Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 86

Leave a comment

Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 86

…Connie suspects there is more than piano tutoring going on between William and the Dean’s daughter…

The Dombroski involvement in this universal affair is part and parcel the result of Eddie’s chance offer of livery; a simple airport fare differs greatly from risky short-term employment. They had provided cover for themselves in renting the Packard sedan for him to drive, but protecting Eddie’s personal interests had not crossed their minds. Eddie will not be of any good service until his wife is found.

“Do not touch anything Eddie, we’ll be over soon… 45 minutes,” she dons panty, bra, slacks and blouse while concluding the call, asking Fanny, “Is William with Martin?”

“No, I saw him trying the bathroom door knob while you were in the shower.”

“How about Martin and Willard…?”

“They have been staying at Will’s office ever since he snapped out of his coma,” Fanny serves as the crew’s social secretary, sees all & knows all of everyone’s everything.

“Good,” Connie runs back down the hallway to the common bath, barging in without knocking. “Get the car William!”

With nary a towel to cover him and a beet-red face he reacts, “This better be important Constance, I have a lesson scheduled with the Dean’s daughter.”

“You can tickle her ivories another time sonny,” she has seen the two together and suspects there is more than piano tutoring going on between them, “get dressed and warm up the car, we have a friend to help.”

“Poor William,” Fanny expresses sympathy for a nice young man who is challenged when it comes to romance.

Constance is not the least bit concerned about that. Ramifications are spreading like an allergic rash, with benign redness leading to serious discomfort. And for all his foibles, Eddie has been nothing but loyal to them despite the uneven cadence of his employ. Never once was his wife to be part of the deal. Innocent coalitions have lead to collateral damage.


Constance Caraway P.I.

Forever Mastadon


page 78

The NULL Solution = Episode 126

Leave a comment

The NULL Solution = Episode 126

…like an unlucky coin, you and your people turn up around most of the turmoil in this galaxy…

The Ÿ€Ð haven’t ruffled any feathers so far,” Sampson observes.

“If you mean being overly aggressive, they have not. Sure, they may have conscripted a few folks, but not a shot has been fired.” Skaldic ponders some more. “They have lost their home world, a fleet of ships and much of their identity. They may be looking for someone to blame.”

“Are you looking at me or Deke? We’ve been a couple of choirboys lately!”

“Choirboys?”

“Hey, you Eridanus guys are the music-majors in this man’s army. A choir on Earth is comprised of the very best singers… at a house of worship… church… which means they are always on their best behavior.”

“Your galactic reputation does not match that description. You are a stowaway gang from a planet that nearly destroyed itself and you seem to be bent on procreating & colonizing wherever the spacewinds blow.” So much for that fan club thing.

“That is harsh Skaldy. I thought you were my friend.”

“I am, but like an unlucky coin, you and your people turn up around most of the turmoil in this galaxy.”

“I can appreciate the “bad penny” reference, but if it weren’t for bad luck, we wouldn’t have any at all. 1st our space station blows up, stranding us. We find a ship to survive on, only to be hauled all the way out here, without our permission. Sure the McKinneys have made a couple babies along the way,” Sam looks Deke’s way, “but we also helped out a few new friends here and there. Spread some new technology around. Can you think of any harm in all that?”

“Your planet was close enough to smell the debris from those Ÿ€Ð cruisers. All I am proposing is to contact them before Eridanus can be blamed.”

“I would be honored to accept the position of Ambassador to the Axis.”

“We want to prevent conflict, not start it. Ekcello and Cerella are contemplating hyperphysical contact without delay.”

You needn’t hit old Sam McKinney over the head with a hammer. —


***please note that the BAD PENNY BLUES predated certain songs by the Beatles i.e. Lady Madonna


The NULL Solution =

Episode 126


page 125

The NULL Solution = Episode 83

Leave a comment

The NULL Solution = Episode 83

…that was 20 years ago, was it not? I am surprised you have your sanity…

From David Sipress NYTimes

“My friends call me Locutus,” Picard surprises everyone with his quick retort.

It is hard to catch an astronaut off balance.

“He’s messing with you Gussy. Good one Picard, I like your style!” And Roy means it. “Speaking of stranger than fiction, are Deke’s princess and her “child” in any danger by remaining on Earth?”

“No. It appears that water, oxygen and such are mutual environmental requirements, though I think Cerella is used to substantially more oxygen. That’s why it is fortuitous that you happen to have a hyperbaric chamber out here in the middle of nowhere.”

