Alpha Omega M.D. – Episode #147

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Alpha Omega M.D. – Episode #147

…I hope Susan B. Anthony is waiting for you in the lobby – that would fix your wagon!

“Has Beacon Hill copyrighted the name, Pearson-Eastman Journal?” asks Abbey in typically pointed fashion.

“Well, no, we have been swamped with the addition of Herbert Love to the limited partnership. It’s not like merely adding a name to a document you know,” James dares to clarify.

“If they do not have patent rights to their name, the first issue is fair game for plagiarism, or even worse, another magazine stealing their format ideas.”

“Yes,” he concedes, “I see your point. Sometimes even the senior partners lose track of details, seeing that we have over a one hundred clients that I am aware of. Not the least of them is J.P. Morgan’s scheme to freeze John D. Rockefeller out of the steel business.”

“I guess that makes George Eastman chopped liver?”

“No, but he is a silent partner. Judith is the Eastman in the lead.”

“Perhaps when women gain the right to vote, we’ll get some respect,” Abbeys states emphatically.

“Well, I respect you, honey bunch.” Oops.

“You can take your honey bunch and put it in the cellar next to the old potatoes. When men have the nerve to respect women outside the walls of the home, then and only then will God be glorified and true equality happening for all.”

“I must take my leave Hon…uh, Abbey. The office is expecting me.”

“Coward! I hope Susan B. Anthony is waiting for you in the lobby – that would fix your wagon!

  “I heard she is in a sanatorium, old and crazy I suspect.”

   He should have kept walking.

   “You best stop at the diner on your way home.”

    “What?”

     “And you will find your bed-things on the sofa. It will give you time to ponder women’s suffrage.”

This time he moves through the door without clever commentary. The doghouse is a lonely place.


Alpha Omega M.D.

Episode #147


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April Fools’ Day Facts

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April Fools’ Day

Color Me

(Sometimes called April Fool’s Day or All Fools’ Day) is celebrated every year on the first day of April as a day when people play practical jokes and hoaxes on each other. The jokes and their victims are known as “April fools”. Hoax stories may be reported by the press and other media on this day and explained on subsequent days. Popular since the 19th century, the day is not a national holiday in any country, but it is well known in India, Canada, Europe, Australia, Brazil and the United States.

The earliest recorded association between 1 April and foolishness can be found in Geoffrey Chaucer‘s The Canterbury Tales (1392). Some writers suggest that the restoration of 1 January as New Year’s Day in the 16th century was responsible for the creation of the holiday, but this theory does not explain earlier references.

Origins

The custom of setting aside a day for the playing of harmless pranks upon one’s neighbor is recognized everywhere. Some precursors of April Fools’ Day include the Roman festival of Hilaria, the Holi festival of India, and the Medieval Feast of Fools.

In Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales (1392), the “Nun’s Priest’s Tale” is set Syn March bigan thritty dayes and two. Modern scholars believe that there is a copying error in the extant manuscripts and that Chaucer actually wrote,Syn March was gon. Thus the passage originally meant 32 days after March, i.e. 2 May, the anniversary of the engagement of King Richard II of England to Anne of Bohemia, which took place in 1381. Readers apparently misunderstood this line to mean “32 March”, i.e. 1 April. In Chaucer’s tale, the vain cock Chauntecleer is tricked by a fox.

In 1508, French poet Eloy d’Amerval referred to a poisson d’avril (April fool, literally “April fish”), a possible reference to the holiday. In 1539, Flemish poet Eduard de Dene wrote of a nobleman who sent his servants on foolish errands on 1 April. In 1686, John Aubrey referred to the holiday as “Fooles holy day“, the first British reference. On 1 April 1698, several people were tricked into going to the Tower of London to “see the Lions washed”.

In the Middle Ages, New Year’s Day was celebrated on 25 March in most European towns. In some areas of France, New Year’s was a week-long holiday ending on 1 April. Some writers suggest that April Fools’ originated because those who celebrated on 1 January made fun of those who celebrated on other dates. The use of 1 January as New Year’s Day was common in France by the mid-16th century, and this date was adopted officially in 1564 by the Edict of Roussillon.

Reception

The practice of April Fool pranks and hoaxes is controversial. The mixed opinions of critics are epitomized in the reception to the 1957 BBC “Spaghetti-tree hoax“, in reference to which, newspapers were split over whether it was “a great joke or a terrible hoax on the public”.

The positive view is that April Fools’ can be good for one’s health because it encourages “jokes, hoaxes…pranks, [and] belly laughs”, and brings all the benefits of laughter including stress relief and reducing strain on the heart. There are many “best of” April Fools’ Day lists that are compiled in order to showcase the best examples of how the holiday is celebrated. Various April Fools’ campaigns have been praised for their innovation, creativity, writing, and general effort – especially those from the major corporations such as Google and Apple.

