Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 212

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Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 212

…Attorney Worth has located an abandoned stable on north Dearborn, the actual coach house for a Louis Sullivan designed home…

Coachhouse

North Dearborn

Also not very common in the middle of the Twentieth Century is specialized upscale livery by horse drawn carriage. Partially inspired by wife Edie’s insistence that he gives up his Checker Cab days, coupled with the inheritance left behind by his wife’s rich aunt from Jersey, Eddie Dombroski is teaming up with his cousin Rex from Western Springs on the concept of carriage rides in what is considered to be the downtown Chicago’s Loop.

There is a gaping hole in romantic conveyance in the city, in fact there are none at all. The only problem is, that despite his extensive knowledge of the byways and side streets, he has zero experience with Cleveland Bays, those 16-hand mahogany colored beauties that will tow the high-wheeled four person enclosed cabs.

Eddie is coachman to Rex’s footman, though one cannot exist without the other. Edie has broken away from her domestic chains to become the hawker for the fledgling undertaking and the three of them work together.

And seeing as Fanny has parked he fanny at that shyster Moore’s South Loop Hotel, they will be the perfect guinea pigs for this groundbreaking rebirth of a long lost mode of transportation. But he may be switching from the South Side for the North Side. Attorney Worth has located an abandoned stable on north Dearborn, just south of Lincoln Park, the actual coach house for a Louis Sullivan designed home. After clearing away the legal hindrance to keeping live farm animals, the Floridian decides he likes the home itself and buys it.

“What a wonderful place to start a family,” directing his comment to “we know who”, a “who” that is creeping up on the upper reaches of motherhood – tick-tock, tick-tock.

That puts Fanny to thinking. If he is thinking about children, he must have sexual intimacy on his mind. If he has carnal relations on his mind, then he knows that marriage must come first; which is the very same hurdle that Ace and Constance have facing them.

“Let’s get Rex and his horses into the stable first. The 28th is coming up fast and Constance wants us to meet up with Agent Daniels as soon as possible,” Fanny declares.

“After the stadium crusade is over, you’ll have to help me furnish the place.”

“I used to have simple tastes!”

To be foretold is to be forewarned. (or something like that)


Constance Caraway P.I.

Forever Mastadon


page 178

Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 206

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Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 206

…We are going back to Chicago and finish what old Satan has started…

Mark LLanuza on flickr

outdoor guy photography

outdoor guy photography

Connie and Ace are able to leave a message (about the Holy Scroll) (by Carrier Pigeon-Word of Mouth-Rumor) for Graham to wait  a bit before boarding the American Queen paddle wheel riverboat; so he is waiting, very curious as to what the fuss is about. He should trust Constance’s expressions of urgency by now.

When he gets his hands on their special delivery and briefly looking it over, he drops directly to his knees, raising both hands skyward, speechless.

“A local Wisconsin historian hinted that this was probably of divine origin,” relates Constance, “and you would not believe where we found it. Is it possible that it was intentionally placed in our path?”

Nothing should surprise her anymore. Graham certainly is not.

“Nothing is impossible for God and I truly believe that He has had His hand on you all through this entire year. This is a direct message from the Lord,” Billy concludes after consulting his on-staff Biblical scholar, “and we cannot ignore it.We are going back to Chicago and finish what old Satan has started.

“Written by hand on Holy paper, with Holy ink, wholly Holy; what a way for the Lord to communicate with us. I was fully expecting an angelic visit or God’s strong voice telling me what to do.

“There is Revival spirit spreading throughout this land and we must put on the show of our lives!” Graham has never been more convinced.

Comiskey Park Card“It is warm enough for an outdoor event, Billy,” Samuel Goldwyn is in on the meeting and still with the Crusade, even into mid-April. His keen business sense has proven invaluable. “I took the time to check with the Chicago White Sox and they are in Detroit on Saturday April 28th; why don’t we do a Comiskey Park blowout meeting?”

Goldwyn Jr. has dedicated himself to see the Crusades through and until they go back to California. He has also become the venue guru for Graham, freeing the good young Reverend to tailor his messages to each new audience.

“We will race back to see how things are shaking in Chi Town,” Race rhymes with Ace.

Constance rhymes with constant, “Let’s get back in one piece.”


Constance Caraway P.I.

