Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 109

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Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 109

…Slow down sweetie, you lost me at ‘Hello Ace’…

Constance continues her twisting tale of woe to Ace Bannion, the newest addition to the CCPI team.

 Long_Story_Short“And what’s this stuff about the Devil? Are you sure you haven’t had some bad Chinese food or maybe psychedelic mushrooms?”

“I am not joking AB. There is some crazy stuff going down and it’s becoming downright dangerous. Beside the misplaced scientist, we have a dubious suicide, a mysterious man struck and conveniently killed by a lightning bolt, the guy we hired to drive us e-v-e-r-y-where gets shot trying to rescue his kidnapped wife… and that’s for starters.”

“Friendly little town.”

“And much closer to home, Fanny was abducted by guys named Bing Crosby & Gene Kelly, but I killed them the other day and since returning to Florida, Fanny finds out that someone tried to blow up our building leaving 1500 Lira behind.”

“You can always count on my help, you know that, but it sounds like it may be hazardous to my health.”

“Hey, we got the science-guy back, thankfully Fanny back, Eddie & Edie D. back and now you have my back.”

“Sounds like you have a back problem, when, about a week back?”

“Funny, very funny. This goes all the way back before the 1951 even got rolling.”

He is discovering that Constance has some pent-up frustration.

“I’m not just going to get back at them, I plan to get even,” she promises. “Are you up to a trip to Italy?”

“Why… because Betty found some Italian money blowing around in your backyard?”

“Not just that Ace, oh no! We’re kinda working with a CIA guy, with about 10 different names, and he tells us that he’s been inside the devil’s headquarters, in Rome. And, and that they are behind the Forever Mastadon movement who is behind all the kidnappings.”

“Slow down sweetie, you lost me at ‘Hello Ace’.”

“Do you want to help or are you here to make fun of me?”


Constance Caraway P.I.

Forever Mastadon


page 97

Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 95

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Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 95

…There are a number of givens that Pentateuch takes to his cold, cold heart…

“When was the last time we ran from a fight?” asks Constance

“How about that alley behind Doc’s Drugs when we were cornered by that Doberman Pincher…?”

“Other than that damned dog, Fanny!”

“Then we should stick it out for a while, to see how things fall in place and hopefully not fall to pieces,” no Eddie, no joy.

“Chin up there dear Fanny, we will see this thing through.”

Directly on the heels of those positive thoughts, Edie Dombroski emerges from her private isolation, “Eddie made it through surgery! They tell me he has a 65% chance of being his old self again!”

Edie is just happy her hero is alive.

Everyone else is hoping that the near-death experience erases some of those 2,000 stories and perhaps 4 of his shirttail relatives.

A group hug breaks out, unabashed joy replaces doubting despair. For the three women who did not know each other when the sun rose in the east, are now bonding just as it sets beyond the promising western horizon.

Back at Via Catone, Cephus/Spencer/Rogue/Daniels reports back to an already frustrated Pentateuch. Strange and mysterious are the ways of this disreputable despot and how he knew of Canisso/Wolfgram’s unfortunate encounter with nature’s wrath is unsettling.

“A random bolt of lightning? Please! Those measly humans will blame “Mother Nature” for something like that!” This incident only adds to the deep-seated jealousy harbored against the Divine One and his powers. “Alas, poor Canisso.”

“There is no trace of his body.”

“I doubt that he was taken into the heavenlies.” There are a number of givens that Pentateuch takes to his cold, cold heart:

  1. =There is a Heaven
  2. =There is a hell
  3. =He will never be #1

1. “You are going to tell me that, that old woman is still alive,” Period.

2. “You have failed to satisfy your terms of conscription,” True.

3. “I need to replace Canisso,” Fact.

Inadvertent successor or no, Cephus/Daniels has reached his objective without having to whack-a-nun. He will be able to witness World Agnostica Unlimited’s most dire activities and have a hand in FOREVER MASTADON’s day-to-day.

If all goes according to the CIA’s plan, both will crumble from the top down.


Constance Caraway P.I.

Forever Mastadon


page 86

Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 57

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Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 57

…“I am Agent Daniels from the CIA, Special Activities Division…

There is someone waiting for Martin and the gals when they return from Elgin; a very quiet ride back considering they return empty handed, although buoyed by the overall results of their daytrip. But the Kimbark off-campus gray stone is not empty, rather occupied by a dark suited individual and young man, two new faces to the girls, one with red paint splattered over his self.

The booby trap that the crack CCPI-iers had set up apparently did its job; anyone coming in while they were gone, without prior clearance was to be branded by the same ink placed in bank bags filled with cash. The piano teacher is an unintended, if not unknown target.