Image result for time to change the subject

“I bet we could hop over to Mars, right damn now, and set up shop Crip!”

“You are just itching to out there and check it out, I can tell.”

“Well we are flying blind if we don’t. We need answers. We should provide answers before some amateur astronomer with a powerful enough telescope spots what’s Image result for keeping balls in the air gifgoing on and starts some video that goes viral.”

“We are keeping far too many balls in the air, son; some distant civilization is coming to get us – no one has noticed that Deke isn’t on the damned planet – And that’s just for starters.”

“Is that Joyner’s father?” Inquiring minds need to know.

“Yep Doc. And until Cerella plopped into your lap, we weren’t sure what happened to him… we didn’t even know where the hell Sampson and Celeste McKinney went.”

“The parents, ah yes, I remember now, but that was 20 years ago, was it not? I am surprised you have your sanity.”

“I may not after all, if I agree to let Gus take SEx out to Mars. For as many questions that you have helped us answer, there are as many or more we haven’t a clue about… like what’s behind the Martian reboot or that enigma wrapped in a riddle & shrouded in mystery that we have named Lorgan.”

“Lorgan… what and Essex, huh?”


The NULL Solution =

Episode 83


page83

The NULL Solution = Episode 73

Leave a comment

The NULL Solution = Episode 73

…Philanderers philander and physicians spring into action, in this case J-LP pulls a double shift…

“Any Visitors?” asks Dr. Picard of his receptionist.

“Non,” The response of “no” is the same in any {most} languages.

Once inside his Institute’s fourth floor sanctuary, he checks a few patient charts, while elevating his leg, which is sporting a cast that does not have space for another Sharpie signature.

By the time 7 O’clock rolls around, he has had enough of business, or so he thought. Before he can leave the room, out of nowhere, a very foreign-looking woman appears behind him. She is apparently in some distress.

“How did she get in?”

She is dressed like she comes from another planet and sounds like a harp when she speaks. Other than that she looks like she needs medical attention, specifically an OBGYN.

Dr. Picard takes her hand and has her stand inside a full-body scanner, an absolute necessity for any 21st Century medical office. Obviously she is with child, the child is in distress, but her anatomy does not match any he has seen before. There is no recognizing this from that, other than a very large child whose umbilical cord reaches the up to the base of her regally poised skull.

“What on Earth? If we deliver that baby and cut the cord, there may be serious damage to both of you.” Philanderers philander and physicians spring into action, in this case J-LP pulls a double shift. He calls down to the surgical suites to accommodate this unsolicited patient. “I need the most experienced nurses available… and I need a gurney on the 4th floor, STAT.”

Cerella, Heir to the High Council of Eridanus, has been deposited to the single solitary person on Earth…, nay, in the galaxy, who is qualified to deliver her & Deke’s child, not-to-mention the near-impossible task of preserving the cognitive functions of both mother & child.

10 light years away, the father waits and worries.–


The NULL Solution =

Episode 73


page 75

The NULL Solution = Episode 67

Leave a comment

The NULL Solution = Episode 67

…I want to ride to the ridge where the West commences
and gaze at the moon till I lose my senses…

— It has been pretty quiet in the neighborhood, both the Milky Way and the King Ranch spread – each 200 x 200 square {parsecs and miles respectively} each. No UFOs, no Lorgan, no problem.

The same approx. area as the country of Andorra {tucked in the Pyrenees}, King Ranch acreage is much easier to patrol than the parsecs of space. Even the most adventurous steer will not exceed the boundaries of barbed wire, streams or shotgun toting neighbor, whereas the Space Colony 1 pioneers, disappeared into the thin air of a controlled NASA situation.

“Oh, give me land, lots of land under starry skies above
Don’t fence me in
Let me ride through the wide open country that I love
Don’t fence me in

Let me be by myself in the evenin’ breeze
And listen to the murmur of the cottonwood trees
Send me off forever but I ask you please
Don’t fence me in

Just turn me loose, let me straddle my old saddle
Underneath the western skies
On my cayuse, let me wander over yonder
Till I see the mountains rise

I want to ride to the ridge where the West commences
And gaze at the moon till I lose my senses
And I can’t look at hobbles and I can’t stand fences
Don’t fence me in

Oh, give me land, lots of land under starry skies
Don’t fence me in
Let me ride through the wide country that I love
Don’t fence me in.”

