THE NULL SOLUTION = Episode 4

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THE NULL SOLUTION = Episode 4

…How about the old shell-game… they’re there, no they’re not here, they’re in the air… do you see where I’m headed…

“I just got word that the President is on her way Roy, should arrive in the morning,” Francine Bouchette-Crippen gives her husband the news.

“She doesn’t take NO for an answer, does she?” His best efforts to control the message are about to be neutered. “Do you have any suggestions on how to handle this? She’ll want to congratulate theRelated image newest space heroes and Deker will be conspicuous by his absence.”

How about the old shell-game… they’re there, no they’re not here, they’re in the air… do you see where I’m headed?

That strategy will have to do.

Until Harper Lea Bassett’s untimely arrival, Roy needs to rehash some of what he knows, in an attempt to crack the vexing missing Deke McKinney mystery.

To that end, he must remove emotion from the equation and get down to the nuts ‘n bolts: the Stellar Explorer {SEx} itself. To do so, he goes as far as to kick Fletcher Fitch away from his obsession of dissecting the differences between the old ship and the new mysteriously improved version. There will be plenty of time for that later.–

— Any machine made by man’s hand has a “feel” to it, an intangibility that may defy conventional acumen. With all the interior lights glaring or the busy busyness of the SOL hangar at the Galveston Launch Facility {GLF} it is difficult to separate the mental from the metal.

“I want this hangar cleared. Everybody go home, come back tomorrow and when you do, please wear your official NASA SOL polo shirts, the President is dropping in for a visit.” Former President Roy has a way with his underlings, an assertive manner that inspires, not inciting. As he addresses the semicircle of men and women, he looks directly at each and every one of them, “And when the topic of the McKinneys comes up you don’t know nothin’, which if you are like me, is not far from the truth.  I’m telling you to fib for the good of the program. Our honesty policy will be back in effect the day after tomorrow. See you at 0500 hours.”–


THE NULL SOLUTION

Episode 4


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THE NULL SOLUTION = Episode 3

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THE NULL SOLUTION = Episode 3

…Prez Roy, Prez Roy, ya da – ya da. I wish this country would let go of him…

“I want a tickertape parade on Inauguration Day. This is mankind’s greatest achievement and I want to rub it in the nose of those damned United Koreans.” Harper Lea Bassett, recently elected Madame President of the United States of America and proud to have supported NASA as part of her party’s platform, wants to thrust the SOL Project front & center for the entire world to see. “We have been playing second fiddle to Pan-Asia for far too long.”

{Pan-Asia does not include the United Korean Peninsula, at their causation,

thereby encouraging that rogue nation’s isolationist policies. The rest of the world has high anxiety because of Korea’s is current second placement in the race for “real” outer space. China has dropped to third, due to societal decay and fifth-place Russia has not recovered from the embargo of 2020’s.

India is fourth, at the expense of their 2 billion people, who are more interested in investing their capital in every possible commercial franchise opportunity.  To their credit, you cannot buy a donut and coffee without them.}

“I am sorry Madame President, but former President Crippen has nixed that idea,” her Chief-of-Staff informs her.

“What the hell, Dane! You’d think him and his NASA cronies would love the attention of an adoring planet. Get him on the secure line; I want to talk to him!”

“I’m sorry, but the secure line is down.”

“Don’t tell me, the Koreans?”

“We suspect they hacked in last week… they seem to have found out about our plan to kidnap an Un-family member and replace him with a doppelgänger.”

#^~`*+%=!!!  It’s hard to keep a secret anymore. It’s turned into a freaking competition; between the hackers, the drones, the satellites and the spy planes, you name it.”

“Half of them are ours!”

“Not the hackers. Our geeks are in their basements playing virtual-reality holographic games.”

“You should try Club Neptune; it is the hottest bar/game in the Solar System.”

“You want reality? We just blew past Neptune’s orbit twice and I can’t even get the Space Family McKinney to show up for a damned parade in their honor!”

“Prez Roy said he could send one of the SOL prototypes over instead.”

Prez Roy, Prez Roy, ya da – ya da. I wish this country would let go of him. How old is he now, Dane? He must be pushing 90.”

