Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 132

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Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 132

  …The devil with a sense of irony, not today…

Pentateuch has been sitting on his hot little hands for far too long. The more time he spends away from either, his eternal domain the Lake of Fire or his only respite the earthly cooling stations, the less comfortable it is for him. Such is the life of a demon’s demon.

In the case of his tryst with L. Dick Cannon, the former Science Fiction writer, he dare not show his hand. Otherwise, this human with demagoguery on his brain, might be nudged deep into another fantasy world, should he suspect Pent’s pedigree. So far so good, although Cannon has asked about the smell of burnt hair, whenever he and the wily Mr. Winters meet.

“What can you tell me about this Orson Wells? Is he willing to be a celebrity spokesperson for our new church?”

“He says that he enjoys a good story, but religion of any flavor leaves a bad taste in his mouth.”

“That is not a positive reaction.”

 Music from Dario Russo

“He also tells me that he cannot afford to have anything distract him from his career. Things are going “Wells” for him.”

The devil with a sense of irony? Not today.

“Career, I have a mind to put him in his place,” Pentateuch/Winters is annoyed by his continued ineffectiveness. It is hard to believe that a megalomaniac like him can suffer a crisis of confidence. “Keep your eyes peeled for another potential movie star type, could even be a female temptress with a seductive personality. We need people; I mean millions of them to believe in what you’re selling them. We need to get this off the ground, with a more credible client base.”


Constance Caraway P.I.

Forever Mastadon


page 115

Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 101

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Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 101

…we can call it the Church of Spiritual Engineering

“I have decided to start my own church,” Pentateuch comes to the realization that people long for a place where like-minds gather, as he thinks to himself. The Christian movements seem to have a church on about every block for the sole purpose of honoring their God, so why not spawn a self-affirming organization to serve those who worship nothing but themselves. This is the originating rationale he uses as a foundation for his newest plan.

Jealous and in desperate need of atheist reinforcement, he has targeted the perfect front man for that church and he appears to him at the Laguna Beach Yacht Club, where the man is working just to stay afloat, so-to-speak. Pentateuch passes himself off as a wealthy business-type, an alleged follower of this cult-ish personality, expounding on that very subject of founding that existential church, “You are just the man to give the people what they long for… a church that only makes them feel good.”

“I have wanted to do that for years, but lack universal support,”

“I know,” confirms Pentateuch to the man seated across from him, one Langston Richard Cannon, whom he has been keeping track of ever since the man wrote what he called “THE book” and then throughout his failed military career; an ongoing string of disappointments. They had an encounter during his Navy days in that Great War, but Cannon was so myopic that he did not realize that he had met the devil, yet he impressed the Dark Deceptor with his delusional ways of viewing the world. “You need a proper platform from which to spread your revolutionary ideas.”

dianetics“You must be familiar with what I call Dianetics. I am sorry; did I get your name?”

“Winters, P. Joseph Winters and I am impressed with your vision.”

“Some are calling it sacrilegious, but I call it a milestone for man, comparable to the discovery of fire and superior to the invention of the wheel. My new book is selling thousands of copies a week, but there are still those that doubt.”

“With my help, we can start a church for your followers; we can call it The Church of Spiritual Engineering.”

“Brilliant, that is close to what I was thinking: Church of Scientology, but we can go with yours to start out.” He likes that Winters/Pentateuch is eating his stuff up. “The human brain records every experience and event, even when unconscious. I can clear away the bad and painful ones by a process I call “auditing”, thus freeing the mind to attain higher IQs and enhanced memorization.”

“And what is your opinion on the position of the so-called Christian churches?”

“Are you talking about God? What utter nonsense and waste of a perfectly good life!  L. Dick Cannon, will free them from that form of spiritual slavery.”

“Perfect,” the Great Deception adds another living statue to his hall-of-shame.


Constance Caraway P.I.

Forever Mastadon


page 91