History Channel Side-Hustle – “Ancient Aliens”

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Way-out Theories

on “Ancient Aliens”

The TV show Ancient Aliens has now run for 14 seasons, and has gone over nearly every half-baked theory, pseudo-scientific rambling, dumb hypothesis or just plain crazy alternate scientific idea or “fact” that you could possibly tie into myth, legend, or aliens in some way or another. It has inspired countless memes about its crazy-haired host, but it has also spread an entire alternate set of untruths that questions a lot of legitimate science.

It is important sometimes to look at the height of such a show’s absurdity, to remind ourselves it is really nothing more than entertainment value at the end of the day, and doesn’t belong on something that calls itself the “History” channel. In today’s article, we will go over 10 of the craziest things talked about on Ancient Aliens

10. Nazi Germany Experimented With Advanced Alien Technology 

In “Nazi’s And The Third Reich,” which is one of the earlier episodes in the epic that is the Ancient Aliens series, they discuss the connection between Hitler, his Nazi regime, and ancient aliens, as well as possible more recent alien visitors. One of the more intriguing things they discuss is a little known event that many in most parts of the world, even those who are into aliens, may not be aware of. Apparently somewhere around the middle of the Nazi regime, the Nazis had a Roswell-like incident with an unidentified spacecraft that crash landed.

After this, the Nazis, according to Ancient Aliens, kickstarted their rocket program and even started working on anti-gravitational technology. They speculate that much of the technology the Germans were working on was passed on to the United States when the USA used Operation Paperclip to poach Nazi scientists before they could end up in jail. They also discuss Hitler’s search for biblical and other relics, and how those relics may actually be real, at least in part, and may actually be alien tech and not just biblical magic. In fact, Hitler believed that his superior technology would win him the war, and the Ancient Aliens people are convinced that this superior technology was at least partially based on alien technology.

9. Human-Animal Hybrid Mythological Creatures Were Alien Experiments 

In “Aliens And Monsters,” the crew explores the connection between the various mythological creatures that have captured our imaginations over the years, and alien beings. Particularly, they talk about creatures like the Chimera, the Kraken, the Cerberus, the Hydra and even the Loch Ness Monster. They suggest that these beings did indeed exist, and that all the various mythological stories must have been talking about something real.

However, they suggest that these beings were not natural occurrences, but the results of advanced alien experimentation. They believe that many of the hybrid beings you see in old tales were the early experiments aliens were doing in regard to gene splicing human and animal DNA together. On top of that, they suggest that the ancient Hindu legend of the Garuda, an enormous flying creature that shook the earth when it landed, may have actually been a tale describing an alien spacecraft. Interestingly, in many of the early tales of the Garuda it is depicted as an entirely animal being, but in later lore it is often referred to as a hybrid that is part human. If the slightly later legends were the more accurate ones, the Garuda could also fit within the potential pantheon of creatures created by aliens doing gene splicing with human and animal DNA.

8. Aliens May Actually Be Future Human Time Travelers Visiting The Past 

In “ The Time Travelers,” the Ancient Aliens hosts decide that they need to mix things up, and suggest that maybe many of their own previous theories were too crazy… or maybe not crazy enough. The gang suggests that perhaps many of the UFOs we think we have seen, or alleged alien visitors we think we have encountered, are actually from the future, and aren’t aliens at all. Instead, the aliens are suggested to be visitors from the future that may even just be really advanced humans, who look extremely different from us (their ancient ancestors).

They bring up ancient Hopi legends about ant people who came up from the ground to help jumpstart human knowledge, and suggest these legends could translate to something similar to the name of the alleged Annunaki (aliens UFO theorists allege helped create early man). As far as this theory is concerned, ancient aliens who visited us may have been aliens from the future, but they could also have been humans from the far future, coming to influence man for the better. When it comes to more recent visitors, it is possible they are just coming to check out their past, and see how things are going. The episode also goes over all main theories about how one could travel through time, and mentions various mythological stories that could be interpreted as time travel tales.

7. Bigfoot May Have Been Connected To Past Alien Visitors 

In “Aliens And Bigfoot,” the folks at Ancient Aliens cover all of the possible crazy bases regarding what Bigfoot could possibly be. Of course, the one thing they don’t speculate that Bigfoot might have been is non-existent, because they are convinced he is real. The gang points out that Bigfoot legends of various sorts have existed across pretty much all cultures, and suggest that perhaps Bigfoot-type creatures have managed to stay hidden for the most part by hiding deep in caves. They claim that these creatures, when spotted, often have a sulfur smell that could come from an underground cavern. As for what Bigfoot is, the folks at Ancient Aliens have a few different theories.

