Undoing Thanksgiving – WIF Holidays

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The Undoing

of

Thanksgiving

… Somewhere ^UP^ There God watches as the United States of America is slowly but surely becoming alarmingly unthankful…

Not long after the Halloween pumpkin candles are extinguished and our children guard their sweet-stash with their lives, the Christmas holiday emerges earlier and earlier each year. Like a premature snowball rolling downhill, “here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, right down [fill in the blank] lane”.

Never mind that December 25th is a annual holiday intended to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. In this case, Santa Claus and his reindeer run over both Grandma and the Son of God.

Another victim of the Christmas season is the foundational act of gratitude, or the purpose of this article, Thanksgiving.

 Drive – Macy’s Parade – Football – Turkey – Mall Shopping – Nap

You can shuffle the order of the above verbs/nouns/activities to suit your own situation.

Feel free to add your own.

Granted… Thanksgiving is still universally celebrated, but more in the line of an excuse for a long weekend and mini-family reunions. My real beef is with the lack of thank you(s) for the provider of our bountiful lives. Thanksgiving was never intended to be a speed-bump  on the way to Christmas; a door-busting deal-of-the-day credit card assault on the closest mall.

But it is.

[To the faithful reader of Writing Is Fun-damental: feel free to include some of what the 1st Pilgrims to America celebrated after the fall harvest… before the coming winter… a huge thank you to a God who provides and protects.]

This is the closest thing that I could pirate from Google Images.

WIF is a globally consumed blog, so this scolding is aimed squarely at The United States of America. For my peeps in Germany, Japan, India Uganda, Australia and the United Kingdom… you know who you are… don’t take offense to this chastisement.

Americans are an arrogant sort, me included. We think the world revolves around us.

Heck, about .002% of us citizen-Americans even bother to be bilingual. It’s the King’s English, or some form of it, or nothing.

If I were better at creating GIF graphics, here is where I would share a picture of the USA w/all the other continents circling it.

I, Gwendolyn Hoff, is hereby thankful to God; for the right to live freely, the skill to put words to “paper”… and the Internet, which connects me to you wonderful people… otherwise impossible for a little known writer from Wisconsin USA, living in NE Illinois.

A little historical refresher from Wikipedia:

Prayers of thanks and special thanksgiving ceremonies are common among almost all religions after harvests and at other times. The Thanksgiving holiday’s history in North America is rooted in English traditions dating from the Protestant Reformation. It also has aspects of a harvest festival, even though the harvest in New England occurs well before the late-November date on which the modern Thanksgiving holiday is celebrated.

In the English tradition, days of thanksgiving and special thanksgiving religious services became important during the English Reformation in the reign of Henry VIII and in reaction to the large number of religious holidays on the Catholic calendar. Before 1536 there were 95 Church holidays, plus 52 Sundays, when people were required to attend church and forego work and sometimes pay for expensive celebrations. The 1536 reforms reduced the number of Church holidays to 27, but some Puritans wished to completely eliminate all Church holidays, including Christmas and Easter. The holidays were to be replaced by specially called Days of Fasting or Days of Thanksgiving, in response to events that the Puritans viewed as acts of special providence.

Pilgrims and Puritans who emigrated from England in the 1620s and 1630s carried the tradition of Days of Fasting and Days of Thanksgiving with them to New England. The modern Thanksgiving holiday tradition is traced to a well-recorded 1619 event in Virginia and a sparsely documented 1621 celebration at Plymouth in present-day Massachusetts.  “That the day of our ships arrival at the place assigned … in the land of Virginia shall be yearly and perpetually kept holy as a day of thanksgiving to Almighty God.” The 1621 Plymouth feast and thanksgiving was prompted by a good harvest.[7][8]

Several days of Thanksgiving were held in early New England history that have been identified as the “First Thanksgiving”, including Pilgrim holidays in Plymouth in 1621 and 1623, and a Puritan holiday in Boston in 1631. According to historian Jeremy Bangs, director of the Leiden American Pilgrim Museum, the Pilgrims may have been influenced by watching the annual services of Thanksgiving for the relief of the siege of Leiden in 1574, while they were staying in Leiden. Now called Oktober Feesten, Leiden’s autumn thanksgiving celebration in 1617 was the occasion for sectarian disturbance that appears to have accelerated the pilgrims’ plans to emigrate to America. Later in Massachusetts, religious thanksgiving services were declared by civil leaders such as Governor Bradford, who planned the colony’s thanksgiving celebration and fast in 1623. The practice of holding an annual harvest festival did not become a regular affair in New England until the late 1660s.

Various proclamations were made by royal governors, John Hancock, General George Washington, and the Continental Congress, each giving thanks to God for events favorable to their causes. As President of the United States, George Washington proclaimed the first nationwide thanksgiving celebration in America marking November 26, 1789, “as a day of public thanksgiving and prayer, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favours of Almighty God”.

