Laborious Puns #22

Leave a comment

Laborious Puns #22

“No man needs sympathy because he has to work, because he has a burden to carry. Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.”

Labor Day is a good time to stop and reflect on the august events the the preceding month.

Image result for august to september

Bringing a baby into the world is labor of love.

Image result for childbirth

 

He labored so hard that he worked his fingers to the bonus.

Image result for bonus

In some places there is a lot of Manuel labor for every Juan.

In some countries there is a lot of Manuel labor.

 

They used to experiment on dogs called laboratory retrievers.

A woman union leader who was pregnant had labor pains and then a striking baby.

 

At a company where they dig for gold a labor dispute is a miner problem where no one wants to get the shaft.


Laborious Puns

pun-catalog-001

#22

THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 259

Leave a comment

THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 259

…Celeste uses her new psychic skills to accurately predict the near future, “We are about to have a guest…

Image result for psychic gif

Their first glimpse of John Q. Eridanian, other than the exceptionally humanoid Cerella, comes while on the way to some McKinney family-space. Deke & Gus try not to stare, but subtle double-takes take place from on either side of the alien fence.

“They aren’t all that different than us,” Deke admits in the privacy of the family lodging.

“If you disregard the fact that their feet don’t touch the ground, then yeah.” Gus adds.

“Most of their physiological dissimilarities are organ related,” Celeste tells them. “The greatest difference is inside their minds. They communicate telepathically, although when they chose to verbalize, it is musical in nature.”

“Yes I picked up on that music stuff, but none of the telepathy.” Gus proves he is the real Gus and a McKinney male blockhead to the core. “You sure seem to have it down Mom… and all that time-bending too!”

Celeste uses her skills to accurately predict the near future, “We are about to have a guest.”

Whoooosh, on cue and never looking more striking, Cerella glides in, after doing the intuitive equivalent of knocking.–

Related image{In cartoons, when a cartoonist wants to illustrate what love looks like, he may draw hearts for eyes. And love Isn’t  just in the movies.}

Having had time to digest their first encounter, Deke taking note of this native princess, who has had enigmatic feelings for him ever since seeing this wayward McKinney passed out and vulnerable on the other end of The Milky Way.

In the moment, the others in the room do not exist.

#My name is Cerella, heiress to the High Counsel of Eridanus#

“I believe we met “out there somewhere”,” he recalls.  {not “Somewhere Out There”}

She speaks to Deke alone, who takes her hand and kisses it gently, like it may fall off in his hand.


THE RETURN TRIP

Episode 259


page 302

Contents TRT

THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 258

Leave a comment

THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 258

…May I say that you don’t look a day over….well you look younger than that…

Deimostra takes her turn as tour guide inside the Newfoundlander, “This is the room I was born in.”

Gradually more comfortable with the improbable idea of having a sister, Gus misunderstands, asking a question that could have been better thought out, “Does that mean that you were conceived down here?”

Celeste hears this and yanks him back unceremoniously, “Come on Gus, you talk to her like she is a “thing”.”

“I was born on the Fourth of July, stardate 2031.” Any insensitivity blows right past her.

Gus sheepishly affirms, “Wow, Independence Day, can you imagine that.”

Deke goes in a different direction. “That means that Sis was conceived on the way to Mars!?”

Celeste cuts in. “All right then Deke. We will discuss the details later.”

He does not stop at that.

“The last “stardate” I remember is 2051 Deimostra, that would make you twenty-years-old. May I say that you don’t look a day over….well you look younger than that.”

“Call me Sammy, Deke, Daddy does.” Again meaningless details do not affect her.

“Deke McKinney, cease and desist! Let’s just become a family again,” Mom pleads.

Gus cannot resist one last qualifying, identity verifying question.

“Where were the 2030 Winter Olympics held Dad?”

“Who cares about the Olympics Gus, the damned Astros lost the World Series to the damned Japanese team in the American League Championship Series.”

“Yep, these here McKinneys are the real thing!”

“What is the world series?” Sammy asks.

“We will discuss all that, along with the other stuff we aren’t supposed to, later.” Gus corrals his sister and hugs the Errordannias out of her.

Their first glimpse of John Q. Eridanian, other than the exceptionally humanoid Cerella, comes while on the way to some McKinney family space. Deke & Gus try not to stare, but subtle double-takes take place from on either side of the alien fence. The ho-hum-ness of this chance passing goes far in assuring the new visitors, that not only are they accepted , they were also expected.


THE RETURN TRIP

Find the Differences

Episode 258


page 301

Contents TRT

Sunny Puns Eclipse Edition

Leave a comment

 

Sunny Puns Eclipse Edition

Occasionally in the Caribbean there’s a total calypso the sun.

Image result for calypso

I noticed that the sun was out, and nobody had bothered to relight it.

The star asked the sun why the moon was always up so late. Sun responded that it was just a phase.

Image result for moon phases

Scientists studying the sun have a flare for research.

Image result for solar flare

You should put on more sun tan lotion in order to save face.