“He still runs 10 miles a day and, AND plays tennis with Francine!”

“Damn, I wish I had her legs… see, even I am jealous of an 80-something… and I am the youngest President ever elected,” just over the wire at 36, named after Harper Lee {different sp.} of To Kill a Mockingbird fame, elected by a motivated under-30 demographic and still wet behind her presidential ears. “I want USA One ready to go. I am going to go down to Texas and see what’s up.”


THE NULL SOLUTION

Episode 3


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Not Your Boston Celts – WIF Geography

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Fascinating Facts

About the

Celtic People

Celtic history is steeped in mystery. You’ve no doubt heard of the Celts, but because they left behind no written records, what we know about them can often be chalked up to myth and legend. Contemporaries and frequent enemies of the Roman Empire, these warriors were quick to fight, and vicious in attack.

 But like we said at the beginning, despite what we think we might know about the Celts, much of it has been skewed and twisted throughout history, many of the tales having been told by people, such as Herodotus, who were on the outside looking in. Still, Celtic culture was, and remains, fascinating to delve into. Here are 10 things you should probably know about the Celts.

10. They Probably Didn’t Originate in Ireland

Your mind has just been blown, right? Over the years we’ve come to associate the term “Celtic” with Ireland (thanks in large part, in recent history, to the NBA team the Boston Celtics, whose logo is a leprechaun covered in shamrocks). But historians have concluded that the Celts almost certainly didn’t originate in Ireland – or Scotland, or Wales, or even England, for that matter.

Instead, their roots have been traced back to central Europe, with Austria being the likeliest point of origin. Emerging from the late Bronze Age along the Danube River, Celtic tribes are believed to have initially lived throughout continental Europe. Eventually, these tribes expanded north and did settle in the United Kingdom. But when you think of ancient tribal warriors from Ireland, the odds are pretty strong you’re not thinking of the Celts; you’re thinking of the Gaels. Of course, even  that is a little more complicated than it sounds, so we’ll come back to that later.

9. The Romans Had Nothing On Their Roads

While Romans often get credited for being the road-builders of Europe, there’s substantial evidence to suggest that the Celts beat them to the punch. Not that the history books would ever tell you that, because as we all know, history is written by the winners. And for the bulk of early recorded history, the winners resided in the Roman Empire. When you’re the biggest, baddest dude on the block, you can take what you want, including credit for things others have done.

And according to some, that includes the building of roads. Archaeological evidence now suggests that it was the Celts, and not the Romans, who were the first to build roads. Remnants of these roads would seem to indicate that they were constructed before the Roman conquest reached the British Isles. These roads were constructed largely out of wood, which was carbon dated to the Iron Age – an indication that they predated the Roman Empire expanding that far north. And speaking of the Iron Age…

8. They Were Among the First to Utilize Iron Weaponry

One aspect of Celtic culture you’re no doubt aware of is their reputation as fierce warriors. They were also technologically ahead of their time, which gave them a pretty giant leg up on their enemies. After all, this is the group that invented the exact chainmail that was later adopted by the famous Roman Legions. That obviously flies in the face of old rumors that the Celts fought naked, since we can’t imagine chainmail would feel particularly great clanging against your junk.

But it wasn’t just superior armor that gave the Celts an advantage in battle; it was superior arms, as well. The Celts are believed to be among the very first to forge iron into swords, replacing the flimsier bronze swords most had been using up until sometime around 800 BC. They also began to utilize smaller, lighter swords and daggers, also made of iron, around 600 BC. These were far less cumbersome than broadswords, enabling the Celts to be more agile and quicker to strike on the battlefield.

7. The Celts Were Hugely Wealthy

While history often paints the Celts in broad strokes as being somewhat barbaric, savage warriors, that’s not exactly the case. Sure, they did participate in some acts of barbarism, and many practiced ritual human sacrifice. And yes, we’re going to get to that in just a bit. But that aside, they were also massively wealthy, thanks in large part to being highly active in trade of the time. Being among the first to utilize iron certainly helped fill their coffers as well.

