THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 100 !!!

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Space Family McKinney

THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 100

…“Here are the heroes of GLF together again,”…

 

 

“Here are the heroes of GLF together again,” a stray female employee from LSC/Okaloosa and longtime crusher on Roy speaks with a hint of sarcasm. “Doesn’t a crisis make for strange bedfellows?”

Roy has been deflecting loosely-founded assumptions with phrases like, ‘not dating’, ‘a misunderstanding’, ‘they are just friends’, etc, etc……

 

“In that case Roy, the next time you come over to Lovell, I’ll have a good “home cooked” dinner waiting for you, you remember where I live right?” The woman is smug, glaring at Francine as if to imply that the TV personality has rudimentary domestic skills.

“Yes, I mean no, well maybe I will keep that in mind,” he replies diplomatically, having dated the older woman briefly, but not more than once, that is if you don’t count that Christmas party in ‘22.

After the parade of miss-takers and assumers has dried up, there comes the opportunity for the rubber to hit the road. “That was very sweet of you, including me with your gift that is,” her words mitigate, her intentions questionable.

“You seem to be quite popular with the ladies Roy, you know, pot roast and old lace,” she cannot resist countering that panhandle (FL) pussycat.

“She was a decent secretary, but as for her cooking?”

“I’m giving you a hard time Roy. Like I said, it was nice to include me, but I did look a little clueless, some warning would have helped me not look so….. clueless.”

“I was caught off guard when I saw you walking in right behind me. I thought it would be a thrill to have you giving them a gift…my lame reasoning behind that gadget and the card, I love those boys.”

“And they love you, that is plain to see, you are a great guy.”
“Can I get you another drink?”
“One more, then I need to be going. My phone is lighting up my purse.”
“The station calls you on your days off?”

“No, I have been avoiding my fiancé, some boring media banquet he wanted me to go to. Sometimes he treats me like a station commodity, not a future wife.”

“Just what are her intentions?”   Author Gwenny

THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 100

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Contents TRT

THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 99

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THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 99

…Roy looks for that back-forty boulder to hide behind…

Braden has been slowly dismantling the many-gift-mountain of cards, boxes, giftwrap and tissue. There are some meant to be shared, ‘Deke & Gus’. There are many specifically labeled either ‘Deke’ or ‘Gus’. Others are anonymous tributes to The Space Family McKinney.

By sheer coincidence and not divine intervention, we think, Francine and Roy’s packages are the last to be unwrapped. The givers of said gifts are still standing near one another, having ooo-ed, aah-d, and clapped politely throughout the process, which has run past daylight’s influence.

Most everyone has done the math or eliminated themselves from belonging to the boxes. Fate is once again shining a spotlight on that reluctant featured pairing, still trying to sort out their feelings, once they get past continuing awkward social situation.

The lady-well-wisher’s carton is next to last, opened with genuine excitement by Gus, “Channel 13 News Crew jackets look Deke!”

She was afraid people would think her a self-promoter, “It’s the same one worn by our cameramen and grips.”

“Way kool Miss Bouchette, all the kids at school can drool.”

The final unopened gift belonged to Roy.

“Read the card first Deke,” if Braden skips that part, it would be fine with Roy, who knows exactly how he signed the card.

Too late!!

“2 the two finest young men we know.
With Love and friendship,                           
Uncle Roy and Channel 13 Francine”

The young man reads it loud and proud.

Too many twos, two many 2s and if there was a rock big enough to hide behind, Roy would have preferred it to this. The boys do not think about motivation when it comes to birthdays.

“A 4-D Galaxy Planet Asteroid Tracker by Intel, wow just like the one in your office Uncle Roy…and Francine?”

Roy wanted to explain Francine’s duplicity, had he known how to. Some things are better left to wondering.

The agreeable crowd subdivides into smaller groups, to sample Braden’s BBQ skills—-and gossip.