The negative view describes April Fools’ hoaxes as “creepy and manipulative”, “rude” and “a little bit nasty”, as well as based on schadenfreude and deceit. When genuine news is published on April Fools’ Day, it is occasionally misinterpreted as a joke—for example, when Google, known to play elaborate April Fools’ Day hoaxes, announced the launch of Gmail with 1-gigabyte inboxes in 2004, an era when competing webmail services offered 4 MB or less, many dismissed it as a joke outright. On the other hand, sometimes stories intended as jokes are taken seriously. Either way, there can be adverse effects, such as confusion,misinformation, waste of resources (especially when the hoax concerns people in danger), and even legal or commercial consequences.


April Fools’ Day Facts

Holidays-001

WIF Holidays

Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Appendix B

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Constance Caraway P.I.

APPENDIX B

LIBBYITE NOMINATION FORM

Contact Information

Name or Nickname
Street Address
City State
Home Phone
Work Phone
Emergency Contact

Availability

During which hours are you available?

Weekday mornings Weekend mornings
Weekday afternoons Weekend afternoons
Weekday evenings ON CALL 24 HRS/365 DAYS (recommended)

Volunteer Opportunities

Tell us in which areas you are interested in volunteering

Libby Security
Scientific Support
Monastery Grounds Care
Carriage Driving & Horse Groom
___ Exorcism and Demonic Spells
Billy Graham Evangelistic Phone Bank
Stewardess for The Blue Ridge Angel
Libbyite Lifetime Membership Recruitment

Special Skills or Qualifications for Combating evil

Summarize special skills and qualifications, i.e. Integrity, Character, and Courage.

Previous Evangelistic Experience

Summarize your previous experience with spreading THE WORD of GOD.

Qualifying Libbyite Quiz

**What is the name of the Village Willard Libby lives in?
**What is the name of the nurse who took care of W.L. at Elgin State Hospital?
**How is Sister Mary Joseph related to him?
**Name the university he works for:
**What is the Atomic Number for carbon?
**Definition of the word “catatonic”:

Agreement and Signature

Do you the undersigned agree to uphold the science behind Radiocarbon Dating, its principles and outcomes, while acknowledging that the Universe is a divine creation, not some big-bang tub of primordial goo that came together by accident?

Name (printed)
Signature
Date

Libbyite Inclusion Policy

It is the policy of this organization to provide equal opportunities without regard to race, color, national origin, gender, sexual preference, age, disability or religion (unless you are an atheist, in which case: TOUGH LUCK!)

Thank you for completing this application form and for your interest in joining the Cause for Creation.


Constance Caraway P.I.

Forever Mastadon


Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 239

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Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 239

…Willard Libby and Billy Graham, the scientist and the evangelist, tie a bow around  an event of Godly proportions…

A few backstage moments…

“Awards and accolades are great, but that is not what I set out to obtain when I hijacked Martin’s C-14 and took it one step further. Without carbon as a stable, consistent isotope, the rest of the puzzle is just so many oddly shaped pieces. With it, I got lucky and guessed the age of a mummy, one that already identified and verified and was able to guess his (or her) age within 50 years. And yes there are going to be tweaks to the half-life down the road and there will be those that insist on blasting the outside limit past twenty thousand, but I have the numbers on my side.”

Nobel, Nobel, Nobel!” the chant rises among the gathered Libbyites.

“My cousin Syl was up for the Nobel Prize in 1909 for……,” peanut gallery member Eddie stops short of slandering himself.

“In the category of literature, the N-O-B-L-E prize for fiction goes to Eddie “50 Cousins” Dombroski,” mocks Ace Bannion, expressing what others are thinking, but would not say.

Constance has been there for most, if not all of the Cousin stories. “I encourage you to start making detailed notes about your 1st and 2nd removed family, put those stories down on paper. I have two friends who can help you with that,” she refers to Carolyn Hanes of Tallahassee and that wordsmith by the name of Gwenny.”(wink)

“That is a wonderful suggestion Constance,” adds Billy Graham, among the group that is finding it hard to split up, considering what they have gone through. “I feel I need to clarify a few things. Clarify? No, perhaps just add my perspective on things.

“Our God picks his fights judiciously. In recent history, seldom has the world experienced his supernatural power first hand and if they have, HE is not given credit for it. On this day, we and 50,000 or so of our newest friends (and millions we don’t even know) have witnessed the Creator taking charge of an important moment, a blink of his eye, but a turning point for this generation of believers.

“The entire world went dark tonight. If only for a few fleeting seconds, he silenced this planet to take care of His business, there is no other explanation except God and He knows-we know it.”


Constance Caraway P.I.

when the world went dark

Forever Mastadon


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Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 213

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Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 213

…”You can certainly count on me!” – Ready, willing & evil…

Ready & Evil-001

Comiskey Concession-001

“I like you Winters, a real go-getter you are,” the director of concessions for Comiskey Park has identified our villain as a key employee (or the only one to volunteer to do something that isn’t on commission). “That event on the 28th, the one with all those teetotalers, well they need 350 gallons of wine of all things. We will be handing out 45,000 1oz. servings of Manischewitz and I – would like you to be in charge of that.”