Gold was so abundant among the Celtic regions that they used it in their armor, weaponry, and art. Silver and bronze were also widely used, and they became renowned for their finely crafted and ornate jewelry. Their artistry was among the best in the world at the time, and their scientific and technological prowess was a big part of that. Through their art, their wine, their vast quantities of gold, and their advancements in technology, the Celts were able to line their pockets very nicely indeed.

6. They Had Slavery… Kind Of

Now, to be sure, the Celts did indeed practice a form of slavery. But – and not that this is justification or makes it even remotely better, in principle – it was much closer to the serfdom of Medieval times than the actual slavery we’re most familiar with from history books. And as usual when you’re talking about tribes prone to war, many of these slaves were prisoners of war who were held within the tribe’s region and forbidden traditional rights and privileges of anyone actually from that tribe.

 When a prisoner was taken, or a criminal offered to the victim’s family as restitution for his crime, he was bound to that person or family for life. He had no right of inheritance, was forbidden from taking up arms, and was more or less simply the lowest rung of the sociological ladder. Most of what we know of slavery in Celtic society comes from remnants of law texts from places like Ireland and Wales, so obviously there are pretty massive gaps in the information we’ve got. That said, while you were afforded virtually no rights as a slave held by one of the Celts, the consensus seems to be that treatment was still more humane than slaves of many other cultures throughout history.

5. They Had Progressive Views on Gender and Sexuality

While we can’t exactly call the Celts progressive in terms of their views on slavery, we absolutely can when it comes to women and sexuality. Now, don’t get us wrong: even in a somewhat progressive tribal society, it was still patriarchal. But that doesn’t mean women didn’t have a say, or couldn’t rise to power, or even become warriors or dignitaries. In fact, quite the opposite is true. Particularly before the Roman conquest, Celtic women could lead tribes, as was the case with Boudica.

Obviously, Boudica represents far from the norm, but was one of a few Celtic women to rise to power and lead her people before her death circa 60 AD. She was the queen of her tribe, and led her warriors into battle against the Roman Empire.

And speaking of gender and sexuality, one element of Celtic culture that’s become widely believed is that not only could women hold positions of power, but that Celtic men often preferred the, ahem, “company” of other men. It was commonplace for men to seek out sexual companionship with their fellow male warriors, and likewise, women practiced free love in Celtic culture, according to historical records from their contemporaries.

4. They Weren’t Savages But They Did Hunt Heads

As we’ve mentioned a few times at this point, the Celts were far from the barbarians history has often painted them to be. They were an advanced society, took great care and pride in their appearance, and were wise enough to know it was an affront to wine connoisseurs everywhere to water the stuff down like those simpletons in the Greek and Roman Empires. But that doesn’t mean they didn’t participate in at least a few practices that might qualify as barbaric and savage.

Chief among those practices – other than ritualistic human sacrifice, which we’ll get back to shortly – was headhunting. As with ritualistic sacrifices, Celtic headhunting was driven by religion, for the most part. You see, the Celts believed that the head contained a warrior’s soul, so by taking his head you are, in fact, capturing that soul. At least, that’s one popular theory as to why they hunted heads, though the exact reason is not known, and likely varied from tribe to tribe, and warrior to warrior, particularly since the practice continued even after most Celtic tribes had converted to Christianity.

3. The Number Three Had a Huge Significance

We’ll be delving into the religion of the Celts in just a moment, but a substantial part of their belief system was the concept of “triplicity.” While that may sound like a knockoff travel website, in reality it has to do with the number three. Specifically, things coming in the form of ‘triplets’, so to speak. That means three realms (Sky, Land, and Sea), and three types of gods (personal, tribal, and spirits).

Now, the Celts didn’t just have three gods, mind you. They had many. When we talk about the Celts worshipping three types of gods, we’re talking about the kinds that guide you when you’re alone, the kinds that are with you when you’re in groups, and those that protect your home. To put it simply, triplicity refers to three things that come together to form a whole. It’s an important part of cosmology and astrology, which were integral parts Druid paganism. Which leads us to…

2. For Most of Their Existence They Were Polytheistic

Eventually, some Celtic tribes adopted Christianity as their preferred spiritual path. But for the bulk of Celtic existence, they practiced polytheism; the worship of many gods. It’s not unusual that they’d have worshipped numerous gods, considering the same was true of their contemporaries, like the Greeks and Romans. And the chief purveyors of Celtic polytheism, or Celtic paganism, were the Druids.

