Air Force One Fun Facts

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Things You Probably

Didn’t Know About

Air Force One

air-force-one

Air Force One, a.k.a. that enormous plane that carts the president around, is one of the most enduring symbols of American power. To this end, the planes carrying the Air Force One designation are filled to the brim with bleeding edge technology and a bunch of other cool stuff we’re going to talk about… well, right now. For example, did you know…

 10. There are Massive Rolls of Carpet for it Lying Around Somewhere

most of the things aboard Air Force One come fitted as standard, like bulletproof windows and, we presume, high-tech anti-ninja technology, the President and his spouse have some control over what the interior of the plane looks like so it better suits their tastes. Much like a fancy car, the President, or more specifically the First Lady, can choose the color of the interior of the plane. To this end, they can make it as pimp or spartan as they like.

This, coupled with the fact the plane is specially equipped with the ability to communicate via everything from morse code to email, and can fly thousands of feet higher than even most military planes, means it could theoretically stay aloft, beaming down freedom, forever. In reality the plane could probably only stay aloft for a few months before it needed to stop for food (in a pinch even this could be delivered in mid-air), which is probably a good thing considering…

9. It Can Fly Forever

In the event these systems all fail, Air Force One is built sturdy enough to weather an undisclosed number of direct missile hits and could probably smash into the ground at Mach 3 and still not kill anyone aboard. Not that you’d ever get anywhere near the plane, given that it can fly in the upper stratosphere and secretly call on supersonic jets to aid it over any allied country. Even if you managed to do enough damage to hurt the President, he’d probably be fine, because it can stay in the air forever.

8. Everybody Aboard is a Picky Eater

Like with everything else, no expense is spared when it comes to the kitchen aboard Air Force One and prior to a flight, secret service agents will painstakingly seek out and purchase the freshest, highest-quality ingredients one at a time from nearby stores to minimize the risk of the President being poisoned.

The gourmet chefs working aboard Air Force One are said to be able to cook virtually any foodstuff known, are trained in virtually all culinary disciplines, and have access to every kind of cooking implement possible (except a deep fat fryer, for safety reasons). This is an issue because the most popular foodstuff aboard is burger and fries. Yes, despite Air Force One being basically a flying 5-star restaurant, most people aboard, including the President, normally just order burgers and sandwiches.

While the food has gotten healthier, mostly thanks to the efforts of First Lady Michelle Obama, it’s noted that journalists still mostly opt for sandwiches, coffee and soda, with the kitchen going as far as stocking peanut butter for especially picky eaters who don’t want to eat any of the fancier fare Air Force One’s chefs can cook up. While officially Air Force One does serve balanced meals, anecdotally most people just eat junk food, partly because everyone except the President is charged for their meal, with the exception of a free bag of M&M’s every person aboard is given after a flight.

Not that the President is immune from encountering food they don’t like. For example, George H.W. Bush is said to have literally ordered that brocoli be banned from Air Force One because he hated it that much, once stating: “I do not like broccoli, and I haven’t liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I’m president of the United States, and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli.”

7. They Destroy Everything that Doesn’t Work

As a symbol of the American presidency, most everything aboard Air Force One is fittingly adorned with either the presidential seal, the current sitting president’s initials, or both. On top of this, every item aboard is polished, cleaned and meticulously maintained to avoid the embarrassment of a foreign leader or diplomat being given a chipped mug to drink out of, or a journalist tweeting a picture of a dirty towel. You know, stuff that would make the President and, by extension, America look bad.

