THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 192

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 192

…“Well it seems sweet Miss Susannah Grisbaum is a senior at Carlsbad High, but what she has failed to disclose is that she is 15 going on trouble.”…

After Roy’s policy speech, with that state of Utopia pending, can reality be far behind…? Francine attempts to vet Deke’s date to the Rising Star Dance.

“What do you know about Deke’s date?”

“She’s pretty,” which pretty much sums up Braden King’s in-depth analysis, “Susannah is her name.”

“Does she have a last name BK?” Francine has been left to do the dirt-digging work.

“I believe it is Greasebomb or some odd name like that, a senior at some high school in New Mexico… you know that state just west of here?”

“Do you know the name of the junior Congressman from New Mexico?”

“That isn’t fair, I’m not sure I know OUR Congressman if I met him on the street.”

“It’s not Greasebomb, but you’re close; Hector Grisbaum, a Dem from Carlsbad.”

“Beautiful country out there, have done some quail hunting out at Antelope Ridge.”

“Well it seems sweet Miss Susannah Grisbaum is a senior at Carlsbad High, but what she has failed to disclose is that she is 15 going on trouble.” It seems she skipped 2 grade levels.

“Wow, she is well developed for…”

“Braden!”

“Say, didn’t they invent the Grease Bomb at Alamogordo New Mexico?”

“Braden…..please focus! I want you to insist that they come back to our house after the dance and keep Gus out of their hair.”

“Don’t you trust Deke?”

“Deke I trust, Susannah not so much. Congressman Grisbaum is President Sanchez’ biggest ally on Capitol Hill and he is stumping with Freelove as we speak.” Francine is assuming the worst. “And make sure all the security cameras are working, inside and out.”

“Why not just tell Deke he can’t date Susannah, it’s not like he doesn’t have half the girls in the country mooning over him?” BK dates himself nearly every time he speaks.

“Mooning?” She shakes her head. “How is it you are still single?”


THE RETURN TRIP

Episode 192


page 230

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 190

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 190

…“This country just isn’t ready for a henpecked president…

“Braden tells me that Deke has been dating a girl and he has asked her to “Rising Star”. What on earth is that?” It is Francine‘s job to at least have some clue about the boys’ social life.

“Good for Deke! I was wondering when a girl would turn his head!”

“So he takes a girl to a planetarium to watch the stars? Wouldn’t his convertible be better for that?”

Space Academy

“No, no, silly, it’s the big fall event at the Space Academy. I remember taking Becky Bartman… she was a cute filly from Plano… oh wait, I get it.. Rising Star is a dance Francine.”

“Does Deke even know how to dance? And Braden needs to be in town that week, because who knows where in Florida we will be.” Francine knows what’s what with campaign logistics. “Has this girl been vetted?”

“She’s a date, not a democrat!”

“How do you know she’s not?”

“Teenagers are not political creatures and Sammy Mac raised his boys right. I trust he’ll be a perfect gentleman.”

“Will she be a perfect lady? Have you met her family?”

“It sounds like he just met her, give it some time. If the girl interferes with his Academy work, I’ll step in.”

“Okay, you’re the president of our family, but I’m appointing myself vice-president of girlfriends, since you didn’t have the guts to make me the real Veep.”

“The country just wasn’t ready for a henpecked president; Hispanic, Black, Female, Democrat, Democrat, Democrat, did I say Democrat ???? , but not henpecked by the #2. I’ll have my hands full with the one I got.”

“Fine, I didn’t want Char’s job anyway, so I will settle for nosy First Lady.”

“There you go, knock yourself out!


THE RETURN TRIP

Episode 190


page 227

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 187

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 187

…So between now and November we have to hang loose, play it by ear – cool our jets or whatever you astronaut-types say these days”…

“What’s the deal… does Braden cramp your style? You are turning 18 and always the one who insists he’s Mr. Self-sufficient.” Roy is setting up the “you’re the man of the house” speech.