Believe it or not, much of what we know of the Druids and Druidism comes from, of all people, Julius Caesar. Obviously, that’s part of what renders our knowledge of the Druids information that should probably be taken with at least a small grain of salt, considering Caesar and his Empire were frequently at war with the Celts. Still, Caesar relayed that the Druids were teachers and priests, and also rendered judgement and penalties resulting from crimes and squabbles within their tribes.

As alluded to in the previous entry, the stars played a significant role in the Celtic religion and Druidism. They also practiced ritual sacrifice to appease their gods (with the burning of Wicker Men – sacrificial victim or victims inside – which will send a shiver down Nic Cage’s spine should he read this), and believed in reincarnation.

1. The Celts Weren’t Really, Well, “Celts”

Confused? Don’t be. It’s a lot simpler than the header probably makes it sound. You see, the group you think of as the “Celts” isn’t really the Celts, at least not in the sense that the Romans were the Romans, or the Greeks were the Greeks. That’s because the Celts weren’t just one group; they consisted of many, including the aforementioned Gaels, the Britons, the Gauls, and the Galatians, among others. See, “Celtic” really referred to language, and the somewhat similar dialects these various tribes used.

That said, grouping all of those tribes together under one umbrella – which, again, was done by contemporaries like the Greeks and Romans, since the Celts themselves didn’t keep written records – is probably misleading. Some historians suggest that the languages were different enough, and the groups so spread out (as far east as Turkey, all the way west to the Atlantic Ocean) that it’s highly unlikely most of the tribes were remotely united. In fact, it’s believed part of the reason they were ultimately defeated by the Romans was because of their lack of unification. In essence, calling a Gaul “Celtic” would be akin to calling a German “European.” Technically correct, but highly generalized.


 Not Your Boston Celts

– WIF Geography

THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 216

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 216

…when you put an end to both wars AND welfare, you  eliminate the need to throw money at them…

Money GIF - Find on GIFER

At “home”, on this movie night, they rehash the good and the bad concerning the fallout from his speech.

“I have been told there is a Defense Department hit squad waiting for you in the halls of the Pentagon.” The First Lady has his back, as it should be.

“Do you mean that just because I have put an end to the infamous $600 hammer in the room? It’s not just the gross cost of the hammer, it’s the brother-in-law of the Army general who makes it… not to mention the fact that the military doesn’t use hammers anymore.”

“I saw a political cartoon in the Post which shows an Army general addressing his troops, telling them, ‘Next week I promise we will have live ammunition for our rifles.’ Yes you are on top of their s**t-list.”

“I’ll tell you what Francine, professional soldiers are like social workers; when you put an end to both wars AND welfare, you  eliminate the need to throw money at them.

“And speaking of spending money wisely, may I present to you the rising star of the SOL Project, who will tell us that the priority spending program is ahead of schedule and under budget: Ladies and Gentlemen, Gus “The Blue Blurrrr” McKinney!” Roy acknowledges Gus entering the room, signaling the end of the movie.

“Actually sir, we are behind schedule, over budget and seeing that I am an up-and-comer, can I buy that new Northrop Grumman LX25, it cruises at 400? {In the atmosphere}”

“I’ve seen your bank account and by 2040 you’ll have enough for the down payment.” Gus hangs his head. “And how many 21 year-olds have general aviation transportation; your car will do.”

Coming in late to the conversation at the White House, whose priorities are radically more serious, is brother Deke.  “Don’t fall for his bull Dad.”

Roy has to blink hard. Seeing the McKinney boys together in one room is rare and you can flip a coin to determine which one is which. The older they get, the more alike they look.


 THE RETURN TRIP

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Episode 216


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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 215

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 215

…In fact, Thomas Jefferson and others would actually run national lotteries to pay for non-budgeted expenditures…

As part of his second Inaugural Address, Roy Crippen may well have quoted scenes from the beloved (by buffs) Science Fiction series in his globally televised speech. His accentuation of the SOL Project would blend in nicely with the film, amplifying the need for spanning spatial distances quickly. Selling his country on the expensive proposition is not going to be easy, even in light of the President’s overwhelming popularity.

