time in human history about as many people live in urban areas as suburban or rural ones. That means there are a lot of people who think that they deal with greater levels of traffic, more crime, more overcrowding, and higher costs of living than residents of places they consider barely populated backwaters.

 Well, those urbanites have something to consider: They live with country bumpkin-levels of those problems compared to the denizens of the following cities. Depending on the city in question, that makes them much more fortunate, or unfortunate, than the occupants probably realize.
Now, it’s important to remember, when we say “extreme” we don’t mean these are places where you should grab a Mountain Dew and a snowboard, bruh. These 10 cities, instead, exist at the extreme edge of various spectrums. Let’s take a closer look, shall we?

10. Largest Population

This is one of the more contentious records as far as cities of the world go, since during rush hour or big events they can all feel like they’ve got the most people in them. Some of the most populous cities in developing nations have very outdated, underfunded bureaucracies which can make an accurate census report difficult to acquire. This is especially true for two of the leading contenders, Jakarta, Indonesia and Delhi, India. But even the highest estimates put them at the city the World Atlasclaims is the world champion: Tokyo, Japan.

As of November 2016, Tokyo’s population was reported to be roughly 37,830,000 residents. To put that very large number in perspective, the population of Japan is reported by the CIA to be roughly 127,000,000 people. More than a quarter of the island nation’s population is located in one urban area. And yet, it’s by no means the largest city or the most crowded.

9. Largest Land Area

In July 2016, Guardian magazine said that urban areas were expected to triple in size over the next forty years. That’s also probably how long it will take any of the fastest growing cities to overtake the current largest urban area in the world. The champion city in that regard is unquestionably New York City, New York, with a metro area of 8,683 square kilometers (or 5,395 square miles if you’re going to use the imperial system like a true American).

It’s over 1,700 square kilometers more than Tokyo, the next largest urban area. It’s also nearly as large as the entire state of Connecticut (5,543 square miles). As it happens, growth in New York City has been slowing as recently as 2016. So it’s not out of the question for the little joke from the start of this entry that some other city will overtake it in the coming decades will have some truth to it.

8. Most Densely Populated City

As heavily populated and vast as New York and Tokyo are, they’re not even close to the most crowded, even if stories of people having to pay hundreds of dollars to live in closets might give that impression. After all, they are cities with large numbers of wealthy inhabitants who can afford decently-sized apartments and houses  No, you have to go to the developing world to find places where people truly have no elbow room. Not even to a notoriously crowded city like Hong Kong. It’s one which many people in the Western Hemisphere haven’t even heard of, let alone a famous city.It’s Dhaka, the largest metropolis in Bangladesh.

At 16,235,000, its population is roughly a million less than that of the New York Metro area, but it’s less than 125 square miles in size. There are more than 110,000 people per square mile, and considering that the Telegraph reported that it was rated the second least livable city in the world, the housing is overwhelmingly slums. Unfortunately for many of the people who already live there, it’s only going to get worse in the immediate future because it’s also one of the fastest growing cities in the world.

7. Most Expensive City

The average person on the street would probably guess that the answer is New York City again, considering it’s a city where a single riverside house can go for as much as $130 million. But we live in a rapidly changing world, so we have to look across the Pacific once again to find the real ‘winner’. As of 2014, that honor swung over to Singapore, particularly due to the rising cost of utilities, food (11% higher than New York City), clothing (50% higher than New York City), and vehicular ownership. Not owning a car won’t save you that much: Singapore’s other transportation methods are three times more expensive than NYC’s.

This dubiously desirable record was still held as of 2016, though it’s been so volatile that it dropped and rose 10% during the time in between. With that in mind, such a volatile economic status means that a bust that leaves it one of the cheaper cities to live in might be around the corner.

6. Healthiest City

It’s time for us to look at an unambiguously positive record for a city to have, for a change. From clear air initiatives to encouraging cycling, many cities are going out of their way to increase the longevity of their citizens. The front runner is, once again, a city that’s not particularly famous. It’s the city-state of Monaco, which is totally surrounded by France except for a coast along Mediterranean Sea. You’ve probably only heard of it either if you’re into Formula One racing, or because you’re a fan ofGrace Kelly. It’s only about two square kilometers (1.24 miles) with a population of only roughly 38,000. Odds are you’ve only heard of it for how ridiculously small it is compared to most nations.

 However, Monaco exists in no small part as a tax shelter, and thus it has drawn a highly disproportionate number of wealthy people. So not only does it have enough people who can afford top-of-the-line medical treatment and lifestyles, it has taken on green initiatives and has many electric cars for government employees, driving down illnesses caused by emissions. The result is the residents have an average life expectancy of a staggering 89.6 years. Perhaps the city-state doesn’t seem so silly now?