Image result for suntan lotion

Chicken Little, the sky is falling


Sunny Puns

pun-catalog-001

Eclipse Edition

“We The People of the Superior States of North America”

1 Comment

 “We The People

of the Superior States

of North America”

“Hereby secede from The United States of America.”

Superior States of North America

Solemn Declaration:

Let it not be said that disaffected citizens of an existing nation cannot band together, in their like-mindedness, and create a land that is established with the blessing of God, to live together without beholding to a government which insists on ignoring the majority in favor of a raucous and gaudy minority.

  • We do not enter into this union lightly or without regard to its obligation to the greater community of the planet Earth.
  • We stand on the Word of God and adhere to its Superior guidance.
  • We are people of good moral standing, who treat all as equal under the sun and expect the best from ourselves.
  • We take complete and total responsibility for our actions, whether as individuals or together.
  • We shall defend our borders with fervor, respectful of our neighbors (Canada) to the North and (United States of America) to the South.

We the citizens of Superior States of North America hereby reject:

  • The blatant ignorance of the Constitution of the United States of America on which the country was established, but has been trampled upon by those currently in power.
  • The aggressive suppression of religious freedom as previously contracted by the Founding Fathers.
  • The inability to enforce the laws of the land as set forth by previous members of the United States’ Congresses.
  • The notion that “political correctness” takes precedence over common sense.
  • The Tax Code has become the personal toy of the Economic Elite, thereby creating an unsatisfactory disparity among the very rich and the very poor.

Within the Superior States of North America:

  • Sound moral code will rule the day
  • Compassion  will rule the day
  • Common Sense will rule the day
  • From each according to his ability, to each according to his need
  • The One True God will rule His people

*DISCLAIMER*

“I was temporarily insane and disillusioned at the time.”

This is a postulate set forth by the goals & aspirations of Gwendolyn Hoff and her alone, with the hope of inspiring like-minded people to action. She is not a card-carrying member of the Tea Party and does not endorse continued participation as citizens of the United States of America.

The map as shown is subject to the approval by referendum by the entire individual states of Wisconsin, Minnesota, Iowa, North & South Dakota, Idaho and Montana. It is also subject to the approval by referendum of counties bordering the following states, Michigan, Illinois and Wyoming.

“If you believe in this cause, get a hold of me & we will talk.”

Gwenny

Gwenny


We The People of the Superior States

of North America


 

Puns 4 (Four) Fun #36 – WIF Wit and Humor

Leave a comment

Puns 4 (Four) Fun

 

On Independence day, may the fourth be with you. (sorry)

Fifth columnists of the fourth estate rated third grade, play a second fiddle to conspirators with their first-hand information!

Image result for 5 4 3 2 1 gif

What happened to the rich guy with the double chin? He made a four chin.

 

A crow is a four-letter bird.

Related image

The quadruplets were always wandering off. It was a four-gone conclusion.

He bought a plate with four corners so he could have a square meal.

Golfers would wear wrinkled clothes if it weren’t four irons.

Image result for golfer clip art

Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident and called from the hospital about the four casts.

Image result for accident clipart

College bread is a four-year loaf made out of the old man’s dough.


Puns 4 (Four) Fun #36

– WIF Wit and Humor

THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 192

Leave a comment

THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 192

…“Well it seems sweet Miss Susannah Grisbaum is a senior at Carlsbad High, but what she has failed to disclose is that she is 15 going on trouble.”…

After Roy’s policy speech, with that state of Utopia pending, can reality be far behind…? Francine attempts to vet Deke’s date to the Rising Star Dance.

“What do you know about Deke’s date?”

“She’s pretty,” which pretty much sums up Braden King’s in-depth analysis, “Susannah is her name.”

“Does she have a last name BK?” Francine has been left to do the dirt-digging work.

“I believe it is Greasebomb or some odd name like that, a senior at some high school in New Mexico… you know that state just west of here?”

“Do you know the name of the junior Congressman from New Mexico?”

“That isn’t fair, I’m not sure I know OUR Congressman if I met him on the street.”

“It’s not Greasebomb, but you’re close; Hector Grisbaum, a Dem from Carlsbad.”

“Beautiful country out there, have done some quail hunting out at Antelope Ridge.”

“Well it seems sweet Miss Susannah Grisbaum is a senior at Carlsbad High, but what she has failed to disclose is that she is 15 going on trouble.” It seems she skipped 2 grade levels.

“Wow, she is well developed for…”

“Braden!”

“Say, didn’t they invent the Grease Bomb at Alamogordo New Mexico?”

“Braden…..please focus! I want you to insist that they come back to our house after the dance and keep Gus out of their hair.”

“Don’t you trust Deke?”

“Deke I trust, Susannah not so much. Congressman Grisbaum is President Sanchez’ biggest ally on Capitol Hill and he is stumping with Freelove as we speak.” Francine is assuming the worst. “And make sure all the security cameras are working, inside and out.”

“Why not just tell Deke he can’t date Susannah, it’s not like he doesn’t have half the girls in the country mooning over him?” BK dates himself nearly every time he speaks.

“Mooning?” She shakes her head. “How is it you are still single?”


THE RETURN TRIP

Episode 192


page 230

Contents TRT