B-U-D-G-E-T; 6 unassuming letters {5 if you’re a rotten speller BUGIT or bad with numbers} that spell fear in the heart of recent Presidents, ever since the USA’s spending has exceeded its income, sometime after George Washington took office. Although the fiscal dynamics of a fledgling nation is absolutely unvarnished by contrast, the “Father of Our Country” still needed to deal with the relation between exports & imports and expenditures vs. revenue.

In his first term, “Prez Roy”, the nation’s affectionate label for him, is the 48th such aspiring budget balancer. Previously Washington, George only knew the meaning of the word debt, in the days before unbridled credit. His administration and several succeeding others, spent only as much as it took in. In fact, Thomas Jefferson and others would actually run national lotteries to pay for non-budgeted expenditureslike wars.

“I think we have done very well,” Roy told the nation last month. “In 2034 we had our first balanced budget since 1997 and we have managed to do the same, every year since then. Have we all made sacrifices? Yes. And has not the long arm of the Federal revenue collecting been altered? Yes… mostly, but only because we ran out of things to tax.”Wc GIF | Gfycat

Yet even before the wheels of said responsible government would to grind away on January 21st 2037, 25 trillion dollars had been borrowed and flushed down the toilet, protecting the world from itself and paying for those who refuse to take responsibility for their own affairs.

He goes on, “Productivity is not just another word. It is the foundation of industry, as well as a reasonable demand for services rendered. We are now all pulling on the same end of the rope.” When President Roy speaks it, it makes perfect sense & people listen. If a segment of society does not buy into his formula, it is isolated and dealt with.


THE RETURN TRIP

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 214

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 214

CHAPTER NINE

  Meanwhile Back at the Ranch

… no matter what schedule Gus McKinney is on, hell-or-high water, he shows up for movie night at the White House…

“What movie is playing tonight?” Roy Crippen, leader of the free world  is always the last to know.

He is still an important individual. Even on a light duty day like this one, he has had a meeting with both the King and Prime Minister of the South Pacific island nation of Tonga, greets the National Spelling Bee champion, and deals with a World Bank proclamation;

  • Tonga has a fishing dispute with Fiji and Samoa
  • The new best speller cannot speak a lick of English.
  • And in the most disturbing development, he learns the details about China’s latest demand against the world banking system, demanding payment in full from debtor nations. (Can you spell repossess? Not.)

Come Hell Or High Water by lilcoletterpress

In a topsy-turvy entangled selfish world, re-elected Prez Roy deserves some down-time and if it is the third Tuesday of the second month of the first quarter of 2037, then he should have known that his youngest stepson is in charge of selecting the movie.

He may be turning 21, he may be assigned to another part of the world or he may be bringing a date; no matter what schedule Gus McKinney is on, hell-or-high water, he shows up for movie night at the White House.

“It’s going to be a space movie, what else do you need to know?” Francine Bouchette-Crippen, who is both First Lady of the United States and Social Secretary, cares less about the movie, yet always welcomes the opportunity to ask a number of $64K questions, with a young man in need of some sort of oversight.star_trek_online

And Gus is so brutally honest that he says the darn(dest) things, “Well, some rookie was supposed to fly an X-66 back to Langley (AFB), but I did it instead… and here I am… STAR TREK: ORION’S BELT, right, that’s the movie?”

“And how did you come to get here last month?” A good stepparent would detect a pattern of behavior.

“I told a Senator’s daughter that she could swim in the White House pool, if she gave me a ride in her daddy’s limo?”

“And when the Senator needed his car, it was nowhere to be found,” an inconvenient fact. “Don’t you remember what happened before the 2032 election? Your brother was accused of assaulting a Congressman’s daughter. You better be careful about bending the rules to suit your fancy.”

“But Francine, I only do it so I can spend time with the best 1st Chick this country has ever seen!”

She is generally steamrolled by Gus’ charm.

