Laborious Puns #22

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Laborious Puns

“No man needs sympathy because he has to work, because he has a burden to carry. Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.”

Image result for teddy roosevelt bully

Labor Day is a good time to stop and reflect on the august events the the preceding month.

Image result for bad

Bringing a baby into the world is labor of love.

Image result for labor of love

 

. He labored so hard that he worked his fingers to the bone-us.

. In some places there is a lot of Manuel labor for every Juan.

In the NFL there is some  Manuel labor.

Image result for e j manuel

 

They used to experiment on dogs called laboratory retrievers.

. A woman union leader who was pregnant had labor pains and then a striking baby.

Image result for unions

. At a company where they dig for gold a labor dispute is a miner problem where no one wants to get the shaft.


Laborious Puns

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Laborious Puns #22

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Laborious Puns #22

“No man needs sympathy because he has to work, because he has a burden to carry. Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.”

Labor Day is a good time to stop and reflect on the august events the the preceding month.

Image result for august to september

Bringing a baby into the world is labor of love.

Image result for childbirth

 

He labored so hard that he worked his fingers to the bonus.

Image result for bonus

In some places there is a lot of Manuel labor for every Juan.

In some countries there is a lot of Manuel labor.

 

They used to experiment on dogs called laboratory retrievers.

A woman union leader who was pregnant had labor pains and then a striking baby.

 

At a company where they dig for gold a labor dispute is a miner problem where no one wants to get the shaft.


Laborious Puns

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#22

THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 260

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 260

…“We can’t be sent back or they won’t let us go back?…

Cerella speaks to Deke alone; who takes her hand and kisses it gently, like it may fall off in his.

“What did she say Deke? It sounds like Far East music to me.” Gus is not used to being upstaged when it comes to getting attention from the female persuasion.

The two that have been taken with one another, continue their one-on-one exchange undaunted.

Quite comically, the remaining characters in the room restart a conversation of their own.

“What’s the matter Gus, do you feel left out?” Sampson chides Gus, like a father teases a son.

“Hell no Dad, I’m engaged to be married.” The fact that they are 10 light-years away from a wedding day matters not.

“What’s her name, where’s she from, do you have a picture?” Celeste bullies her way into a litany of motherly queries.

Gus reaches into his SOL Project flight suit for the engagement picture from the Houstonian  of him and Mindy McDonald. “How long did it take us to get here?”

Celeste looks to Sampson, the official timekeeper of the family.

“30 months, as far as I can tell.”

“That’s 2½ freaking years! Are you sure we needed rescuing, because I bet Mindy has already mourned my death… like we did you guys?”

“Ten more seconds into SOL warp and you surely would have died. NASA astro-mechanics did their job, but the bio-people did not,” Dad does his best.

“The Eridanians have mastered the fabric of time and they thought we would like to know about your fate. So, “we” went back to when/before that happened, adjustments were made to your ship. It is because of those adjustments that we could not allow you to return to Earth,” good news-bad news from a loving mother.

“We can’t be sent back or they won’t let us go back?” The more the idea of being separated from Mindy sinks in, the less savory is the notion.

A loving father cups Gus’ face with his hands, massaging his cheeks, wiping away the tears, “Never say never…”


THE RETURN TRIP

Episode 260


page 303

Contents TRT

 

United Airlines Memes – Easy Peasy

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Top 10

United Airlines

Memes

This United Airlines public relations nightmare video has been circulating the Internet and we thought these memes and hilarious takes on the overbooking were worth re-posting. If you don’t know what we are talking about, here is the lowdown.

“An unidentified man who refused to be bumped from a plane screamed as a security officer wrestled him out of his seat and dragged him down the aisle by his arms. His glasses slid down his face, and his shirt rose above his midriff as uniformed officers followed.

“The videos show a security officer removing the unidentified man from his seat and dragging him off the plane as he screams. The flight was scheduled to depart O’Hare International Airport in Chicago for Louisville, Ky., at 5:40 p.m. but was delayed two hours.”

10. #Opportunities

9. Fly the Friendly Skies

8. Bad timing on updating United Airlines App

Notice the mention of the drag and drop feature.

7. United Airlines Logic

United’s motto: “We’re not satisfied until you’re not satisfied.”

6. United Airlines safety card

“Once concussed, drag customer’s lifeless body out of the plane in front of everyone.”

5. United Airlines Training Video

Thank you, now leave! So an employee can take your now blood stained seat.