“You can certainly count on me!” -Ready, willing & evil.

“Great, I thought I could count on you – you will need to fill, seal and be able to distribute every one of those portions in 15 minutes – that will take a miracle!”

“How do we collect the money?” Winters/Penty is playing dumb. Hell, if churches charged cash money for Communion wine, there would be significantly fewer churchgoers, the ultimate result/goal in his wicked world.

“You’re a  funny dog,  Winters! When exactly was the last time you were in a church,” implying that he didn’t have a clue about lightning striking when he enters a place of worship.

“I don’t believe in going to church. I have better things to do with my Sundays.”

“Wow, at least I’m a two-timer.”

“You cheat on your wife? Great – I mean that’s a shame – You don’t look like the type.”

“No stupid, I go to church at Christmas and Easter, hence two-timer, get it?”

Angry

“I’ll do the job, but never call me stupid again,” he states. ‘I can back up my threats you ignorant human,’ goes unstated.

His poor soak “boss” has no idea what this greasy guy is up to.


Constance Caraway P.I.

Forever Mastadon


page 179

Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 141

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Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 141

…After narrowly escaping a fiery end, Agent Daniels decides to pull a fast-one on Constance…

Mimi and Eunice

Humor is a subjective form of expression. Something that seems hilarious to one person may be dull and offensive to another.

Scene board-001Martin Kamen and Agent Daniels hatch a plan that will garner an unknown reaction from Constance Caraway, who has also been known to do the unexpected for effect. To add insult to injury, they recruit Ajax Bannion who, when Daniels tells him of the gag, “Count me in. She’s upstairs taking a bath, but she should be down soon. She has been a real basket case ever since you guys left.”

So the scene is set, preloaded to have Agent Daniels sitting on the front room sofa with Ace. They portray a somber mood befitting the loss of a compatriot. When Connie comes downstairs, in her pink chenille robe, sopping wet hair piled atop her head bound by a towel, she is taken aback by the presence of someone other than Ace (and the elusive William, but he doesn’t count) in the house. That she is clothed at all is a good thing.

“You’re back!” Her excitement is tempered by one person, who is conspicuous by his absence. “Did he take the bait…?” she asks pensively.

The two men react not to her, continuing to discuss things as though they don’t hear her.

“Where is Martin?”

Daniels rises to his feet, his black trench coat wreaking of smoke and faced stained by soot. “There was a fire… poor Martin didn’t have a chance.”

A million thoughts flood her imagination, not the least of which is grief. What went wrong? The plan was rock-solid. No one was going to get hurt. She plops into a chair, glaring at Daniels like he has managed to behead her favorite doll. “Why do we continue the fight: kidnapping, shootings, suicide and now a fire? Maybe we’re overmatched, when one side is a nearly invisible bastard with unearthly power. I think you can take it from here Daniels, or whatever damned names you’re using today—–“

“Is Eliot Ness taken?” Daniels blurts in gut reaction to Constance’s rant.

“Great, a f*****g comedian, just what we need,” she only swears when there is no end to the rope.


Constance Caraway P.I.

Forever Mastadon


page 123

Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 126

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Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 126

…“No, my mom was a big fan of that newest cleanser at the time, AJAX…

“And how about that girl of yours, she has been a real treat!” Willard Libby is a big fan.

“Like cotton candy in a cavity,” Ace attempts to head off her reaction to the scientist’s use of a possessive pronoun.

Too late, “I belong to no one, certainly not to someone who pretends I don’t exist for years at a time and then compares me to tooth decay.”

“Hey kids, it is my fault for making a false assumption,” intellectually speaking, “but I would be thrilled for you Connie, if it were true.”

She softens her knee-jerk reaction, “Ace and I have had some good times.”

“Then let’s raise a toast to more good times,” the sound of clinking glasses to the brim with Italian Nebbiolo fills the university basement hideaway.

“To good times,” Martin, Constance and Ace respond in unison. The newcomer is blending in quite well; the men are taken by his dynamic presence.

“Ace: That is quite a name. Is that your given name?” helplessly inquiring minds need to know.

“No my mother named me Ajax Aidan Bannion. Can you blame me for changing it?”

“Did she name you after the muscular mythical hero of the Trojan war?” educated people ask smart questions.

“No, mom was a big fan of that new cleaner AJAX.” He was kidding.

“STRONGER THAN DIRT!!!!!!” Constance makes an arm muscle, while singing the familiar advertising slogan. “Hey buddy, you really did need another syllable anyway; ‘Ajax Bannion, he can clean up the mess you make’.”

“Boy, I am going to regret letting that cat out of the bag,” he takes it like a man. “But can we not use that name in public?”

“Sure, but if you’re late for dinner I’m going to say, ‘Ajax Aidan Bannion, you better stop what you are doing and come inside’.”

His secret is safe… maybe.


 Constance Caraway P.I.

Forever Mastadon


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