And how could his stepdad, the Top Gun of the nation, protest watching a movie Star Trek movie about a peaceful planet in the constellation of Orion that kidnaps baby James T. Kirk III, right after he is born. (At a theater near you in 2037)


THE RETURN TRIP

Episode 214


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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 199

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 199

…the American people are not about to tamper with the perception of perfection… perception being the trigger for reality…

Perfection in Octad, 2010 by Rizwana A Mundewadi

It becomes very apparent by the pre-election year of 2035 that no one has the stomach to mount a challenge to Crippen/Walker. Not even the garden-variety armchair billionaire, with cash to burn and no need of a good reputation, will waste his time or money. Oh, the Democrats have scrounged up a glossy young candidate for convention purposes, but that only serves as a checks/balance to incumbent power, thereby preserving a solid 2.5-party system for future use.

At this particular point in history, the American people are not about to tamper with the perception of perfection… perception being the trigger for reality.

There is, however, steadily rising suspicion surrounding the United States’ and Roy Crippen’s inspired pet-project: SOL. Once it is achieved, speed-of-light travel will give the creator and his nation the single largest advantage ever attained by man.

  1. Unless you count 5000 BCE, when the wheel was invented.
  2. Or before that, some ancient figured out how to start a fire manually.
  3. Or, after all that, anything from “The Wizard of Menlo Park” (Edison).

To those who are screaming foul, Roy Crippen reminds those earth-bound worriers that SOL is only possible in the darkness of space. During his various discourses on the subject, President Roy reminds the wider-world that when plans for Space Colony II were vacated, with each nation taking the cash-out option from the insurance settlement, gone are the days when every new technology is shared. For those who are jealous, SOL translates to “s**t-out-of-luck”.

Surely the usual defendants, i.e. Russia, China, United Korea, Talibanistan, will do their best to beg, borrow or steal the expertise, but Prez Roy has cleverly invited them to the technology feast, on his terms only, with pre-approved scientists. The former Aldona Afridi, using his Fletcher Fitch disguise, is in charge of (dis)parsing the know-how.

The Crippen dedication to the SOL Project is a given, with the trusting approval of the voting public. Of course there are the “Starships cause hardship” arguers, but they need only look to everyday improvements to their lives for moral validation.

And now Deke & Gus McKinney, having blossomed during the SOL (also the ancient Roman Sun-god) era at NASA, has their hand prints all over the wet-cement that is the speed-of-light. And though the stairs only go to the second floor, look for them to lift it out – off the drawing board and past the Moon.


THE RETURN TRIP

2nd Floor Upstairs Neon by Dean Harte

Episode 199


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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 198

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 198

…Landslide, avalanche, drubbing, rout, outclassed, destroyed, Waterloo, and the Battle of Little Big Horn or even Cornwallis in the 1st American Revolution…

Surrender of Lord Cornwallis

On November 2nd 2032, the only polls that count are the exit variety. By 3 Image result for white flag of surrender gifPM Election DayEastern Time, the regretful tatters of a white flag can be seen hanging from the rafters at the Crowne Plaza New York City ballroom, the site of the would-be Freelove victory celebration.

One veteran columnist, wise to the intricacies of Election Day chalk, suggested that the only way the Crippen/Walker ticket were to lose this election, would be, to immediately concede or pull out of the race completely; too early for one, too late for the other.

When the smoke clears, after the polls close on the West Coast, the only Democratic institutions left standing are two California Senators, the Governor of Porto Rico and the dog catcher for Orange County Florida.

Landslide, avalanche, drubbing, rout, outclassed, destroyed, Waterloo, and the Battle of Little Big Horn are all terms that could be applied unmercifully to this national election and whose memory will not easily escape even the shortest of recollection.

3 Years Later

The first three years in office, for 1st time politician Prez Roy, as he will be lovingly nicknamed, are unbelievably tranquil. No new wars started by anyone, a robust economy fueled by international cooperation, and the slogan “hydrogen {not gasoline} in every tank”; prescriptions-all for a sustained love affair between the American public and the Crippen presidency.

Some of their success in the Retro Future had as much to do with “being in the right place, at the right time”, but he and Charlotte Walker have assembled a competent group of advisers, as well as the streamlined Cabinet, where nonpolitical-types fill vitally important jobs and do not go toddling off to the private sector at the dangling of a lobbyist dollar or two.

