WIF Puns #26 – The Bright Lights of Fame

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82855391bQuotable Quotes 001

 

Emily Dickinson

“I’m nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there ’s a pair of us—don’t tell!
They ’d banish us, you know. How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!”

Emily Dickinson, The Complete Poems

 

1.

The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.

2. An electrician is a bright spark who knows what’s watt.
3. The sun was bright on a dry, cloudless morning, but later it waned.
4. Those who study the moon are optimists. They look at the bright side.
5. The brightest day of the week is Sun-day

 

1.

A Hall of Fame recently opened to honor outstanding female soldiers. It was a WAC’s Museum.

2. Derringer had one shot at fame.
3. Dorothy’s dog, of the Wizard of Oz fame, always eats his food entirely – he never leaves any scraps because it’s in toto.
4. Gladys the seamstress was recently inducted into the Pin Pushers Hall of Fame. I guess now she is a status thimble.
5. A hairdresser for a movie star had a brush with fame.

 

The Bright Lights of Fame

Lawyers — Need ’em, Too Bad

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Will Rogers

“The minute you read something that you can’t understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. ”

― Will Rogers

Carl Sandburg

“The Lawyers Know Too MuchTHE LAWYERS, Bob, know too much.
They are chums of the books of old John Marshall.
They know it all, what a dead hand wrote,
A stiff dead hand and its knuckles crumbling,
The bones of the fingers a thin white ash.
The lawyers know
a dead man’s thoughts too well.

In the heels of the higgling lawyers, Bob,
Too many slippery ifs and buts and howevers,
Too much hereinbefore provided whereas,
Too many doors to go in and out of.

When the lawyers are through
What is there left, Bob?
Can a mouse nibble at it
And find enough to fasten a tooth in?

Why is there always a secret singing
When a lawyer cashes in?
Why does a hearse horse snicker
Hauling a lawyer away?
The work of a bricklayer goes to the blue.
The knack of a mason outlasts a moon.
The hands of a plasterer hold a room together.
The land of a farmer wishes him back again.
Singers of songs and dreamers of plays
Build a house no wind blows over.
The lawyers—tell me why a hearse horse snickers hauling a lawyer’s bones.”

― Carl SandburgAnthology of magazine verse for 1920

 

Lawyers