5. City with Worst Traffic

Even people who’ve been stuck in traffic for hours doesn’t really understand how bad it can get. Imagine that the worst traffic you’ve experienced was not only significantly worse, but that such an amount of traffic is effectively routine. If you can imagine that, then you’ve just pictured life for the average driver in Mexico City, the city which has held the title for “Worst Traffic” for multiple years. It’s also the only country in the Western Hemisphere in the top five.

During regular hours, a driver in Mexico can expect a trip to take at least 66% longer to reach the destination than if there was no traffic congestion. When rush hour comes around, however, this will balloon to around 101%. Every driver can look forward to spending an average of just under an hour a work day stuck in congested traffic. Even factoring in days off and other times that might help them avoid the worst congestion, the average person in Mexico City will still spend 227 hours a year stuck in traffic, or just over nine days total. It’s frankly kind of amazing enough people are willing to put up with that, to the point where the traffic can remain so bad.

4. Most Impoverished City in the World

It’s no surprise that the poorest city in the world is located in an area that was torn apart by civil war for decades. Even 14 years after the end of a 23-year civil war, Monrovia, Liberia can hardly be described as having recovered. It’s the largest city in Liberia and the capital, with a population of roughly one million. Despite that, amenities most people take completely for granted are generally out of the question for them.

Public transportation is limited to sparse private taxis. Electricity is utterly unreliable, leaving such devices as ATMs and credit card readers out of the question. Those with access to electricity aren’t supposed to use it between 2 and 6 a.m. Monrovia’s plumbing infrastructure is so insufficient that only one third of the population even has access to a flush toilet. They have to rely on makeshift latrines or even public spaces. Even for those whose toilet functions, the sewage system for the city is failing, leaving the sanitation bad enough that it’s no surprise the city was hit by an ebola outbreak.

3. Happiest City

Okay, since that was pretty grim, let’s lighten the mood by focusing on something positive. It might seem difficult or unscientific to quantify something as abstract as the happiness of a city. However, the design and consultation firm Arcadis’s method for determining it still seems pretty credible. It was to take the balance of the population’s health, the amount of prejudices the citizens faced and expressed, the levels of education, employment levels vs. cost of living, and the crime rate. After crunching the available data of all that, the city in question turned out to be none other than Seoul, the capital city of South Korea. You might think that a city that is constantly threatened with nuclear destruction by a notoriously unstable neighbor would make the city more paranoid, but this does not seem to be the case (it undoubtedly helps that North Korean missiles are infamously unreliable).

Unfortunately for fans of small government, this success is attributed in no small part to extensive urban planning. Seoul’s government also heavily favors globalist policies. Maybe you feel living in a happier city might not be worth accepting all that, but it feels like something worth considering.

2. The Most Homicidal City

Let’s get the most negative one out of the way. Many people believe that cities are inherently more violent than rural areas (although a study published in 2013 showed that cities actually aren’t any more dangerous than less populated areas), so they’ll assume that the most violent one must be practically a free-fire zone. That city would be Caracas, Venezuela, which is also that nation’s capital.

As the World Atlas reported in February 2017, the capital’s murder rate reached 119.87 per 100,000 people, meaning that with a population of 2.1 million, 2,517 homicides will occur there in a year. It’s one of only four cities in the world where the murder rate is more than 100 per 100,000. To give an idea just how much homicide there is in Venezuela, there are two other Venezuelan cities in the worldwide top ten for homicides a year. It’s more than double the homicide rate of St. Louis, Missouri, which now has the highest murder rate in America per capita. It’s also not a brand new development. Even back in 2011, Caracas’s murder rate became notorious when it rose above Baghdad’s. Hopefully there’s still time for anyone reading to cancel their plans to take a vacation there.

1. Oldest City in the World

We’ll conclude this list with a neutral fact. In this case, we don’t mean which was the first city ever built (evidence indicates this would be long-abandoned Jericho of Old Testament fame). What we’re looking for is which city has been continuously occupied since it was founded for the longest time. You might think it’s somewhere in Africa, where humans first evolved. Maybe you assume it’s somewhere in Eastern Asia? How about in the Middle East, where Mesopotamia is known as the Cradle of Civilization? Turns out it’s the last one, and it’s a city that likely will be quite familiar to anyone following current world events. As reported by The Guardian magazine, it’s poor, war-ravaged Aleppo, the largest city in Syria, that has the strongest claim.

Aleppo was first founded as a city circa 6,000 BC, because it occupied easily defended, hilly terrain. Its easy access to the Queiq River connected it to what’s now the nation of Turkey, and made it a valuable trading center for millennia. Being located in the notoriously volatile Middle East has meant it was conquered and reconquered many times by many empires including the Assyrians, Egyptians, and so on. So while it’s currently experiencing extreme turmoil, we can be assured that it will be able to recover eventually. It certainly has plenty of times in the past.


World Urban Extremes

– WIF Geography