Sunny Puns Eclipse Edition

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Sunny Puns Eclipse Edition

Occasionally in the Caribbean there’s a total calypso the sun.

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I noticed that the sun was out, and nobody had bothered to relight it.

The star asked the sun why the moon was always up so late. Sun responded that it was just a phase.

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Scientists studying the sun have a flare for research.

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You should put on more sun tan lotion in order to save face.

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Chicken Little, the sky is falling


Sunny Puns

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Eclipse Edition

THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 254

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 254

…Where in God’s name is Errordannias…

“Holy crap Deke, we must be dead!”

That kind of material is so like Gus. Sampson breaks into a hearty laugh.

They speak to each other like the “others” cannot hear, “That’s Mom and Dad and they haven’t aged? Someone must have slipped us a mickey.”

“Maybe, but before I passed out, Mom was floating in front of me, showing me her wedding band.”

“Maybe we went through a wormhole or something?”

“No Gus, it is really us,” Celeste assures.

Sampson follows up with, “You ain’t dreaming boys, and we are for real.” He has his arms about Deimostra’s quivering shoulder, ushering her forward, “And I’d like to introduce you boys to your sister.”

She smiles sheepishly. Deke and Gus rub their eyes. Instinctively she hugs each in turn. The whole hallucination theory suddenly goes out the window.

Shaky on their feet and at a loss for words, tears of joy stream down their cheeks; no how, whys or wherefores.

“May we present to you, Deimostra Samantha McKinney, child of space.”

“Okay, if this fairy tale contains a sister, fine, but where the hell are we?”

A good place to start would be stepping out of the Stellar Explorer, five family members’ hand-in-hand filing past the menagerie that is the Spaceflight Expository. Upon gaining the edge of the massive entry/exit doors, they are exposed to the miles high pedestals that dominate their new home, “This is Eridanus and it’s not a Towersfairytale.”

“Error-what? Where are the people,” Gus wonders?

“They live in towered cities like Eupepsia, this one and those dotting the horizon. We thought it best that we are your first contact.”

“Where in God’s name is Error-dannias, it sound like Epsilon Eridani the star,” Gus knows his stars, but cannot make the connection to their present position, likely believing that they had just nodded off a bit.


THE RETURN TRIP

Episode 254


page 297

Contents TRT

THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 246

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 246

CHAPTER 10.5

Company is Coming

…Cerella has made the enormous effort to master her verbal English, to be able to express herself to Eridanus’ newest visitors, whose spaceship is slowing down…

#Do you think your sons will be pleased with their living quarters?# asks Cerella in an apprehensive pitch, totally ignoring that other brother Gus will be along.

“I don’t see why they would not. You have spent the last half of the eclipse solstice getting things just right.” Celeste McKinney is using the spoken word to communicate with the heiress to the High Counsel of Eridanus. Cerella has made the enormous effort to master her verbal English, to be able to express herself to the two newest visitors, whose spaceship is slowing down, while their bodies are slowly speeding up to a new reality.

#What is Deke’s favored nourishment?# Ever since that out-of-body rescue, Cerella seems to have developed a schoolgirl fascination with the Deker.

“Well, for one thing you don’t have cows here Cerella, that’s a big roadblock. My boys were raised on Texas beef.” It is difficult to describe animals that are raised for food. “And secondly, you should replicate that illustration recipe for – you know – pizza.”

Cerella probes Celeste’s mind for the description of this strange combination of ingredients: a flat crust topped by layers of tomato sauce, cheese, and meats on a meat-less world. And woe be to the tomato-less culture, not to mention that it’s not easy being cheesy {without milk}.

“Not to worry my friend, I have been working on a facsimile of a good pie,” assures an anxiously awaiting mother.

#Pie. I can make a fingusberry pie#

“I will take care of feeding them. You handle the hospitality.”

— As inherently different Cerella is from her peers here on Eridanus, particularly her angelically beautiful  features, the heir-apparent to this world of ordered logic has let down her hair. She has embraced humanity and is diving headlong into the caring and understanding of.


THE RETURN TRIP

Episode 246


page 289

Contents TRT

THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 232

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 232

…There are 3 very good reasons for Deke McKinney to be relieved that his brother broke curfew…

“What time is it?” Deke McKinney asks, as his eyes adjust to the bright lights of the kitchenette, having been awakened from quality sleep.

“I don’t know, 01:30 I guess, why?” Brother Gus doesn’t think much about it.

“We’re going to dust-off the moon in six short hours Gus!” The elder of the pioneering duo does not want any puerile thing to interfere with their brush with the future of space travel. “Did anyone see you come in? You will be scrubbed from the mission if they find out you blew curfew… you know that Maddox {mission coordinator} has been waiting for you to screw up, he hates you, you know?”