To deter thieves, extensive checks are carried out on everyone leaving Air Force One and you can be sure anyone selling an official Air Force One toilet roll holder on eBay would be soundly detained and questioned by the FBI. As an added measure, anytime anything stops working on Air Force One or becomes unacceptably damaged or dirty, it is quickly removed, pulverised into dust and then burnt. An extreme measure we’ll admit but one that ensures the air of mystique about the impossibly high-standards aboard Air Force One is maintained. Hey, speaking of that…

6. Every Member of the Staff Could Kick Your Ass

 Like any plane, Air Force One has flight attendants and other staff who perform basic custodial duties aboard the plane, like telling you where the emergency exit is and handing out little bags of peanuts. Unlike a regular plane, these staff members are all highly trained military personnel with spotless records, who are carefully screened and subsequently trained to handle nearly any conceivable emergency. As a result, every member of the crew aboard Air Force One is well versed in emergency survival techniques, weapons handling, and generally messing up your day.

In other words, every member of staff aboard Air Force One, from the pilot to the guy who cleans the toilet, could snap your neck with a rolled up newspaper or beat you to death with a shoe without breaking a sweat. Essentially, while flying through the air in his big plane, the President is surrounded by an entourage of highly capable killing machines who also just so happen to be able to make a mean margarita or whip up a steak on the presidential grill. As if this wasn’t enough, when he takes off he is also…

5. Being Watched by a Special Team of Snipers

The President is an important dude, and spends much of his time being flanked, shadowed and watched over by an elite team of bodyguards versed in 80 plus ways to obliterate a human testicle at 80 yards, with their eyebrows. Specifically, whenever the Commander-in-Chief is about to board Air Force One, though, he is also being protected by a special team of sharpshooters armed with 50 caliber sniper rifles. Why 50 caliber? So that in case someone tries to hijack the plane, they can shoot through the normally bulletproof windows and decorate the cockpit with the part of their brain that thought hijacking Air Force One was a good idea.

These snipers are amongst the best, if not the best the US has at its disposal, and are said to be able to hit a target the size of a dog’s butthole from a half mile away. Their identity is obviously a secret, and they’re additionally used to protect the President during speeches and possibly while he checks his mail. And while we’re on the subject of secrets…

4. Who Made the Toilet is a Big Secret

As noted, everything aboard Air Force One is (usually custom) made to the highest possible standard of quality, using the finest available materials. Now, you’d think any company making a product that was being used aboard freaking Air Force One would boast about that fact because, well, why they hell wouldn’t you? As it turns out though, no company involved with manufacturing anything involved with the plane is permitted to advertise that fact, mostly due to it being a possible security risk, and partly because it’s kind of tacky. This means that we have literally no idea who made the toilet, or indeed any item aboard Air Force One.

The government is such a stickler for this that it sent a very stern letter to the company that manufactured the oxygen masks aboard Air Force One after they advertised that fact in a magazine in 2001. This is a shame for the companies who do make the items aboard Air Force One, because along with being associated with the presidency, they would also get to advertise their products fly…

3. On a Nuclear Bomb-Proof Plane

Like the staff, Air Force One is prepared for virtually any possible emergency scenario and is equipped to deal with nearly any potential threat, from a rogue jet firing sidewinder missiles at it, to a nuclear explosion. Along with being immune to the effects of an EMP blast, such as one produced by an exploding nuclear warhead, Air Force One is shielded against conventional damage in the form of bulletproof plating and flares to deter heat seeking missiles.

 But here’s the best part: after the First Lady or President picks out a particular style of carpet or type of soft furnishing they want to decorate the plane with, some hapless sap from the Secret Service has to go get a special fire-retardant version specially made, because regular carpet is seldom thermite proof. Because everything aboard Air Force One has to be spotless, this carpet is replaced frequently, leading to a massive stockpile of it being kept in a secret location in case someone spills beer all over the floor or something.

 2. There’s a Special Fridge Full of Blood on Board

The full specs of Air Force One have never been disclosed but we do know that it has a fully stocked medical bay staffed by seasoned medical professionals. So prepared is this medical bay that it carries, at all times, an emergency supply of blood, drugs and vaccines for most known diseases, poisons and illnesses and is specially stabilized so that doctors aboard could give someone open heart surgery during an emergency take off. You know, if they really had to.