“William, are you okay? I am so sorry,” Kamen tells his obscure housemate, while glaring at Constance.

“It is a pleasure to meet your phantom cohabitator Martin… but the trip-wire worked well I see. Sorry about that kiddo!” But there is another. “And who do we have here?”

“I am Agent Daniels from the CIA, Special Activities Division,the outwardly undaunted man hands over his I.D.  “Obviously you have been expecting intruders, of which I suppose I am technically so, but William beat me here by a few minutes and let me in immediately; a bit chilly out there and the neighborhood is a bit dicey, I stand out like a sore thumb.”

“You just never know who or what you are going to catch, Agent Daniels.” Constance does not apologize for her intruder deterrent. “To what do we owe the pleasure?”

“For the last year and a half I have been embedded in a foreign organization called FOREVER MASTADON, FM for short. Their sole purpose is to suppress scientific information, the kind that goes against their neo-communist agenda. Miss Caraway, you first exposed them to the world when James East was found to be a double agent at Argonne’s Manhattan Project at the conclusion of WWII, but no one knew at the time, how that man (Victor VonOeste) fit in to the larger scheme. FM was behind the efforts to throw a wrench into our Chicago Pile One project from within; no bomb no peace.”

Guilty as charged.


Constance Caraway P.I.

Forever Mastadon


page 55

Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 35

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Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 35

…I may need the back-up, but stay 20 feet behind me and let’s pretend we’re not together…

Once the initial shock of discovering Fanny safe ‘n sound has set in and the requisite debriefing is out of the way, Constance leaves her in Martin’s care for the remainder of the day. The excitement meter needle has been redlining for the last day. It needs to return to normal levels.

33 North LaSalle

Eddie is re-gathered for the task of taking his employer to 33 N. LaSalle Street. She is going to see what she can find out about World Agnostica, at the address listed on that fortuitous business card. What is their deal?

“That building at 33 LaSalle is one of the last skyscrapers built before The Depression. I don’t get many fares from there… bankers are cheapskates and their secretaries are heavy smokers. I pretend not to see ‘em.”

“That’s a bank building, interesting?”

“I don’t know if you know, being an out-of-towner, but 39-blank, blank, blank means you’ll be going to the 39th floor?”

“Thanks for the tip in higher arithmetic Eddie,” she looks up at the top of the building. “If I’m not back in 30 minutes, call the Coast Guard.”

“The Coast Guard is another name for the sissy’s navy. I don’t think they have guns on their boats… my Uncle Fred (not a cousin?) rescues ducks or something…”

“I was only kidding. On second thought, instead of waiting, let’s park the car and you come in with me. I may need the back-up, but stay 20 feet behind me and let’s pretend we’re not together.”

“If anyone asks me what I’m doing, I’ll tell them I’m here for a mortgage on my house.”

“Meet me on the 39th floor and don’t talk to anyone,”

He visually zips his mouth shut.

“You’ll need a lock for that Eddie!” the out-of-town sleuth quips.


Constance Caraway P.I.

Forever Mastadon


page 34

Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 29

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Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 29

…you Florida gals haven’t lived until you’ve eaten at a White Castle…

“Back to the University, Eddie!” Constance orders.

“Yeah and don’t spare the horses, I know!” The gregarious cabby is all jacked to get some action. It seems that while waiting for the other two, they were not just twiddling their thumbs. “Hey, show ‘em what you found when you jimmied that lock.”

“Fanny?”

“I couldn’t resist,” Fanny holds up what appears to be a device, electronic in nature.

Constance looks at Martin, who shrugs his shoulder. “Put it in the trunk. We’ll make some sense out of that back in the city.”

The Packard’s trunk is unlatched and the unlatched portfolio is placed inside, as if it were cursed.

“Say, can we get something to eat, I’m starved?” pleads Eddie.

“Any suggestions? I don’t know if we have time to waste.” Connie inquires.

“Hey, my tummy is growling. We passed a White Castle on the way down, over on Halsted. It’s on the way and you Florida gals haven’t lived until you’ve eaten at a White Castle. No waiters or tipping!”

“Sliders,” Martin confirms with some disdain. White Castle Restaurants are burger joints famous for their size: small, requiring more than one to fill you up. The white castle building is modeled after Chicago’s Water Tower, one of the few structures to escape the Great Fire of 1871.

“Alright, eating at a castle sounds romantic,” ever the conduit for positivism, Fanny adds her Eddie's Cousins-001approval. “Let’s go inside.”

“My treat,” Eddie insists. “My cousin Harold (#2 if you’re keeping score)) owns White Castle stock; says it’s the best investment out there. They call it fast-food; I call it heaven, in three bites or less.”