“That sapsack? He’s been pissed since his girlfriend hit on me at the Christmas party,” Gus’ voice echoes inside their small refrigeration unit scouring it for a late-night snack.

“There is leftover steak in the vacuum chamber, you need the protein,” practical advice from one who knows. “I told Dad that we would douse the lights at 2100 {military time}.”

“I have three good reasons for staying out:

  1. “Roy hasn’t been President for 10 years
  2. The SOL test is a 15 minute trip around the block.”

“Hey Buddy, Roy Crippen may not be President, but he does oversee the SOL Project and as for that trip around the block comment, I wouldn’t take it so lightly. And that’s only two, what’s the third?” urges Deke.

“3. I asked Mindy to marry me,” he licks the cold beef fat off his fingers.

There are three very good reasons for Deke to be relieved:

  1. He had not been out partying
  2. He had disabled the security cameras
  3. Mindy McDonald has been a game-changer in his brother’s life

“We are going to have the biggest wedding that Houston has ever seen!”

This post dedicated to © Charles M. Schulz (1922-2000) R.I.P.


THE RETURN TRIP

Episode 232


page 273

Contents TRT

THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 217

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 217

…“Gus & Deke, of The Space Family McKinney I might add, have been chosen to pilot the first SOL Project cruiser!”…

“The Chosen One” Artwork by Stefan Boettcher – Lucasfilm LTD

“Deker you fox, what brings you to the land of “crooks and cronies”?” He has come to Washington D.C. for a meritorious reason.

“I hate to interrupt movie night, but I’m here on official business Dad.”

Please note that Deke McKinney refers to Roy as “dad” and Gus uses the “sir” name. Gus still has not accepted that their birth father needs to be replaced, one-for-one.

“Gussy (he cannot avoid his nickname) has no idea what I am going to tell you.”

He pauses to make eye contact with formerly little brother; 6’2” to 6’3” and when in the past year did he get passed up in height?

Francine urges Deke to divulge that which he is withholding. “Cut the drama Deke darling!”

“While my little brother has been stealing X-66s and politician’s limos, I have been working behind the scenes.”

“Come on Deke darling, tell everyone that you finished at the top of this year’s class and I was in the cellar,” Gus always thinks everything is about him… this time he is right.

Deke looks back at Gus one last time, undaunted by the goodhearted nature of a sibling-rivalrysibling rivalry.

“Gus & Deke, of The Space Family McKinney I might add, have been chosen to pilot the first SOL Project cruiser!”

“Wahoooo….” Gus bounces off the ceiling.

But it is President/Stepfather that injects pragmatism into the moment, “That flight may be ten years off Gus, so don’t be packing your bags just yet.”

“Oh Roy, do you have to be such a killjoy? You spend every-other hour scheming and dreaming about it and then you throw a wet towel over it.” Francine orders a bottle of sparkling something up to the Red Room. “I think that is news worth celebrating.”

Four glasses are raised high, clinked together, the contents emptied into the stomachs of the foremost forward thinking pioneers this side of Orion’s Belt;  2 true space pioneers plus the prevailing first parents out of that big white house in the District of Columbia, USA.

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THE RETURN TRIP

Episode 217


page 258

Contents TRT

April Fools’ Day – WIF WABAC Almanac

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April Fools’ Day

Color Me

(sometimes called April Fool’s Day or All Fools’ Day) is celebrated every year on the first day of April as a day when people play practical jokes and hoaxes on each other. The jokes and their victims are known as “April fools”. Hoax stories may be reported by the press and other media on this day and explained on subsequent days. Popular since the 19th century, the day is not a national holiday in any country, but it is well known in India, Canada, Europe, Australia, Brazil and the United States.Related image

The earliest recorded association between 1 April and foolishness can be found in Geoffrey Chaucer‘s The Canterbury Tales (1392). Some writers suggest that the restoration of 1 January as New Year’s Day in the 16th century was responsible for the creation of the holiday, but this theory does not explain earlier references.

Origins

The custom of setting aside a day for the playing of harmless pranks upon one’s neighbor is recognized everywhere. Some precursors of April Fools’ Day include the Roman festival of Hilaria, the Holi festival of India, and the Medieval Feast of Fools.

In Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales (1392), the “Nun’s Priest’s Tale” is set Syn March bigan thritty dayes and two. Modern scholars believe that there is a copying error in the extant manuscripts and that Chaucer actually wrote,Syn March was gon. Thus the passage originally meant 32 days after March, i.e. 2 May, the anniversary of the engagement of King Richard II of England to Anne of Bohemia, which took place in 1381. Readers apparently misunderstood this line to mean “32 March”, i.e. 1 April. In Chaucer’s tale, the vain cock Chauntecleer is tricked by a fox.

