Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 112

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Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 112

…After some wheeling, dealing, begging and other “general groveling”…

General Grovel

At times you pick the flight, but when Uncle Sam picks you, it’s his right to throw you a curve.

After flying into a general aviation airstrip outside Mobile, they cab over to Brookley Air Force Base, only to find that they’ve been bumped from this Monday’s flight.

Following a high level pow-wow, he is ready to face the music, aka the Boss, i.e. Constance.

“What’s the deal AB? I was under the impression that you were calling the shots.”

“I forgot that a certain Army Air Force general is in charge of this base,” he is uncharacteristically sheepish.

“Okay, let me see, did you have an affair with the man’s wife?” she aims below the belt.

p51_mustang

“No I’m not talking woman trouble,” he comes clean about a serious transgression. “I borrowed a P-51 for a few days.”

“I take it a P-51 has wings?” Good guess, bad news, “Is that a no-no?”

“That would be a court martial… were I an active service member.”

“So I am in league with a fugitive?”

“No, he wanted to extract a different type of penalty. He would drop any charges if would take his step-daughter to the base’s New Year’s Eve dance. Unfortunately this Three-Star has a good memory.”

“That is strike two, so now what? I do not have a week to waste and we don’t have time to book a Pan Am or TWA transatlantic, which would cost us beaucoup bucks by the way.”

After some wheeling, dealing, begging and other “general” groveling…….

“We’re back on the plane CC.”

“He swings at a 0-2 fastball… it’s a single to left field.”

AB “At least I’ve finally made it to 1st base with you.”

CC “Oh you mean who.”

AB “What do you mean?”

CC “No, what’s on 2nd.”

AB “I don’t know!”

CC “He’s on 3rd

CC “You saw Abbott and Costello on TV too?”

AB “Yes, yesterday.”

CC “He’s in right field. Then you know that nobody scored.”

AB “That’s me. I am nobody!”


Constance Caraway P.I.

Forever Mastadon


page 99

Who’s on First? (Ch10 pgs 129-132)

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“Who’s On First?”

“The African Queen, no thank you. They are sentenced to hang……..I read the book.”

“Me too, and if you remember, Rose and Charlie sink the Louisa and live happily ever after.”

“We can hop a freighter to Malta, and then catch an island hopper over to Rome, one-two-three.”

“Count to three and say N O.”

“I get us to Morocco and I believe we can find a more conventional route to Rome. Come on, don’t you remember the flying boats?”

“That is another story from another time,” she harkens back to the Hong Kong Clipper. “I like the friends fly free program you are offering.”

“I will get us on the next Globemaster…….that is one great plane!” If he had his way, he would be sitting in the pilot’s not the jump seats. He is the boss of his own airplane, “I believe they cross the big pond on Mondays, so I’ll fly us down to Brookley Sunday night.”

“That gives us the weekend to bum around.”

“Yes, I want to meet all the characters you have been talking about.”

“The University of Chicago is where we’ll start; it’s only 10 minutes from here. Willard Libby is the only reason we came up to the great white north,” when she and Fanny landed in Illinois their lives began to change. “He is an amazing story, was catatonic when we found him, but when you meet him, you wouldn’t know it.”

“So you have him in hiding?”

“Yeah, they had a funeral for him last week……..yes I know it’s bizarre, but the man wouldn’t survive on the street.”

“All this because he was shaving a few years off the age of Earth?”

“More than a just a few years and it turns out there is an unbelievable conspiracy to shut him up.”

“Ah ha, the bad guys think they have done just that?”

“Isn’t that beautiful,” she gloats? “But the hits just keep on coming—people are still dying and there is no letting our guard down.

“And good folks, like Eddie Dombroski’s family and our neighbor Betty are being kidnapped, shot or bombed. This needs to stop.”

“Good, let’s stop the bastards, I’m in favor of that, but the last time I checked God could have stopped the devil, before he got going, but he didn’t and WE, little ol’ us is going to do it?”

“According to our Agent Daniels, the double agent’s double agent, an act of God took care of one bad guy. That ties the score and I am going to be on the winning side.

“Sometimes you pick the fight, other times the fight picks you.”

At times you pick the flight, except when Uncle Sam throws you a curve. After flying into a general aviation airstrip outside Mobile, they cab over to Brookley Air Force Base, only to find that they’ve been bumped from this Monday’s flight.

Following a high level pow-wow, he is ready to face the music.

“What’s the deal AB? I was under the impression that you were calling the shots.”

“I forgot that a certain Army Air Forces general is in charge of this base,” he is uncharacteristically sheepish.

“Okay, let me see, did you have an affair with the man’s wife,” she aims below the belt?

“Not talking woman trouble,” he comes clean about a serious transgression. “I borrowed a P-51 for a few days.”

“Is that a no-no?”

“That would be a court martial…..were I an active service member.”

“So you have an outstanding warrant?”

“No, he wanted to extract a different type of penalty. I was supposed to take his step-daughter to the base’s New Years dance. Unfortunately he has a good memory.”

“That is strike two, so now what? I do not have a week to waste and we don’t have time to book a Pan Am or TWA transatlantic, which would cost us beaucoup bucks by the way.”

“We’re back on the plane CC.”

“He swings at a 0-2 fastball…..it’s a single to left field.”

AB “At least I’ve finally made it to 1st base with you.”

CC “Oh you mean who.”

AB “What do you mean?”

CC “No, what’s on 2nd.”

AB “I don’t know!”

CC “He’s on 3rd

CC “You saw Abbott and Costello on TV too?”

AB  “Yes, yesterday.”

CC “He’s in right field. Then you know that nobody scored.”

AB “I am nobody!”

“Cute. I’ll buy us a big shrimp dinner,” CC cuts the wordplay short, in favor of her favorite seafood restaurant on Mobile Bay. She adds a climatological comment, “It is so nice to wear normal clothes for a change.”

“When I first saw you at Meigs, I thought you were an Eskimo.”

“I could order room service.”

“You must be talking about Trader Joe’s; they have a surf ‘n turf that I would trade my pilots’ license for.”

“I’m buyin’, you’re flyin’!

File:Abbott and Costello.jpg

William “Bud” Abbott and Lou Costello (born Louis Francis Cristillo), were an American comedy duo whose work in vaudeville and on stageradiofilmand television made them the most popular comedy team during the 1940s and 1950s. Their patter routine “Who’s on First?” is considered one of the greatest comedy routines of all time and set the framework for many of their best-known comedy bits.”

Gwenny