Gus is in good voice this morning. He knows the Cole Porter lyrics by heart. It was his anthem back when he was thirteen and feeling his oats.

Mindy is calling to him by the most basic form of communication, “Gus McKinney, get your ass in here right now!” she shouts at the top of her lungs.

Those shouts carry across Waller County, most of which the King, Crippen and McKinney families own. Save the small settlements here and there, which are mostly grouped around the ubiquitous Walmart Megastores.

He skillfully reins his chestnut stallion back around to the house, from where he was headed, which was… oh he forgets.

“I need a shower Sweetie,” admits the wandering wrangler.

Unpretentious and a good mother, his wife requires some alone time as well – which does not include riding a horse to the back-back-back forty.


The NULL Solution =

Episode 67


page 69

The NULL Solution = Episode 24

Leave a comment

The NULL Solution = Episode 24

…With the Gifted, white-cloaked & motionless, shut down like some many windup toys, the initial Null reaction is to help themselves to the things reserved for the Gifted…

Wind-up Toy Set – set of mini still life oil paintings by Marilyn Fenn

Much to Skaldic’s dismay, the only period of time resembling this one, was while Eridanian explorers were still roaming far into space. There is even a vague reference to a ship that was lost forever. Much music was composed in the spirit of grief. In a language comprised of melody and tuneage, the collective sigh of a civilization is there for all to hear… but no details, just an untold cycle gap between tragedy and enlightenment.

Just what happened during those many cycles? Nothing, that they were willing to make an accounting of.

So like bees fleeing the hive, the Null come out from their restricted tower. Most every one of them was born non-telepathic. Some were afflicted by a brain short-circuit. All are rejects.

Skaldic the Null, however, chose to be this way; no good reason, he just chooses 100% verbal. Rumors claim him to have a tin ear, which would make it hard to communicate with anyone at all, though he has managed and actually excels to this Related imagemoment.

With the Gifted, white-cloaked & motionless, shut down like some many windup toys, the initial Null reaction is to help themselves to the things reserved for the Gifted, aka personal possessions, food and hookahs. Hookahs are the strange devices the Gifted use to expand their limits.

Hookahs would not help the Null cause whatsoever.  The effects would send their minds past the edge of reality. Skaldic categorically forbids any use of said devices. Looting too is halted posthaste. There may be hell to pay if/when the Gifted revive.

He goes about the process of forming a coalition of trusted Nulls. Though acquainted with most, he counts those he can rely on, on one digit.

This situation requires equals, not peons. The majority of his kind has settled for the status quo, secure in the knowledge that they are taken care of. ‘Why should we struggle to attain anything greater?’ has been the mantra for untold cycles, going back to before the times that Skaldic is looking into.-


The NULL Solution =

Episode 24


page 28

How Beer Changed the World – WIF Fun Historical Facts

Leave a comment

How Did Beer

Change the World?

Beer Video Below

Hybrid cars, computers, those terrible smartphone games everyone’s hooked on: humanity has come a long way since our cave-dwelling, hunting-and-gathering, Quasimodo-looking forefathers. But why? What drove all of these fantastic exhibitions of human achievement?

But first please indulge me.

I have featured beer in other articles over the years:

This would suggest that I am a consumer of said product. To support my claim of partaking in this addictive amber alcohol bubbly beverage, I spent the first 40 years of my life in Wisconsin. That should be ample proof in itself.

Whether it is because of the brutal winters or the proximity to hops & Barley or the immigration of German brew masters to Milwaukee, WI is a beer hotbed.

True Confessions

If I could reach back into time and speak sound advice to a younger meI would recommend abstaining from acquiring a taste for it.

But the ability to change the past is currently unknown or unavailable to us here in 2017 and the horses are already out of the barn.

The key to drinking is not to get drunk. Moderation is a highly underrated state-of-mind.

  1. Sip – don’t Guzzle
  2. Savor the Flavor
  3. Consider the Consequences

This did not start out to be an advice column. Please feel free to chime in & direct your comments to Gwendolyn Hoff c/o Writing Is Fun-damental (the blog you are reading). Perhaps I have missed my calling.

Or perhaps I have changed the course of someone’s life somewhere out there. “Dear younger you.”

–  Gwenny


How Beer Changed the World –

WIF Fun Historical Facts