My opening calendar graphic is a loose visual of what we celebrate/commemorate after July 4th.

Below is a less serious take on the holiday I will forever be thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

I am thankful for a God who loves us.

I am thankful I’m not a vegetarian.

My Granddaughter Norah is thankful that Mommy doesn’t humiliate her like this.

I did not have this nightmare

I’m the one on the left (NOW I’m dreaming)

“You know you’re a Redneck when you order out KFC.”

“Where did that turkey go?”

My dog Molly would not pose for this


Undoing God from Thanksgiving –

WIF Holidays

Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 95

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Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 95

…There are a number of givens that Pentateuch takes to his cold, cold heart…

“When was the last time we ran from a fight?” asks Constance

“How about that alley behind Doc’s Drugs when we were cornered by that Doberman Pincher…?”

“Other than that damned dog, Fanny!”

“Then we should stick it out for a while, to see how things fall in place and hopefully not fall to pieces,” no Eddie, no joy.

“Chin up there dear Fanny, we will see this thing through.”

Directly on the heels of those positive thoughts, Edie Dombroski emerges from her private isolation, “Eddie made it through surgery! They tell me he has a 65% chance of being his old self again!”

Edie is just happy her hero is alive.

Everyone else is hoping that the near-death experience erases some of those 2,000 stories and perhaps 4 of his shirttail relatives.

A group hug breaks out, unabashed joy replaces doubting despair. For the three women who did not know each other when the sun rose in the east, are now bonding just as it sets beyond the promising western horizon.

Back at Via Catone, Cephus/Spencer/Rogue/Daniels reports back to an already frustrated Pentateuch. Strange and mysterious are the ways of this disreputable despot and how he knew of Canisso/Wolfgram’s unfortunate encounter with nature’s wrath is unsettling.

“A random bolt of lightning? Please! Those measly humans will blame “Mother Nature” for something like that!” This incident only adds to the deep-seated jealousy harbored against the Divine One and his powers. “Alas, poor Canisso.”

“There is no trace of his body.”

“I doubt that he was taken into the heavenlies.” There are a number of givens that Pentateuch takes to his cold, cold heart:

  1. =There is a Heaven
  2. =There is a hell
  3. =He will never be #1

1. “You are going to tell me that, that old woman is still alive,” Period.

2. “You have failed to satisfy your terms of conscription,” True.

3. “I need to replace Canisso,” Fact.

Inadvertent successor or no, Cephus/Daniels has reached his objective without having to whack-a-nun. He will be able to witness World Agnostica Unlimited’s most dire activities and have a hand in FOREVER MASTADON’s day-to-day.

If all goes according to the CIA’s plan, both will crumble from the top down.


Constance Caraway P.I.

Forever Mastadon


page 86

Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 62

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Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 62

Chapter Six

 THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM

Constance Caraway and Fanny Renwick have been at it for 10 days without a break, well, Eddie's Cousins-001except for a hamburger break, but that did not go so well. And those long car rides, Argonne, Elgin, forth and back, an assault on their brains by way of tales. Eddie’s endless experiences make catnapping impossible and then there are his cousins…

While Martin carefully sorts through Willard Libby’s voluminous paper trail, in an attempt not to let one stone unturned, “which is the Hemingway work that shelters the C-14 theorem?” Libby himself is safely tucked away from the wicked, elusive FM and some days away from blowing that looney-bin.

As 1951 replaces 1950, Connie and Fanny treat themselves to several days at the Palmer House Hotel.

Having the luxury of having their own personal driver certainly makes this off-the-books escapade easier, without having to fight tooth and nail among the morass of people competing for the same rare taxi cab. To his credit, Eddie knows Chicago’s Loop better than any other Checker jockey, foreign or domestic; Eddie speaks English, well his version of it and is a good driver, ‘I ain’t run over no old lady for years,’ he will brag.

The Loop: defined by streets Wells, Wabash, Lake and VanBuren, is pretty much the cultural centre of the Midwestern America. CCPI’s two girl team will endeavor to take in as much of the potentially lethal female combination of shopping and chocolate.

Frango Mints, chocolate truffles sold at Marshall Fields Department Stores, are an early discovery on a leisurely stroll down State Street, but this prominent purveyor of plentiful profligacy actually serves as a double dip; confectionery treats and shoes for feets – sweets for the tummy plus new outfits from head to toe for a night out.


Constance Caraway P.I.

Forever Mastadon


page 59

 

The NULL Solution = Episode 138

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The NULL Solution = Episode 138

…Our military is to blame, got the bright idea to attach bombs to a remote-control plane…

The sound of tablas, tamburs, ghichaks, and rubabs echo throughout the Crippen family room. Not one soul can belly-dance a lick, though Mindy and Marscie join in regardless of skill level. Before long, everyone is in the spirit.