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In 1508, French poet Eloy d’Amerval referred to a poisson d’avril (April fool, literally “April fish”), a possible reference to the holiday. In 1539, Flemish poet Eduard de Dene wrote of a nobleman who sent his servants on foolish errands on 1 April. In 1686, John Aubrey referred to the holiday as “Fooles holy day“, the first British reference. On 1 April 1698, several people were tricked into going to the Tower of London to “see the Lions washed”.

In the Middle Ages, New Year’s Day was celebrated on 25 March in most European towns. In some areas of France, New Year’s was a week-long holiday ending on 1 April. Some writers suggest that April Fools’ originated because those who celebrated on 1 January made fun of those who celebrated on other dates. The use of 1 January as New Year’s Day was common in France by the mid-16th century, and this date was adopted officially in 1564 by the Edict of Roussillon.

Reception

The practice of April Fool pranks and hoaxes is controversial. The mixed opinions of critics are epitomised in the reception to the 1957 BBC “Spaghetti-tree hoax“, in reference to which, newspapers were split over whether it was “a great joke or a terrible hoax on the public”.

The positive view is that April Fools’ can be good for one’s health because it encourages “jokes, hoaxes…pranks, [and] belly laughs”, and brings all the benefits of laughter including stress relief and reducing strain on the heart. There are many “best of” April Fools’ Day lists that are compiled in order to showcase the best examples of how the holiday is celebrated. Various April Fools’ campaigns have been praised for their innovation, creativity, writing, and general effort – especially those from the major corporations such as Google and Apple.

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The negative view describes April Fools’ hoaxes as “creepy and manipulative”, “rude” and “a little bit nasty”, as well as based on schadenfreude and deceit. When genuine news is published on April Fools’ Day, it is occasionally misinterpreted as a joke—for example, when Google, known to play elaborate April Fools’ Day hoaxes, announced the launch of Gmail with 1-gigabyte inboxes in 2004, an era when competing webmail services offered 4 MB or less, many dismissed it as a joke outright. On the other hand, sometimes stories intended as jokes are taken seriously. Either way, there can be adverse effects, such as confusion, misinformation, waste of resources (especially when the hoax concerns people in danger), and even legal or commercial consequences.


 

April Fools’ Day

“Where is the WABAC Machine going to take us this time, Mr. Peabody?

WIF WABAC Almanac

THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 99

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 99

…Too many twos, two many 2s and if there was a rock big enough to hide behind, Roy would have preferred it to this…

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Braden has been slowly dismantling the many-gift-mountain of cards, boxes, gift wrap and tissue. There are some meant to be shared, ‘Deke & Gus’. There are many specifically labeled either ‘Deke’ or ‘Gus’. Others are anonymous tributes to The Space Family McKinney.

By sheer coincidence and not divine intervention, we think, Francine and Roy’s packages are the last to be unwrapped. The givers of said gifts are still standing near one another, having ooo-ed, aah-d, and clapped politely throughout the process, which has run past daylight’s influence.

Most everyone has done the math or eliminated themselves from belonging to the boxes. Fate is once again shining a spotlight on that reluctant featured pairing, still trying to sort out their feelings, once they get past continuing awkward social situation.

The lady-well-wisher’s carton is next to last, opened with genuine excitement by Gus, “Channel 13 News Crew bomber jackets, look Deke!”

She was afraid people would think her a self-promoter, “It’s the same one worn by our cameramen and grips.”

“Way kool Miss Bouchette. All the kids at school can drool.”

The final unopened gift belonged to Roy.

“Read the card first Deke,” if Braden has the boy skip that part, it would be fine with Roy, who knows exactly how he signed the card.

Too late!!

“2 the two finest young men we know. With Love and friendship,           Uncle Roy and Channel 13 Francine”

The young man reads it loud and proud.

Too many twos, two many 2s and if there was a rock big enough to hide behind, Roy would have preferred it to this. The boys do not think about motivation when it comes to birthdays.

“A 4-D Galaxy Planet Asteroid Tracker by Intel, wow just like the one in your office Uncle Roy… and Francine?”

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Roy wanted to explain Francine’s duplicity, had he known how to. Some things are better left to wondering.

The agreeable crowd subdivides into smaller groups, to sample Braden’s BBQ skills—-and gossip.Related image

Roy looks for that back-forty boulder to hide behind.

Francine is just plain curious, but they are overtaken by the shuffled throng.

“I can’t believe how generous people are. Deke & Gus are so lucky,” Aunt Sassy (from the old country) shakes Roy’s hand like she was trying to bust it loose from his shoulder socket, while eyeing Francine up and down.

“Now Sassy, don’t break his wrist,” insists the senior member of the McKinney relative contingent Savta Inga Bergestrom (from the other old country). “You two look like you are having a wonderful time.”


THE RETURN TRIP

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Episode 99


page 122

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