So as a result of quality hires and keeping top-notch personnel in each case {not the same-old Washington insider sapsuckers} many potential crises fall harmlessly to the wayside. To be sure, the old guard would love to hate every successful minute of the Crippen White House, if it weren’t for straightforward policy making and the regularly scheduled press conferences, i.e. a B.S.-free zone.


THE RETURN TRIP

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 197

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 THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 197

…“I can’t make a move without someone seeing me, so why didn’t we think of Crippen having a family room cam?”…

Lavatory Humor

The Freelove/Cauley campaign had a statistical lead of +/- 5 points going into October 2032, even after the “McKinney Memorial” sympathy-bump that Crippen/Walker had received. But numerical numbers in straw polls sometimes lie and they could not resist the temptation to release the audio date-rape-tape of Deke on Susannah Grisbaum to every yellow-media outlet and social site possible. It is done in anonymous fashion and microphones don’t lie, right?

But just as audio can be misconstrued, video cannot and the family room recordings of the events on the night of the “Rising Star” are submitted to the all the accredited broadcast channels, digital, analog, printed, virtual or actual.

And while there was initial outrage over the candidate stepson’s supposed indiscretions, the instantaneous nature of the Crippen response throws Sylvia Freelove for a loop.

“This is not going to play well in Lake Placid, Skip,” she speaks from a New York hotel damage-control room. “We’ve been outed as the source of the audio and Crippen has synced it up with the video …….sh*t, she is not a very good g** d****d actress!”

“Who knew they had security cams in a family room?”

“I can’t take a pee without someone seeing me, so why didn’t we think of that?”

“I’ve released that statement from you stating that we were set up and that Congressman Grisbaum is out of the country and unavailable for comment. Maybe the Spanish language outlets were asleep at the switch and missed this whole thing,; that will minimize the damage.”

As October draws to a close, it turns out that just about everyone has caught on to the Freelove attempt to sully her opponent by trying to setup national iconic up-and-comer like Deke McKinney. In two blasts of a shuttle thruster, their 5 point advantage slumps to a 10 point deficit… and that may be generously quoted.


THE RETURN TRIP

Reversal of Fortune collage by Saatchi Art Artist Ralph Michael Brekan;

Episode 197


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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 193

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 193

…For the guys, Rising Star is an opportunity to swap boy-stories; huge lies, exaggeration, triumphs and conquests

For teenage girls, it is exchanging: huge lies, exaggeration, sedition and gossip…

“Are you clear on what to do Susannah?”

“But I really like Deke McKinney, Daddy, he’s out-of-this-galaxy!”

“He is four years older than you. Do you really think Crippen would let him date you if he knew you were jailbait?” The deceivingly aged girl has become a pawn in the 2032 Presidential election. “All I am asking you to do is to have your phone on speaker when you are fighting off his unwanted advances.”

“But…”  Her job is to make sure they would not be uninvited.

“Get him to kiss you and the whole country will hear you fight him off.”

“But what if he won’t kiss me?”

“Then pretend you are horsing around, just get us some audio. Don’t you want your father to get that ambassador job for the European Union… can’t you see yourself studying at the University of Bologna or your mother doing what she does best?”

“Shopping?”

“We’re talking shopping, hosting dinner parties… you know, Italy on the taxpayers tab.”

The “Catch a Rising Star” Dance is a long standing tradition at the Space Academy. It is a somewhat frivolous reward for an intensive course of study that requires ultra-serious dedication. The Academy takes the place of a regular high school education, which both Deke & Gus McKinney have signed on to, the former having completed his studies with honors.

And it doesn’t hurt to have a pretty girl or handsome guy on your arm when the big night comes along. Just about every female pledge is wondering who the Dashing Deker (his academy nickname) is bringing to the dance. And much to the chagrin of his female fly-girl classmates, he is bringing that out-of-state girl he has been seen with, riding on his jet cycle and his favorite quarter horse.

For the guys, Rising Star is an opportunity to swap boy-stories; huge lies, exaggeration, triumphs and conquests. And that they do and do and do, instead of dance, dance, dance.

Which the girls don’t like one bit, so they do what teenage girls do best; huge lies, exaggeration, sedition and gossip.


THE RETURN TRIP

Not on this planet!

Episode 193


page 172