They first point out that in some early folklore, there are hairy, primitive beings who live in the woods, and that in some stories, these are speculated to possibly just be humans who eschew society and don’t really shave much. However, they are also convinced there is more to the legend than just hairy humans, and suggest that remaining creatures could either be some type of aliens or perhaps the remains of an alien experiment. The Ancient Aliens people point to an ancient myth where the “gods,” which the show hosts suggest were aliens, created a hairy, man-like being called the “Enkidu” to be their slave and do manual labor for them. They speculate it is possible the Bigfoot-type creatures are remaining Enkidus that escaped any purges when the alien visitors left for their own planets so long ago.

6. The Ark Of The Covenant Could Be Tech From Ancient Aliens 

In “Aliens And The Lost Ark” the crew discusses their interesting ideas about the biblical artifact known as the Ark of the Covenant. Now, for those of you who aren’t too familiar with it, the Ark of the Covenant was a wooden and gold ornamental box carried by the Jews in the bible during their wanderings in the desert. (And let’s be honest: you’ve seen Raiders of the Lost Ark. You know what the Ark of the Covenant is.)

It was credited with helping them stay alive and communicating with God, and as it could only be used or approached or uncovered by specially ordained high priests, many people have come to great speculation about what it may or may not have been.

Now, it could have just been a biblical legend,  or perhaps a small piece of basic technology — that was lost to us at least until modern times — that helped them with a few small applications, but the Ancient Aliens people believe something crazy may have been going on. Many take the idea it could “speak to God” quite literally, in that they believe it was used to communicate with Alien beings who acted as gods to early man. The gang also speculate that it could have been used to create the miracle of the manna in the desert, may have been some kind of electrical capacitor, and even suggest that it may be hiding in a small, unassuming church in Ethiopia, where it is guarded by priests who die shortly after taking the assignment, because of the alleged power of the device.

5. Ancient Sources Allegedly Talked About The Large Hadron Collider 

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In “The God Particle” the gang discusses the discovery by CERN in 2012 of the elusive Higgs Boson. Now, the folks behind the Large Hadron Collider don’t actually want it to be called the “God Particle” but the show insists on it for the episode’s entire runtime. The Ancient Aliens gang first speculate on what damage the LHC might have done to Earth when it was used, and what other damage it might do if it were to be given more power (such as creating its own miniature black holes). After that, they first talk about the connection between physics and divinity, and then get into the weeds.

They claim that the Large Hadron Collider and its function and purpose were predicted by ancient sources. They claim that the Veda (which are the ancient Hindu scriptures) have not aged in thousands of years — which is provably untrue — and even suggest that it predicted the Large Hadron Collider. They then go on to the Mayans, whom they claim also predicted the Large Hadron Collider in their primitive artworks. As if all of this wasn’t crazy enough, they go back to the Indian theories near the end, and suggest that the Hindu god Shiva was actually an ancient alien. As for all those mythological stories about the universe ending in Hindu mythology, those can be attributed to the Large Hadron Collider being used to tear particles apart on a subatomic level.

4. Underwater Monsters May Come From Another Dimension Through Wormholes 

In “Creatures Of The Deep,” the gang go over the deep, mysterious depths of our oceans, and speculate on just what might be lurking beneath. With most of our ocean’s creatures unidentified, and millions of creatures (estimated) yet to be discovered, they wonder if many of the craziest creatures from mythology like the Kraken and the Kappa may actually be based in truth, and just be hiding deep beneath the sea.

They point out that not long ago, astronauts found plankton living in space on the outside of the space station, and this led the Ancient Astronaut Theorists to speculate that perhaps all kinds of strange ocean life could be living within our own oceans; perhaps even crazier things than our strangest legends speculate. Many of the strangest creatures in our oceans could even be alien creatures hiding out in the deep, and they believe some could even have come straight to our ocean from other worlds using wormholes, instead of even needing to bother with a spaceship at all. This would certainly make it hard to track them coming here, and would be a very hard theory to disprove. While some creatures like Nessie have been pretty handily disproved, as the area where she is expected to be is not very large and can be proven with sonar to not have a bunch of secret exits, creatures that are potentially lurking beneath the deep are a mystery that will always fascinate the human consciousness.