Even better, if they had to, all the potential assassin would see is a fiery ball of freedom ascending to the heavens because…

1. Air Force One is Polished to a Mirror Sheen

The extreme efforts the government goes to in maintaining Air Force One can be no better summed up than by the exterior of the plane itself, which is said to be polished to such an offensively bright mirror sheen, you can use it to make sure your hair is suitably on point.

 Though it’s likely few people reading this will ever get all that close to Air Force One, people who have are often shocked by just how perfectly clean and shiny the exterior of the craft is, with some noting that workers sometimes wear sunglasses while polishing, buffing and otherwise maintaining it. Are there more interesting facts about Air Force One? Probably, but we think the fact that the plane is maintained to such an extent it could potentially blind foreign leaders with sheer bling is a pretty strong note to end on.

Air Force One

Fun Facts

Recasting Indiana Jones – WIF Casting Couch

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 Actors Who Could Replace

Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones

Harrison Ford is over 70 years old, a fact that isn’t going to change anytime soon. When Sean Connery played Ford’s father in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Connery was younger than Ford is now. Let’s put it another way: when George Hall played “Old Indy” in the Young Indiana Jones Chronicles, he was only 5 years older than Ford is now.

We love Harrison Ford, but Indiana Jones to iconic a character to age like us mere mortals. While you can cast a movie with Ford portraying Old Indy, you’ll need someone else to play Young Indy during the actual adventures. Might we suggest …

10. Chris O’Donnell

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Yes, Chris O’Donnell played Robin in one of the most universally panned Batman movies ever. If that is all that you know about Chris O’Donnell though, please watch NCIS: Los Angeles, Scent of a Woman, or even The Three Musketeers. O’Donnell was also completely underrated in the adaptation of the John Grisham novel The Chamber. O’Donnell can do action sequences, has a really pleasant and likable sense of humor, and is also convincingly intelligent. The latter, for the record, is the main reason that Keanu Reeves was left off of this list.

9. Sam Rockwell

sam-rockwell

In 1999, Sam Rockwell played the hapless Guy in Galaxy Quest, as well as the horrifying Wild Bill in The Green Mile. People literally had to be told that it was the same guy, which both exemplifies how good of a character actor the man is, and also explains why you probably don’t know his name.

Getting so far into character that people forget the actor is a trait that Ford himself initially tried to emulate, by the way. Ford was once told by a producer that a producer could see Tony Curtis play a bag boy and still know that Tony Curtis was a movie star. Ford responded that he thought we were supposed to simply see a bag boy, and not an actor.

Rockwell has done Shakespeare, comedy, and action. Given half a chance, people would debate Rockwell versus Ford with the same veracity that they now debate Kirk versus Picard.

8. Joseph Gordon-Levitt

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Kevin Smith was once asked why he suggested Ben Affleck for Daredevil. Smith responded that Affleck was such a versatile actor that Affleck was his response for everything.

Well, Joseph Gordon-Levitt has fit into the Affleck “would be good for anything” persona quite well. Gordon-Levitt is quickly becoming one of the most critically acclaimed and trusted actors in the adventure set. Movies such as Looper and The Dark Knight Rises show that Gordon-Levitt could bring a certainly believably to a role like Indy. Gordon-Levitt also seems to possess the sort of improvisational vulnerability and intelligence required of the esteemed Dr. Henry “Indiana” Jones Jr.

7. Noah Wyle

noah-wyle

It is no small thing that Steven Spielberg is the producer of the series Falling Skies. Wyle has portrayed intelligence through years of work on ER. The other side of the coin is the Librariantelevision movies, which happened to be an awful lot of popcorn fun. They were thoroughly in the vein of almost everything we love about Indiana Jones movies. This would indicate that an older Wyle may well be ready to step into the role of Indy.