“Don’t worry Gus; I’ve made all your meals for the week.” Francine knows the source of his angst and it starts slightly above his waist. “I won’t be going out on the campaign trail every time, but I cannot have the future President of the United States rooming the streets of New York alone.
“The way it is now, with you guys almost done at the Academy and us stumping the country for votes, oh and Braden keeping track of New Mayflower, we are all too busy to worry about our normal, everyday family routine. So between now and November we have to hang loose, play it by ear… cool our jets or whatever you astronaut-types say these days”

“It is ‘take a chill-pill’ Francine and I get your drift; we have been spoiled by your cooking and we miss our Mom.” No one could have predicted that statement: from selfish news anchor-to-good cook & mother.

“And Braden sucks thruster fumes?”

“Stop it Roy!” Gus gives Francine a bear hug goodbye. “Now let’s go out to the Big Apple and kick some Freelove butt!”

“That would be Freelove/Cauley butt! Oh, that reminds me Francine. Would you proof the podium banner my people have come up with?”

“You mean banner #13? Maybe this will be the lucky one.”

Roy unfurls it, “Yes, this one.”

Today the USA

Tomorrow the Milky Way

“It still needs some work,” Francine has another, “but I liked the other.”

Crippen/Walker

Astronaut/Straight Talker

“I am sure the American people will understand that a space-geek has his fingerprints all over it,” she laughs uncontrollably, not because the logos are so bad, rather that Roy is trying so hard to prove that he is a different sort of politician.


THE RETURN TRIP

Literary Thumbprint Portraits by Chery Sorg

Episode 187


page 224

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Remembering Puns #35

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Remembering Puns

A lot of brave men fought and died in San Antonio, Texas, which is Alamo reason to remember

Way back when, I used to remember things by tying a string around my finger. Even then I had digital memory.

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I went to Cairo, but I don’t remember if I saw the river or not. I wonder if I am senile

Image result for the nile

I can’t remember ever getting nits as a kid, although I do have a lousy memory.

Image result for lice

My friend had amnesia and couldn’t remember how to walk up the stairs, so I had to go back and teach him step by step.

When entering a funeral home, remember to stay alert and always look alive!

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

He couldn’t remember the pill’s name but it was on the tip of his tongue.

Image result for tip of the tongue

‘Did you remember to buy me the coffee with ice cream inside it?’. ‘Oh I’m sorry, affogato!’

Image result for affogato


Remembering Puns

#35

THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 180

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 180

…Scott Walker mentioned that his daughter is looking for a way out of “Toilet Paper Politics” in Wisconsin…

Candidate Crippen has already set the wheeloffortune in motion, having Image result for wheel of fortune gifcontacted her Chief of Staff, “Would you call your boss and tell her to meet me in Milwaukee, at the Pfister Hilton, Mason Street Grill tomorrow night at 7P? Tell her that it has to do with the White House.”

“If you didn’t know, the Hilton is a casino… and how do you know anything about where we’re staying in Milwaukee?” Even though she can’t know everything her husband does, doesn’t mean she wouldn’t like to know.

“I met her father there a month ago, he being some sort of expert on work-fare and it’s funny, but he mentioned that his daughter  is looking for a way out of “Toilet Paper Politics” in that state. I don’t know why I didn’t press him on the subject, but he did mention she goes deer hunting in late November, bragged about teaching her how to be a sportsman.”

Speaking of the devil, his phone ringtone blares Sputnik-bleeps, “Roy Crippen,” Thity Point Buckhe chimes in.

“Charlotte Walker, Roy, my dad told me he met you a while back, congratulations on your nomination. I would have been in Chicago, but I had an appointment with a 30 point buck… that’s an exaggeration AND a song up here.”

“Can you meet us in Milwaukee? I promise to make it worthwhile.”

Wisconsin License Plate Art by DeAnna Roose

“I got the message, I love the Mason Grill. I will see you there.”

The impromptu call ends and so may that nagging 130 {or so} pound Veep-issue headache.

“Now that you have this notion in that one-way brain of yours, I cannot argue with you on the issue of compatible VP choices. But I’m not sure the party faithful will agree.”

“Well it can’t be another Texan and it can’t be another space guy, so why not a rifle-toting, rock’em-sock’em reformer from America’s Dairyland.”