The decibel level is just loud enough to drown out the sound of a passing drone, not that patrol drones are unheard of here, just not in the evening.

During her heyday, Fatima Afridi had avoided death threats on her harrowing overland trip to Istanbul. She endured Florida Panhandle culture shock in her efforts to blend in. She has successfully in raised 2 beautiful and smart daughters, all the while supporting her Aldona.

Her sweet loving and important husband has made it to 75, when he had cheated death 30 years earlier… Back then he swam to safety amid a hail of gunfire and rode The New Orient  Express to Paris.

Today he dances.

The dancing stops when a ground shaking thud staggers the party, rocking the knick-knacks and trophies off their perches. Many a strange noise can be heard around these parts these days, but none like this.

“You take the four-wheeler Fitch, I’ll bring the Hummer,” Roy leaps to action.

They arrive to find a smoldering crater where the Fitch house used to be.

 Gus McKinney has finished his book collection, moving on to streaming 1 of the 120 old-time movies he brought along for the trip when Roy interrupts him with news from Texas Earth.

“I was just watching Murder on the Orient Express, a classic 1974 British mystery film. Spoiler alert: everyone on the train is guilty.”

“How ironic is that? Afridi took that train to meet his wife in ’29 or ’30,” reflects Roy with depressed undertones.

“Yeah, I can’t wait to see the old bugger… less than a month now you know.”

It is time for cold hard facts. “Fatima is dead.”

As if prolonged space travel doesn’t make you pale enough. The loss of a family friend leaves Gus speechless.

“The bastards must have found out where he was living, bombed his house… the rest of the family was at our house celebrating his birthday.”

“Did you catch ‘em?”

“It was a damned drone, snuck in under the no-fly defenses!”

“The inventor of the remote control should be losing sleep right about now.”

“I have a feeling that Nikola Tesla died with a clear conscience. Our military is to blame, got the bright idea to attach bombs to a remote-control plane.”

“How is Fletcher taking it?”

“His life is a pile of smoldering rubble. He will be staying in your room until you get back, that’s if he ever leaves GLF. He’s working on that global defense stuff, which by the way is hush-hush. I had to quash an amateur stargazer pic of that alien ship the other day. The planet would be up for grabs if that leaks out, for all the chicken littles to see.”

“We’ve been watching it in our rearview mirror. That ain’t no ordinary spacecraft.”

“Damn straight! You better have Stanley step on the gas,” even though they are already maxed out.


The NULL Solution =

Episode 138


page 136

The NULL Solution = Episode 137

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The NULL Solution = Episode 137

…On a remote corner of King Ranch is an undistinguished home, 7/8ths of which is below grade, facing eastward and has prairie grass and cacti for a roof…

Over in the purported Mr. Lorgan’s Neighborhood, silent preparations are being made for Collapsar Axis’ arrival. Fletcher Fitch has been assigned the task of his long life; install the global force field that the inventor-race-deluxe, Seljuk bestowed upon them. While he is at it, beef up the disruptor array aboard SEx.

Fitch was the scientific whistleblower who exposed the United Korean Peninsula for the Space Colony 1 destroyers that they were. That they were in league with his country of Talibanistan made him a marked man for decades to come. What he does not know, is that there is still a hefty price on his head and fortune hunters out there willing to pursue the bounty.

Texas Sunrise | by DustDevilDiver (Briley Mitchell)

On a remote corner of King Ranch is an undistinguished home, 7/8ths of which is below grade, facing eastward. It has prairie grass and cacti for a roof. It has sheltered the traitor/scientist for many Texas sunrises and provided a haven for his wife and two daughters. The daughters had departed the underground nest years ago, leaving Fatima and the former Aldona Afridi to live out the rest of their lives. Once you are a friend of the Crippens, always a friend.

Up until now, his association with Galveston Launch Facility was viewed as benign. He is just one of a thousand other geek-types that work there… until he was recognized by the single “looter” who managed to elude death the other night. It seems that King Ranch booty may have been secondary to a greater Muslim cause.

It turns out that rogue goon-squad fishing expedition has accidentally spotted a Big Fitch.

But this Fitch is heedless in respect to any danger. He is flush with the excitement, like a kid in a candy store. Molecular stabilizers, force fields and disruptor arrays replace sugar plums and squirt guns. He is on top of the cutting edge technology pile and he relishes the view.

And his daughters have returned to the nest to help celebrate science, in addition to his 75th birthday. With life expectancies exceeding 100, his ¾ share of life {26 clear of his ties to Talibanistan} is well-worth celebrating. But a glitch in the ranch power grid has forced the party to move to Crippen/McKinney territory. However, Francine and Mindy’s culinary skills are lacking when it comes to Near-East cuisine, so Fatima must ferry his favorite foods from a mile away.