Billy Graham-001

Forever Mastadon


page 173

Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 194

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Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 194

…Now back to the regularly scheduled narrative…

Switchboard

Billy Graham Telephone Prayer Switchboard

On Tuesday March 13th 1951 the Billy Graham Telephone Prayer Switchboard is lit up like a Christmas tree. Partially due to the powerful message delivered and the foresight of young Goldwyn, compassionate operators have been made available, to dispense encouraging words for thee distinct types of people:

  1. Their power went out, hence no alarm and late for work
  2. Post crusade indigestion brought on by anxiety caused by awful dreams
  3. The objectionable combination of raucous kids and rebellious pets or rebellious kids and raucous pets.

And believe it or not, those are the lucky ones of whom were at one of the first two events (Sat.-Sun.).

butFor many who attended the Monday night Crusade, a rousing success can be claimed by all accounts; but…

…But the car ride

…But the bus trip

…But the airplane flight home

…No buts about it… were a disaster.

Related imageStarting as cold rain, leading to freezing fog morphing into freezing rain, weather related accidents, injuries and even deaths are directly attributed to the hazardous driving. Electric trolley lines are snapped by the weight of the ice. Public transit buses crawl along at a snail’s pace. The two major airports are shuttered until the warmth of the morning sun can melt away the hoarfrost.

But God does not abandon His faithful children. Once upon a similar midnight weary, on the heels of the Devil’s dark dare, He (God) took everything away from his faithful servant Job, to test Job’s faith and resolve. And only after Job had lost his possessions, his family, his health (without renouncing his faith in God), was that Royal Wager won and Job’s life was restored; all those blessings and a thousand times more.

As will He restore these recently converted and very inconvenienced in the “Town Without Pity”.

And to be sure, any blow dealt to Pentateuch will be swift and the accompanying drop precipitous.


Constance Caraway P.I.

Forever Mastadon


page 163 (end Ch. 16)

Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 192

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Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 192

…the human mind is a subconscious garbage can, which occasionally empties its contents in random order…

Fanny and Worth’s perplexity and confusion is shared by the other Libbyites, who as a group are subjected to similar horrible alternate worlds and nefarious nuisances as the other run-of-the-mill crusaders.

Other sample Libbyite dreams:

Nightmares2

— Eddie D. finds himself surrounded by giant crustaceans, who are avenging their friends’ death by cocktail sauce.

— Ace gets no warning of landing gear failure upon landing The Blue Ridge Angel, crashing nose first into three houses on the east side of Central Ave.

Constance watches in horror as Ace’s plane exceeds airport boundaries, bursting in flames, killing all aboard.

— Martin Kamen cannot find his way out of the escape tunnel beneath Argonne Lab, which has turned into a maze without an exit.

— Jennifer Goldwyn finds herself married to that Hollywood rapscallion Charlie Chaplain… who communicates with subtitles.

— Sister Mary Joseph is working as an exotic dancer at Atlantis Gentlemen’s Club, with dollar bills overflowing her bad “habit”.

— Edie D. sees her husband fall into a state of dementia, forgetting all those family stories about his multitudinous cousins. (She secretly hopes the dream does not end)

— Jesse James discovers that he was adopted by J. Edgar Hoover and that his real given name is Doogie Hoover.

Oh, the subtle cruelty of dreams in the human mind, likened to a subconscious garbage can, which has to empty its contents in random bizarre order. Good luck making much sense of it all.


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Forever Mastadon


page 162

Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 190

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Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 190

…Like an uncoordinated symphony conductor, the Dark One sends out his legions, for his version of midnight madness…

Unwilling to take this whole revival thing sitting down, Pentateuch has arranged for a not-so-special reward for anyone attending the Graham meetings. His has amassed every available demonic spirit for the purpose of polluting any feel-good images that they have taken home with them.

  • Traffic tie-ups for travelers w/flash freezing fog to make roadways impassable
  • Grotesque nightmares for those newly inspired dreamers, the ones able to fall asleep
  • Misbehaving pets and children to greet them – diversionary domestic derailleur(s)
  • Grumbling religious doubters at every turn, stealing the joy from their mass evangelical experience
  • Widespread machine malfunctions: fridges, stoves, laundry rebelling at every attempted use

Like an uncoordinated symphony conductor, the Dark One sends out his legions, for his version of midnight madness.