Roy looks for that back-forty boulder to hide behind. Francine is just plain curious, but they are overtaken by the shuffled throng.

“I can’t believe how generous people are. Deke & Gus are so lucky,” Aunt Sassy (from the old country) shakes Roy’s hand like she was trying to bust it loose from his shoulder socket, while eyeing Francine up and down.

“Now Sassy, don’t break his wrist,” insists the senior member of the McKinney relative contingent Savta Inga Bergestrom (from the other old country). “You two look like you are having a wonderful time.”

The Old Country Origins

THE RETURN TRIP – Episode 99

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Contents TRT

Punny Men #6

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#6

#6

Punny Men #6

When cave men got together they formed clubs.

Some men view marriage as a matter of wife and debt.

Image result for marriage

Men are like steel because they are worthless when they lose their temper.

Image result for steel

 

When women enter middle age, it gives men a pause.

Image result for menopause


Punny Men #6

Females Rule – Males…..are Mere Men

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Top 10 Reasons the American Future is Female

 

Ever since the first American woman said “I deserve a right to vote,” we knew there was trouble coming. And guess what? From the available trends and data, it looks like we are looking at a future where American women as a whole have it better than American men. Even though it’s kind of un-American to think of people as collectives instead of as individuals, here are ten significant factors.

10. Male Health Is Awful

Health

If you’ve ever touched any surface or looked into any corner not immediately visible in a bachelor pad, it might not surprise you to find out that a male bachelor pad is 15 times germier than a bachelorette pad. This is just one of the many contributing factors to the fact men are in general sicker than women. This is actually going to prove more serious than us guys would like to admit: a higher amount of colds, bouts of the flu, and general sickness are big contributors to Alzheimer’s disease. So by the time there’s all that social security and retirement money available, seems like she’ll be the only one sane enough to use it. Don’t get me started on health insurance.

Sources: 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41514712/ns/health-mens_health/t/dirty-truth-bachelor-pads-have-times-more-germs/

http://www.thehealthage.com/man-flu-proof-scientists-male-species-wimp-colds/0120/

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1211860/How-catching-cold-worsens-Alzheimers-Common-infections-double-rate-decline.html

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Alzheimers/male-brains-decline-sooner-female/story?id=11553164

9. The Male Unemployment Rate is Higher

unemployed

While most of us non-evil types were hurt pretty badly by the recession, women might really, really be beneficiaries of it in the long run. Of late, the male unemployment rate is 10.4% in America while the female is approximately 8%. Among the various reasons is the fact that men were, on average, paid significantly more than their female counterparts. The bigger they are…

Sources:

http://www.npr.org/blogs/money/2010/07/07/128359804/unemployment-rate-men-vs-women

http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/womens-health/articles/2011/08/23/in-tough-times-jobless-men-embrace-housework

8. Male Education is Dropping

stupid

Toptenz is very lucky to have plenty of nice ladies handy to read our articles to us, because, you see, education trends are skewing heavily, heavily in female favor. It’s not just college graduation rates but 7% less male students graduate high school than female students. So yeah, looks like the need for ladies that read for us is just going to expand.

Sources:

http://www.prb.org/Articles/2011/gender-gap-in-education.aspx

http://www.edweek.org/ew/articles/2010/06/10/34execsum.h29.html

7. Boys Are Inferior Babies

baby boys

For some reason, some weirdoes seem to treat dead babies like a big or serious deals, so it’ll just be the facts for this one. Male infant mortality rates are as much as 30% higher in developed counties and even in some developing countries where the female is usually considered less valuable (e.g., India.) This hints at a larger trend that will be expanded upon later.

Sources:

http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/1310570/male_infant_fatality_rate_higher_than_female_infants

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2011-04-15/pune/29421213_1_infant-mortality-girl-child-male-child

6. There are an Expanding Number of Female Millionaires

jk rowling

Yes, men still lead the pack by a wide margin as far as billionaires go, but trends indicate that with their higher amount of education, increased business opportunities, and better health, women are going to be overtaking men in many areas of financial security within your lifetime (if you’re female. If you’re a guy, you’ll probably have done something to take yourself out first.) And an article by the UK’s Telegraph reported the estimation that women will control 60% of Great Britain’s wealth by 2025, and the trends there are not really that different from America’s.