6. Matt Damon

Matt-Damon

On the IFC show Bollywood Hero, Chris Kattan asked a producer, “What happened to all those action roles Harrison Ford used to have?” The producer responded “They all went to Matt Damon.” While it is depressing to even mention the continuing career of Chris Kattan, the point made is valid. Once Ford started getting a little old for his go-to roles, Matt Damon started to step in. Damon played “super intelligent” convincingly in Good Will Hunting, and the Bourne movies established Damon as a legitimate action star. All in all, Damon would be instantly believable as Indiana Jones.

5. Jason Sudeikis

Jason-Sudeikis

Write the following down, or at least remember where you read it: Jason Sudeikis is on the verge of becoming one of the biggest stars in this decade. Sudeikis really just lacks a signature role to put him there, and what could be more signature than the hat and whip?

Sudeikis’ roots in Saturday Night Live would oddly suit him well in the role of Indiana Jones. Lets face facts, Indy is more than a bit of a cad with the women. Jones is also a very smooth operator. Another great facet of the Jones mythos is that he often finds himself in ridiculous cliffhangers worthy of the best of Jackie Chan. Those comic / action situations often requires equally ridiculous solutions. For example, Jones once hung a guy on a ceiling fan. He also backed an opponent into a whirling propeller blade. Both sides of Jones could and would suit Sudeikis perfectly.

4. Josh Brolin

josh-brolin

Josh Brolin has definitely emerged as one of the better actors of his generation. Also, quite frankly, Josh just looks the part more than virtually anyone else. The thing that really ranks Brolin so high on this list though, is how he seems to play younger versions of people so well. Brolin nailed the role of Young K in Men In Black III. You can freely debate the merits of the rest of the movie, but Brolin made you believe. Brolin also did the same with a younger version of George W. Bush in Oliver Stone’s W. Brolin just has that uncanny ability to fit himself into other people’s skin. With Brolin’s build, talent, and good looks, his performance as Indiana Jones would rise far above simple mimicry, and straight to the level of true cinema.

3. Sean Patrick Flannery

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Honestly, why not go with someone with experience in the role? Sean Patrick Flannery played Indy in the Young Indiana Jones Chronicles. Flannery went on to star in the cultfavorite The Boondock Saints, as well as its sequel. Flannery has a great familiarity with the character, and performed Indy admirably. Meanwhile, time has given Flannery a certain “edge” to his performances. Flannery has also grown increasingly bold with his character choices, which would only make his second go-round with the character better and more satisfying. Hey, if Chris Evans can grow from the Human Torch into Captain America, then Sean Patrick Flannery should certainly be allowed to grow from young Indiana Jones into older Indiana Jones.

2. Daniel Craig

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Daniel Craig is one of the few actors who can claim to be a spiritual successor to both Sean Connery and Harrison Ford. Of course, Craig took over the role of James Bond (with the personal endorsement of Connery himself.) Craig also got the praise of Harrison Ford when they worked together on Cowboys and Aliens. Craig also lent his voice to Steven Spielberg’sThe Adventures of Tintin, and also starred in Spielberg’s Munich movie. OK, Cowboys and Aliens may have sucked every egg in the chicken farm, but Craig looked awesome in what was essentially an Indy throwback outfit. The only possible roadblock toward Craig portraying Indy might be the number of commitments he already has over the next few years.

1. Joaquin Phoenix

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River Phoenix’s death was a tragedy on multiple levels. The world has almost forgotten what an incredible actor was lost. In roughly ten minutes, at the beginning of Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade, River Phoenix established himself as the future of the Indy franchise. Sadly, that would never come to be. However, Joaquin has successfully managed to step out of his brother’s shadow with a masterful career on film.  From portraying historical characters such as Commodus and Johnny Cash, to appearing in critically acclaimed fare such as The Master,Phoenix has established himself as one of the most talented and quirky actors of his generation. Not only would Phoenix portraying Jones further his brother’s legacy, it would put a legitimate Oscar-worthy actor in the role of Indiana Jones.

Recasting Indiana Jones

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