3. The Space Station Moon Theory (It May Not Actually Be Natural At All)

In “Space Station Moon,” the gang goes over all their craziest theories about what the moon really is… and boy, is it a doozy. Apparently, the moon is actually not at all a natural construct, and their “experts” are happy to explain to you why, as well as provide their novel idea on why the moon is almost completely hollow. At least they aren’t moon landing deniers, but they claim the astronauts were shaken upon returning, that they reported aliens through their medical radios, and that aliens even warned us to stay away from the moon.

So this brings up the real question: why were the aliens allegedly so worried about us landing on the moon? Well, the Ancient Astronaut Theorists claim that NASA is withholding the truth from the public to prevent a mass freakout, because the moon is actually an artificially made space station whose purpose is at least partially to monitor the human race. They even suggest that our military (even though they claim we didn’t go back to the moon), or possibly aliens have secret bases on the dark side of the moon. While the Space Station Moon theory is not novel to the Ancient Aliens series, they consider every possible crazy angle of it, and one of the hosts even suggests that the moon was built by time traveling Freemasons.

2. King Tut’s Curse Was Some Kind Of Technological Protection Used By Ancient Aliens

In “The Pharaoh’s Curse” the gang talk about the opening of King Tut’s Tomb in 1922. Now, the opening of the tomb sparked a fire in the imaginations of people around the entire globe. In fact, people got so into it that they were closely following Ancient Egyptian lore, and some rumor mongers claimed that the tomb had a great curse on it, and that it followed those who opened it and struck them down one by one. Seven people died, and the Ancient Aliens people are quick to point out that all of these people were involved in the opening of the tomb. However, they do fail to point out that the person who actually opened the tomb itself was never struck down, which kind of invalidates the whole curse.

Regardless, even though the curse can be traced back to the most dubious of sources, which comprise a mix of pseudo-scientist musings and old myths, the Ancient Aliens people spend most of an episode on it. They suggest the curse might be alien technology, meant to keep us from discovering the secrets of King Tut’s tomb, which may have even included the Ark of the Covenant. Of course, if it had been in the tomb we would have discovered it, so they have a handy explanation for that. According to the Ancient Astronaut Theorists on the show, the Knights Templar took it to America before we could open the tomb, and hid it on Oak Island (nicely tying Ancient Aliens and The Curse of Oak Island, which are both owned by the same production company, together). We would like to add that not only has the Curse of the Pharaoh been fully debunked over the years, but there is absolutely no evidence to even suggest the Knights Templar ever went to America, or were in possession of the alleged Ark of the Covenant.

1. The Earth Has Black Holes And This Is The Reason For The Bermuda Triangle 

In “The Earth’s Black Holes” the gang go over their belief that perhaps Earth could have its own miniature black holes that most of us know nothing about. They point to mythological stories about various points in Earth being holy, or being a place you could communicate with the gods, and suggest these were black holes. They also suggest that when Moses went up to Mount Sinai, he disappeared into a black hole and this explained his temporary disappearance. As to where he went, they suggest he traveled potentially to a completely different world, or perhaps another dimension.

Now, they also take a flight through the Bermuda Triangle in this episode to play up drama, and mistake turbulence for something strange happening before the pilot himself has to humiliate them by correcting them. They are already embarrassing themselves though, as the Bermuda Triangle has been debunked incredibly hard in recent years, and it has been proven there are no more disappearances or ship accidents there than anywhere else in the ocean.

After their romp through the Bermuda Triangle nets them nothing horrifying, they start talking about people who disappear, and some who show up months later not remembering what happened. They suggest these people disappeared through a “black hole” somewhere on earth, and then showed up later, possibly going through some kind of time distortion as well and not understanding how much time had passed. However, the biggest problem with this entire episode is that most of what they are talking about would be better described by perhaps a stargate or a wormhole. While we don’t completely understand black holes, what we do know suggests that even if they could take you to another universe, you could be completely crushed before you could get there.


History Channel Side-Hustle

“Ancient Aliens”

Treasures Lost – In the WIF of Time

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Top Tenz from WIF

 

10 Treasures Lost

In The Mists Of Time

Fifteen men on a dead man’s chest, yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum! The X marks the spot, so get your shovel ready and start digging. Money, gold and jewelry stashed away on some mysterious island usually means trouble.