“Heaven and hell intersect at Halsted & 179th Street.”

“What’s that Marty?”

Martin need not clarify.

All of a sudden Eddie swerves to miss a wayward black sedan. His passengers are jostled about. “That goof almost hit us! He must be on his way home from the tavern!”

Once they safely gain White Castle’s dining area, standing at the counter, Eddie does the ordering, “A Variety Sack of 30 and three Cokes.”

Constance picks out a booth by the front window, where Homewood meets Glenwood. “Busy street,” she comments.


Constance Caraway P.I.

Forever Mastadon


page 28

The NULL Solution = Episode 195

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The NULL Solution = Episode 195

…A dynamic force develops in the form of one family of explorers…

The people of the Third Planet begin to explore the space beyond their atmosphere, just as others have done before them. They are restless. They wonder if they are alone among the stars. ⃝     can only watch.

     intervenes in the politics on the Third Planet to rebuke the nuclear aggression by the leadership of the United Korean Peninsula. They will not be allowed to unilaterally destroy the balance of power there.      must protect.      must protect the good. Evil is bad.

A dynamic force develops in the form of one family of explorers. Of all those aspiring to explore the Great Expanse, utilizing the Third Planet as a base, the clan McKinney rises above the rest. They have reached the Fourth Planet with the intention of colonization. Colonizing is not a new concept. Other worlds have done so. The McKinney curiosity leads them to a vessel from a not-so-distant star system. The Milky Way galaxy and the Great Expanse will forever be changed.

Then, three galaxies meet. Separation is bridged by altering the fabric of space and time, each to their skill. The illusion of aloneness is shattered. The need for logical coexistence increases with every interaction. ⃝     will make way a path to coexist.

     is fond of the literary twist called the riddle. Riddles are challenging. Riddles require insightful thought. Insight reveals the character of the reader. Dismissing a riddle demonstrates a lack of determination. Determination solves riddles. Failure lacks determination.


I am the how & why that blocks your way

2 + 1 = 6

6 – 2 = 9

0 – 1 = 0

Solve the what where & who and you can pass through

I am the how & why that blocks your way

Prove your worthiness and the light will show the way back


Such are the riddles posed by us in order to unlock the gates to an order, a confederation of worlds that promotes peace and cooperation rather than conflict. The Creator scorns conflict. Conflict is bad.

Harmonia will be a gathering point among the Great Expanse. It will have a light that shines throughout. All who see the beacon are invited to participate in Harmonia. Acceptance is encouraged. Those who see the light and reject it shall be dealt with, the degree of which will shadow their accounts in ⃝    ’s library of life.

Harmonia now thrives on the Fourth Planet of the star system named Terran, in the galaxy called the Milky Way. They call me Lorgan.


The NULL Solution =

Episode 195


page 189 (end Ch. 21)

The NULL Solution = Episode 190

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The NULL Solution = Episode 190

…Leave it to Župzïð to make the most of a bad situation….

Bad situation! by ptmutant on deviant art.com

Once the human heart is set on something, especially a McKinney beat-repeater, there is nothing you can do deter it. Returning to Earth has been irretrievably etched in the four 100% human souls, the 50% soul of a boy born to both worlds and the sole 100% Eridanian soul being used as a pawn in a selfish game.

Cartoon by Mickey Bach

The best of intentions oftentimes go astray. So it is with the alternate dimension that Lorgan created and Collapsar Axis was banished to. Merely being moved to a new space with likeminded miscreants was not such a good idea and had unintended consequences. The self-contained Ÿ€Ð outpost has gone on to dominate that chunk of space and time, dominating being a bad thing.

Leave it to Župzïð to make the most of a bad situation. You could call him the worst of the worse. What was meant to be a purgatorial realm for those not buying into the Harmonia formulae has turned into a romping free-for-all, one without proper supervision. Yes there is nowhere to go, but it is getting there fast.

Lorgan’s hand is being truly forced for the very first time. It is one thing to encourage cooperation among the reasonable, but quite a can of worms is now unleashed. Caged marauders are still marauders. Apparently hell cannot extend deep enough.

“There is a portal on the perimeter Supreme Leader,” alerts a Collapsar commander. “I can see the beacon from here.” A sight for sore eyes?

“Where does it lead?” wonders Župzïð. “Do not waste your time finding out. I tire of this place.”

“Did you answer the riddle Supreme Leader?”

I am the how & why that blocks your way

Prove your worthiness and the light will show the way back


The NULL Solution =

Episode 190


page 184 (end Ch. 20)