“Where is Fatima? I swear that woman doesn’t sit still for one minute!”

“She went back for the Harissa, forgot it in the blackout, back on the counter.” The dish made from semolina is a treat from the old days, unknown to local restaurateurs. Fletcher seldom asks for anything Arab. “Come dance with me my daughters!”


The NULL Solution =

Image result for arab dance gif

Episode 137


page 135

The NULL Solution = Episode 56

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The NULL Solution = Episode 56

…Mamma Celeste McKinney never requires much of an excuse to hang around those crazy kids…

“I am not feeling well.” Ordinarily that isn’t a problem. But this is spoken by an Eridanian, specifically from Cerella who never complains about anything. She directs her concern in the direction of Deimostra McKinney, the closest thing to a contemporary she has on Eridanus.

“You haven’t been eating Deke’s cooking have you?”

“I have, but I am used to that.”

“You didn’t get too close to Skaldic? You don’t want one of those nasty viruses from a Null, right?” The 1st Earthchildofspace is being sarcastic.

“No Null contact.”

“I don’t have a clue and seeing there are no real doctors here, I’m going to ask my mother.”

Mamma Celeste never requires much of an excuse to hang around those crazy kids.

“You do look a little worn down Cerella. Have you been taxing your mind lately?”

“A tax is a form of monetary penalty. I do not see the relativity.”

“Okay, my mistake. I thought the Earth colloquialisms had left me.”

“Sammy Mac has them all.”

“So true,” for no other reason she puts her hand on the place a human stomach would be. A pleasing vibration emanates to her palm, in the key of A. “I don’t know much about Eridanian physiology, but I’m detecting something “extra” inside you.”

For all the perceptiveness at her disposal, the patient doesn’t get the “extra” reference.

Related imageAfter exchanging quick forth & back glances, Celeste and Deimostra start dancing around like they have ants in their pants. There are no ants on Eridanus, but there is one pregnant Princess.

For those in the know, there are few secrets on this world. Deke takes the news right from the top of his blood relatives’ thoughts. His wife is pregnant with an intergalactic reproductive miracle. This is not a run-of-the-mill ordinary new life brewing.

 

Back on Earth

“What are you smiling about all of a sudden?”

Prez Roy sees no reason for Gus’ suddenly unexpected joyous countenance.

“I don’t know, something just came over me.”


The NULL Solution =

Episode 56


page 59

A Space Family Thanksgiving = Earth/Eridanus Part 2

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A Space Family Thanksgiving = Earth/Eridanus Part 2

…They gather together to ask the Lord’s blessing…

Strictly coincidental {we think}and a day off in the Stardate of 2052.91, the Space Family contingent out on Eridanus in the Epsilon Eridani star system {as seen from their home planet in the constellation Orion’s Belt}, they too have fashioned a Thanksgiving feast – as near as possible that is.

Like many of the holidays those wacky Earthlings celebrate, it is mostly lost on the Eridanians. But doesn’t stop Sammy Mac from including his in-laws, Ekcello & Fortan {if she were not in a state of suspended animation}, in the festivities.

Much has happened in the last Earth year {yet to be reconnoitered with an Eridanian Cycle}. Though separated by 10 light years, the McKinneys have had contact with Crip and Gus, somewhere around “home” and that is ample reason to be thankful.

Ekcello should be thankful for having snapped out of his temporary funk, even though the rest of conscious Eridanus is dominated by the Null.

Skaldic the Null is invited as well & appreciates much. “Skaldy” as Sampson refers to him, has embraced each & every solitary slice of life ever since his rise to Eridanus prominence. His contribution to this day is one of the few wild animals on the planet {far Null side}, a nasty predator that when properly prepared tastes like chicken {what?}

Deimostra has thoroughly researched the Thanksgiving holiday and has made the proper connection between man-alien and the God of the Great Expanse.

“I am thankful for Ekcello for making us feel at home – to Skaldic for providing the protein for our meal…”

“Real meat!” her father interjects.

“… and for the hope of perhaps seeing Earth for the first time in person and meeting my brother Gus.”

Celeste McKinney has had firsthand experience with seeing Earthly-loved-ones by way of hyperphysical transmigration and hugs the 1st child of space for all she’s worth.

As a group, the Space Family McKinney has a laundry list of gratitude:

Deke McKinney gives the blessing, “Thank you Dear Lord for my wonderful family, our hosts here on Eridanus… and is that you inside   ⃝      ?

On a planet where music is king, they sing:


A Space Family Thanksgiving =

Earth/Eridanus Part 2