From the mists of time, when mythical gods and legendary heroes roamed the Earth, though the Middle Ages and even the last couple of centuries, we have records of great treasures that seem to have vanished, leaving behind only pies in the sky. Fascinating examples of opulence and decadence, the world knelt to their power and wept at their disappearance. They witnessed the rise and fall of civilizations, and now they are gone. Or are they?

10. Blackbeard’s Treasure

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Edward Teach, better known as Blackbeard the Pirate, spent only two years preying the high seas, more than enough to extract a great treasure estimated at over $100 million. While the Spaniards were busy trying to get their hands on Mexico’s and South America’s gold and silver, Blackbeard and his men patiently waited to plunder the ships carrying the treasures to the old continent. The pirate was captured in 1718 and decapitated under the orders of British lieutenant Robert Maynard, who hung his head from his ship as trophy. In front of his executioners, Blackbeard admitted to having hid his treasure but never revealed where, saying “Only the devil and I know the whereabouts of my treasure, and the one of us who lives the longest should take it all.” This didn’t stop treasure hunters — in 1996, Blackbeard’s ship Queen Anne’s Revenge was found near Beaufort, North Carolina. Valuable artifacts have been recovered, but no sign of the precious cargo.

9. The Amber Room

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Widely considered the eighth wonder of the world, the Amber Room is a masterpiece of German and Russian fine art, offered by Wilhelm I, the King of Prussia, to his Russian ally Tzar Peter the Great as a symbol of friendship in 1716.

Made from six tons of amber and covered in gold and gemstones, the impressive chamber was worth well over $200 million at the time it was built. During World War II it disappeared without a trace, and has since been one of the world’s most coveted treasures. During the war, when the Germans attempted to bring the room back to Germany the ship transporting it might have sunk into the sea. Others claim it was transported to Konigsberg Castle, presently Kaliningrad in Germany. Could it be hidden in an abandoned mine in Thuringia? Or buried on the shores of a lagoon in the Baltic Sea? Feel like finding out?

8. Treasure of Lima

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In 1820, Peru’s capital found itself on the brink of revolution. As a precautionary measure, the viceroy decided to move the capital’s treasures into Mexico for safekeeping. Precious stones, two life-size golden statues of the Virgin Mary, and many other priceless artifacts were loaded on 11 ships. The viceroy put commander William Thompson in charge, who soon proved to be a merciless pirate. Thompson led the ships to the island of Cocos in the Indian Ocean, where he presumably buried the treasure. When finally captured, he promised to dig up the treasure in exchange for his life. On the island he pretended to lead the way and managed to escape into the jungle. Since that day, over 300 expeditions tried to locate the Treasure of Lima, estimated at over $300 million. All failed.

7. Montezuma’s Treasure

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The fall of the Aztec Empire to Spanish conquistadors reached its peak on July 1, 1520. After mortally injuring King Montezuma, Hernando Cortes ordered his men to gather all the riches of the Empire and tried to flee the territory by night. Seeking revenge, the Aztecs attacked the conquistadors near the capital of Tenochtitlan. The carnage that followed filled up Tezcuco Lake with bodies and Montezuma’s stolen treasure, countless gold and silver ornaments and an impressive collection of jewelry.

Cortes and some of his men survived and returned one year later, but the treasure had already been stashed away, protected from the conquistadors’ greed and most likely buried near Tezcuco Lake. Worth over $3 billion today, Montezuma’s treasure might also be hidden somewhere in the swamps near Mexico City, the place where the colossal city of Tenochtitlan once laid… yet generations of treasure hunters have failed to locate it.

6. Leon Trabuco’s Gold

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In the early 1930s, Mexican millionaire Leon Trabuco secretly flew to the heart of the Mexican Desert and hid a great treasure. It was the Great Depression — the dollar hit rock bottom and the price of gold was about to skyrocket. Leon Trabuco and his business partners bought as much gold as they could and stashed it away it in the hope of selling it later and getting rich. They piled up over 16 tons of gold, but they never lived to see their dream come true. Leon Trabuco kept waiting for prices to rise until a new law restricting gold commerce prevented them from selling. The gold, which could be worth close to one billion dollars today, seems to have carried a curse. Leon’s partners died within five years, followed by Trabuco himself, taking the secret of the treasure’s whereabouts to the grave.

5. Treasure of El Dorado

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A city filled with gold lost in the South American jungle sounds like a fairy tale. El Dorado is the legend of a Muisca Chieftain, a legendary leader who used to cover himself in gold dust during religious ceremonies. The true city of gold is actually Paititi, a mysterious city that might really exist.