And not everyone receives the same exact mischief.

Some, like the Libbyites, are spared any logistic inconvenience on the way home that night, but not the subconscious discord.

There are the already irretrievably lost, those who have unwittingly subscribed to Satan’s temptations with no enhancement necessary.

Satans Place-001

In fact, the next day, a city wide blackout results from a balky Commonwealth Edison power grid; shared funkiness for the rest of Chicagoland.

But Pentateuch is allowed but a brief 24 hours, one day to do his best damage, allowed being the keyword.  Divine intervention will cap the harm at a mischievously low level.


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Forever Mastadon


page 160

Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 188

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Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 188

…Here are a few (unedited) conversations from Chicago Stadium Owner’s Box…

***Martin to Connie: “I don’t think I ever took the time to thank you for everything. You came all the way from Florida and made a stranger’s abduction your own personal fight and look at the results,” he spreads his arms wide, pointing out the unexpected fruit of her efforts.

Constance to Marty: “We’ve gone from a missing person investigation to a worldwide television broadcast,” what a difference 80 days makes.—

***Eddie D. to the food guy: “Do you have any more of those little flat things that taste like fish?”

The maître d’ to Eddie the buffet destroyer in the owners’ suite: “Do you mean the Baltimore Crab Cakes (you gluttonous heathen), yes I will get some more.”—

***Daniels to the Angel’s pilot: “Do you believe that those K.C. CAA guys were legitimate? In my world, I am a firm believer in Cause & effect.” The string of accidents is pointing toward a negative response.

Ajax Bannion to the G-Man: “Did I suspect that anyone would sabotage the plane? Hell no! I did my preflight inspection around the same time and didn’t see anything suspicious, but I did get their names. Here,” he hands over his pre-flight manifest.—

***Fanny to her new legal eagle: “What are your plans after the crusade program in done, and the days to come? she certainly doesn’t want Worth taking a midnight stroll or the next flight back to Tallahassee… without her.

Worth Moore to the reason he is staying in Chicago: “I am in no rush to head back to Florida Fanny. In fact, I was hoping that you would come up a visit my hotel suite, it has two king-sized beds.” The number of beds reference is to assure Fanny that his intentions are honorable.—

***AB to CC: I think I heard that lawyer asking Fanny up to his room. Maybe we could rope off the second floor at Kimbark for the night?”

CC to AB: We’ll see.”


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Forever Mastadon


page 158

Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 185

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Constance Caraway P.I. ~ Episode 185

…Pentateuch has been crossed and triple-crossed, with a double cherry on top…

There can be heard a mighty roar from out the Lake of Fire, the whole Earth growlsRed from within.

What could trigger such a geophysical belch? “WILLARD LIBBY IS ALIVE!” not a rejoicing regurgitation from Pentateuch.

Since, from the earliest reports at Elgin State Hospital, when he learned of Willard Libby’s unintended, but accepted death, the Dark One has been kept in the dark. There is not a sorer loser, on Earth or below, that exists. It may be, that the short phrase ‘seeing red’, was coined in 1951.

Suddenly Forever Mastadon and World Agnostica Unlimited are rendered meaningless. All the earthly co conspirators, like the Justice Department a.k.a. the FBI, Canisso and his thugs, McGraw-Hill Publishing, L. Dick Cannon or the newest saboteurs from the CAA, they all can go their merry way, quite possibly reuniting in hell.

“Losers be damned every one of them! I’ve been duped by Cephus, whom I trusted, and a female weakling with her ragamuffin mercenaries. I knew there had to be a reason she was putting her friends in front of me, ripe for peril. WILLARD LIBBY IS ALIVE & SO IS THAT MISERABLE MARTIN KAMEN!”

And though he never truly thought that Cephus(Daniels) had perished in the Argonne fire, he could never focus on the man’s countenance enough to be sure. Even the chief demon has a fatal flaw.

The fact is: He has been crossed and triple-crossed, with a cherry on top.

betrayed

With hands lifted out, gyrating with his greatest urgency, the Dark Deceiver summons the worst of his fallen angels to come to battle. No more mister nice guy or withholding his ire about a situation from which he has lost a grip.

A war is erupting, with The Chicago Stadium as the Holy Battlefield.


Constance Caraway P.I.

Angry

Forever Mastadon


page 157