Puns w/a Melody #23

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Puns w/a Melody #23

To add to the punishment, Satan made all the tormented souls listen to elevator music. The Hells Are Alive With the Sounds of Muzak.

What do you call a musician who steals sheet music? A clef-to maniac.

Classical music is better than Mozart forms.

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Was Noel Coward afraid of traditional Christmas music?

I wanted to be a clarinetist but I couldn’t reed music.

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The optometrist moonlighted as a jazz musician so he could continue to improve-eyes.


Did you hear about the vampire who used to torture his victims with music? His Bach was worse than his bite.

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Old musicians never die, they are just disconcerted.

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Musicians need a leader because they don’t know how to conduct themselves.

Puns w/a Melody


Nearer to Heaven, Closer to Hell

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Noël Coward

“I don’t know what Chicago’s coming to — the higher the buildings the lower the morals.”

― Noël CowardCollected Sketches and Lyrics

Tall Buildings

“Mr. Coward actually used London as the city in the queet–my editorial meddling.”