Zoom — Zoom

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Zoom — Zoom

For all you “Writing is Fun-damental”  junkies (all 10 of you dears) and viewers of SIXTY MINUTES LITE (your imaginary television gets miraculous reception), I am about to hit the road for the homeland of my forefathers; I only had one father not four, but Wisconsin is that destination.

Thanks to wi-fi, I will do a travelogue, in the style of http://www.believersandfaith.com and its “Vagabond Tales”. In the case of “believers”, I visited a different church (or 2) every weekend for 40 weeks.

Not so here, but here is a preview:

  • Lunch with high school friend who lives in Appleton

  • 2 great days with my wonderful family

  • My very 1st ever attempt at prime rib

  • Living & dying with every play of the GB Packer playoff game

  • 600 miles of round-trip smiles

I am positive that I will be coming away with a unique take on this rare mini-vacation from this horrible Illinois winter; with the blinding snow flurries  and  intolerable wind-chills  near freezing.

Wait a minute!!! I am going to places where snow is measured in feet and overnight temps drag the thermometer down to zero or below. Oh well.

Dear Heavenly Father;

“Thank you for lower gasoline prices, a reliable automobile, and the good sense to know east from west from north and south (without the need of GPS)!”

Your faithful servant,

Gwenny

PS  It would have been nice to have Florida relatives….. no California, wait Hawaii. 

#1 Ingredient

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#1 Ingredient

Have you ever looked at the ingredient listings on products; any products edible or not, potable or not? The protocol for the labeling is ‘greatest to least’, with some unpronounceable chemical at the bottom: nail polish remover lists  denatonium benzoate. That sounds like something in an atomic weapon, though blasting your favorite shade of red off is much too extreme and the all that label tell you is that the polish is very flammable.”

I won’t get into the issue of polish vs. Polish.

Most formulaic things have a secret formulation, so as we cannot copy, reproduce, steal it. Colas are famous for secracy, as is the KFC breading.

But the #1 ingredient in just about any consumable (consumer) product is water,of which 3/4 of Earth is comprised. 90% of our bodies are water (and I want to lose 20 lbs of that @8 pounds/gallon=2.4 gallons), but have resorted to one of Jillian Michaels‘ (Ripped in Thirty) videos to accomplish that. I am a Biggest Loser for things other than weight.

She is only 5’2″? No wonder she only weighs 115!

Occupation

Personal trainer

Not a very flattering picture, huh? I bet the editor of Wikipedia went thru one of her programs.

Her 90% and mine are different, but God used the very same water to make mankind in His image.

And water is uncontrolable without a container. I am blessed with a larger container.

Gwenny Hoff for SIXTY MINUTES LITE

Have you ever noticed?

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Have you ever noticed, that the older you get, the drugs you take have a new meaning; once they were for pleasure at great risk, now those pills allow us to hang onto a life lived well?”

 

–Gwenny Hoff for SIXTY MINUTES LITE

Comings and Goings

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Comings and Goings

It’s our turn fellow Midwesteners. 

“Have you ever wondered why mid-America is generally spared the worst of what Mother Nature has to give out?” Gwenny’s college major was meteorology, despite ditching the field for Science Fiction.

Sure we get snow and cold, in a string of months appropriately named winter. We grudgingly anticipate it, readying our shovels, blowers, salt, and mittens. If you take away the occasional crippling blizzard, we can deal with the rest of it.

  • Floods are rare

  • Tornadoes are hit a miss

  • Heat waves……get used to them

Earthquakes,….pashaw?, Hurricanes….hardly?, Sandstorms….what desert?, Typhoons…try & burst our balloon.

“So as go to Grandma’s or to that holiday party and family/friends come by to share the promise of a new year, please drive carefully, drink & eat in moderation, and be thankful for our underrated climate.”

Gwenny Hoff for Sixty Minutes Lite.