THE RETURN TRIP

America’s Dairyland

Episode 180


page 216

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 174

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 174

…“I wanted to drag the spiteful twerp from the car and kick his ass all the way home, but my father took me aside and told me to take the high road…

Take the High Road | by nixter

Candidate Crippen launches into a spontaneous analogy.

“I had/haven’t seen my cousin Harold for a while, a nasty spoiled city boy who came to visit my family’s house one summer. Now I had a large collection of plastic handmade models, the kind with a thousand little pieces that you glue together. There were nuclear carriers, supersonic jets, and yes, even an old Space Shuttle docking with the ISS (International Space Station) and this shirttail relative wanted to take some home with him. Well I had worked way too hard on this display to break up the collection, so I told him no.

“When it was time for him to leave, while I loaded his suitcases into my dad’s car to take him to the airport, it turns out he loaded programmable firecrackers into many of them and they were blown to bits after he was safely locked inside the car.

“I wanted to drag the spiteful twerp from the car and kick his ass all the way home, but my father took me aside and told me to take the high road. He knew the boy’s parents and how they would never believe that their dear little blankety-blank would never do such a thing.

“That very same cousin called me not long ago to apologize, telling me that he appreciated the way we handled the situation and he never did another mean thing the rest of his life.”

“That’s an interesting analogy Mr. Crippen,” the young woman compliments. But did she make the intellectual connection between Harold Ivey and the United Korean Peninsula?

“Thank you and,” Roy stares directly into the biggest camera in the lot, “if you are watching Harold Ivey, you and your family are welcomed to visit me in the White House!”

The captivated sidewalk audience goes wild. Once again his down home style comes in handy, making Freelove’s clichéd rhetoric appear petty and small. He shakes hundreds of hands on the 20 foot walk into Chicago’s first and only gambling establishment.

Francine, who 20 years ago could have been that overly aggressive reporter, could not resist asking, “Was that story for real?”

“Every word,” he shoots back.

All she can do is shake her head, “I love you Roy Crippen.”


THE RETURN TRIP

True Story by Tim Hussey

Episode 174


page 209

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 171

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 171

…“How do I politely kick the ass of the first female presidential candidate since 2016?”…

To his credit, Roy Crippen has been coached into being an eloquent speaker, once some of that Texas drawl is withdrawn and his quiet ways set aside for super-sized Roy.

His sneakily crafted campaign assault against Pete Sanchez and his policies are working. The once modest crowds are increasing steadily. He seems to be growing in popularity with people who are taking the future seriously, not just along for the ride.

His speech today at Chicago’s Lincoln Park & Zoo expects to draw 100,000; none of them Republican Party plants, as opposed to the Kool-Aid drinking poster-wavers at {Sanchez VP} Sylvia Freelove’s scripted stops. Sometimes it’s hard not to think that he is running against Pete Sanchez.

“How do I politely kick the ass of the first female presidential candidate since 2016?”

“Let me see that tie,” insists Francine and far from the first female first lady hopeful. By virtue of a scheduling snafu, Francine is in the Windy City to speak to the convention of Aeronautic Manufacturing Contractors in her newest/continuing duties as Public Relations Executive for NASA. Today she will wear both gaudy hats, much like her candidate hasn’t completely left NASA behind “Did I pick one out?”

He proudly cinches up his favorite Orion Constellation tie. “I am, after all, “The Hunter” in this campaign…..hunting down an obstacle to social progress and an opponent to a second Mars Colony.”

“I’m not sure the voters are going to make the connection Roy. It looks like you splattered paint on it from 30 feet away. Maybe the one that matches your eyes would be a better choice.”

“Bloodshot?”

She completely ignores that comment, spoken by a man with his mind set on his, ‘This is my lucky tie.’

“Wasn’t that the tie you were wearing the day the New Mayflower landed on Mars?”

“Okay it may not be all that lucky, but there is something about it that is consoling.”


 THE RETURN TRIP

Lucky Goldfish by Pan Xiao Ling

Episode 171


page 206

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