Spaniards had been at odds with the Incas in Peru for over 40 years. The locals took shelter in the Vilcabamba Valley, where they withstood Spanish attacks for some time. When the Spaniards finally conquered the valley in 1572, it was deserted. It seems the Incas fled to the jungles to the south of Brazil, taking their treasure with them. The exact location remains unknown, although recent satellite images revealed what seem to be the ruins of vast settlements in the deforested area of Boco do Acre in Brazil. Paititi might be one of them and, if discovered, the secrets of the Incan gold might be revealed, a treasure that could be worth over $10 billion.

4. Flor do Mar

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Flor do Mar (Flower of the Sea) left Lisbon on a voyage to Malacca (modern day Malaysia) in 1505. On November 20, 1511, it shipwrecked in a reef in Sumatra with the largest treasure ever carried on-board a Portuguese ship and the largest naval treasure ever lost. Flor do Mar was returning home from Malacca loaded with gold cups, silver plates and gold ingots offered as tribute from the King of Siam to the King of Portugal. While crossing the Strait of Malacca it was caught in a violent storm and broke in half. The captain was rescued, but the treasure and many young sailors were forever lost in the merciless waves. The exact location of the shipwreck remains a mystery. If ever found, the treasure would be worth $2.6 billion in intricately worked gold objects, plus the current value of approximately 60 tons of pure gold.

3. Ark of the Covenant

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The Book of Exodus offers plenty of details when it comes to one ofChristianity’s greatest treasures. For the ancient Israelis it was the most sacred object on Earth, created by God Himself on Mount Sinai with the help of Moses. The Ark is a massive chest covered in pure gold, with a pair of wooden handles and two golden cherubim on top, their wings spreading out over the “Mercy Seat.” It contains sacred relics, including the two stone tablets with the Ten Commandments. Solomon’s Temple in Jerusalem served as home for the Ark, but when the city was looted by the Babylonians in 607 BC the population fled. When they returned 70 years later, the Ark was gone. No one knows what happened to it. Could the Israelis have hidden the Ark before the Babylonians attacked? If so, why didn’t they recover it?

Most plausible theories locate the relic in either Egypt or Ethiopia. Ethiopian legends talk about the Ark of Axum, perhaps one and the same, hidden inside the Aksum Obelisk. Archeologists have yet to explore even a fraction of the secret tunnels and mysterious labyrinths under the granite colossus. If the Ark were to ever surface, it would be considered priceless.

2. The Pharaohs’ Missing Treasure

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When Howard Carter discovered Tutankhamun’s tomb in the Valley of the Kings in 1922, he couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the precious artifacts meant to accompany the pharaoh to the other world. It took Carter ten years to finish labeling the vast treasure. Of all the tombs previously uncovered in the Valley of the Kings, King Tut’s was the only one that wasn’t completely empty. Tomb raiders may have looted them, but it all seemed to be part of one huge heist. Sowhere are the treasures of the other pharaohs?

Theories suggest the priests who oversaw the burials were the ones who knew how to evade the many booby traps inside the tombs and moved the treasures out. One of them was Herihor, a senior official and priest at the court of Ramses XI. If Herihor’s tomb is discovered, a great part of the pharaohs’ missing treasure will probably surface. And if King Tut’s burial chamber treasure is estimated at $700 million, and there are at least 24 pharaohs buried in the Valley of the Kings, you do the math.

1. Treasure of the Knights Templar

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Many legends revolve around the mysterious Knights Templar, the name behind some of the world’s greatest enigmas. The religious military order was founded in 1114 to protect Christian pilgrims on their way to the Holy Land. They soon managed to raise quite a fortune — donations and recognition made the Knights Templar the richest and most powerful military force in Europe. They possessed jaw-dropping amounts of gold and silver bullion, the crown jewels of prestigious European families and significant religious artifacts. Legend has it the Knights Templar discovered Christianity’s greatest treasure under the Temple of Solomon in Jerusalem. Unfortunately, they didn’t share the findings with the world, but it’s widely rumored that it might have something to do with the coveted Holy Grail.

The knights invented an early banking system which made them even richer, but also unpopular. By 1291, their prestige was beginning to falter. In 1307, the King of France arrested the order’s leaders and tortured them to confess to heresy and worshiping the Devil. Their lands were confiscated, but when searching their treasury they found it empty. Could the Knights have foreseen their fate and hid their billions of dollars worth of treasures?

Treasures Lost

– In the WIF of Time