4. United Airlines Fight Club

3. United Airlines Wretched Scum and Villainy

When United Airlines overbooks flights.

2. Southwest’s new slogan in light of the recent events regarding United Airlines.

1. “Indiana Jones & The United Airlines”


United Airlines Memes

– Easy Peasy

THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 116

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 116

…“My Great-Great Grandfather Dr. Hawley Harvey Crippen was hanged in London for dismembering his wife.”…

 

“I have a million credits stored up in my account and it’s burning a hole in my purse. I believe that you need new swim/tennis shorts and my bikini has a strap that is about to let loose.”

“You don’t have to buy me stuff, I can get by.”

“Not with me! And I’ve always wanted to have a guy to buy things for.”

“What about Larry?” He dares to go down that road.

“Let’s not go there. I am not in a good spot on that subject.”

“As long as you deal with him straight-up, after all you did agree to marry him somewhere along the line.”

“He knows where I stand Roy. I walked out on the station, violated my contract, and told him I was leaving the country with you. I think he gets the hint. If that makes me a coldhearted bitch, then so be it.”Related image

“Hey, I’m not trying to push my luck and I certainly do not want you to change your mind. If you are a coldhearted bitch, then I guess that I have taken a liking to coldhearted bitches.”

“C-H-B is harsh, but I’m not that same cutthroat TV reporter who called NASA out of the blue. It appears that you’ve made an honest woman out of me.”

“Speaking of acronyms, c-h-b you’re not, F-blank-B stands for what?”

“Nothing.”

“Francine Nothing Bouchette… boy your parents had low expectations.”

“I didn’t get a middle name; in fact I changed my name for television. In my high school yearbook, Francesca Boucheletta was voted “Most Likely to Be Famous”, but no way that was going to happen with an Italian name like that; sounds more like a wine & appetizer.”

“An Italian with a French name?”

“How about you Roy?” He wasn’t to get off that easy.

“My Great-Great Grandfather Dr. Hawley Harvey Crippen was hanged in London for dismembering his wife.”

Dr. Hawley Harvey Crippen

Francine immediately does an Internet search for the name, “I do not see the family resemblance.”

“I don’t know about that, but my parents did not want me to go to medical school… and I get queasy at the sight of blood, but I do like a bloody Mary from time to time and it is noon somewhere… want to join me F blank B?”

“The best place to find out about a new town is to talk with the bartender. We need to see what’s happening around here.”


 

THE RETURN TRIP

Episode 116


page 144

 

Contents TRT

Laborious Puns #22

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WIF Style-001Year 2016-001

 

“No man needs sympathy because he has to work, because he has a burden to carry. Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.”

Image result for teddy roosevelt bully

 

1.

Labor Day is a good time to stop and reflect on the august events the the preceding month.

Image result for bad

2. Bringing a baby into the world is labor of love.

Image result for labor of love

 

3.

He labored so hard that he worked his fingers to the bonus.

4. In some places there is a lot of Manuel labor for every Juan.

5. In the NFL there is some  Manuel labor.

Image result for e j manuel

 

6. They used to experiment on dogs called laboratory retrievers.

7. A woman union leader who was pregnant had labor pains and then a striking baby.

Image result for unions

8. At a company where they dig for gold a labor dispute is a miner problem where no one wants to get the shaft.

 

Laborious Puns

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#22

New Year Puns (#29) and Quotes

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New Year Puns (#29)

and Quotes

New years resolution for the bankrupt gardener was to forget the past and rely on the fuchsia. (obscure pun!)

The satellite went into orbit on January 1st causing a new years revolution.

Galileo_satellite_in_orbit

Drinking too much is an ale-ment

Image result for hangover

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quotes

 

T.S. Eliot

***“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language
And next year’s words await another voice.”
T.S. Eliot, Four Quartets
***“Hope
Smiles from the threshold of the year to come,
Whispering ‘it will be happier’…”
Alfred Lord Tennyson
***“May Light always surround you;
Hope kindle and rebound you.
May your Hurts turn to Healing;
Your Heart embrace Feeling.
May Wounds become Wisdom;
Every Kindness a Prism.
May Laughter infect you;
Your Passion resurrect you.
May Goodness inspire
your Deepest Desires.
Through all that you Reach For,
May your arms Never Tire.”
D. Simone
***“Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.”
Brad Paisley


New Year Puns (#29)

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and Quotes