Sources:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/investing/2931301/Why-were-asking-more-women-for-financial-advice.html

5. Men are WAY More Likely to Die on the Job Site

danger

So, with a comparatively declining amount of education and a lessening amount of money, what else is going wrong for men in the workplace in relation to women? It might not be the most surprising thing in the world, but consider that in 2005, for example, around 5,328 men in America were killed on the job site as opposed to 406 women.

Sources:

http://health.usnews.com/health-news/blogs/on-men/2008/06/13/7-reasons-men-die-first

4. More Adopted Females Than Males

adoption

So, suppose the male baby survives infancy but is left an orphan for reasons beyond his control (unless he’s the Antichrist.) Turns out girls will still have the advantage on him. Females make up 64% of all adopted children in the U.S. of international babies and are adopted more than 12% more internal adoptions. Given that the adoption process is so difficult and time consuming that it’s very, very likely only a very stable and relatively well-to-do, this means girls are also being introduced into the families with money and status.

Sources:

http://www.slate.com/id/2093899/

3. Cow Hormones In the Water

cow

Let’s take a break from all of these serious, rational reasons and just go silly for this one:

The influence of the female is indeed subtle and treacherous. They are not content to merely take control of our economy, but they want us to be more like them! One of the most insidious ways is a very subtle, very clever little number: the amount of female hormones in our water supply is increasing hugely, increasing the number of men who need breast reduction and suffering from other inadequacies of masculinity. This is accomplished by inducing cows that have had massive injections of hormones to urinate. Animal urine not being as properly processed as human urine, this has tainted out ground water supply to say nothing of dairy and meat products. Unfortunately, us men are going to be too dumb and poor to do anything about it.

Sources:

http://women.webmd.com/news/20101209/birth-control-pills-not-a-major-source-of-estrogen-in-water-supply

2. Sexism Was Just Making Them Stronger

mad men

Coming from a past of Mad Men-like gender inequality, psychologists, business teachers and consultants are positing that a woman in the work place tends to make for a better leader due to the increasing adversity strengthening drive and character. Which is great, because it gives us the excuse of “it was for your own good!”

Sources:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201003/why-women-make-better-leaders-men
http://pewresearch.org/pubs/932/men-or-women-whos-the-better-leader

1. The Y-Chromosome Is Deteriorating

y chromosome

Now THIS is a bit more distant as far as the future goes, but still, the precursor effects seem to be visible now. The Y-chromosome is susceptible to mutation, degradation, and has been losing genes since its emergence, much faster than the X.  How fast is that? Well, the theory is that in all species across the entire world, the Y-chromosome will be gone within five million years. So those of you hoping for a great x5,000 grandson should probably give up on that. We know: it can be hard to let go. And yes, we are imagining the United States of America will still be around in five million years.

Females Rule – Males…..are Mere Men

Brotherly Love

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“Have you ever had “feelings” for a relative, perhaps a cousin from your father’s side? Love can sneak up on you and reside in a place where there is no handbook.”

— Gwendolyn Hoff, The Life And Times Of A Black Southern Doctor

Bauvard

“I heard a sermon admonishing people to practice more brotherly love, so I did. I’m still in jail. If I could only give young siblings today one piece of advice, it would be: ‘Don’t turn loyalty into a culturally universal taboo. Just give lip service.”

― BauvardEvergreens Are Prudish

Brotherly Love

3 Corner Love

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Vera Nazarian

“Love is made up of three unconditional properties in equal measure:

1. Acceptance
2. Understanding
3. Appreciation

Remove any one of the three and the triangle falls apart.

Which, by the way, is something highly inadvisable. Think about it — do you really want to live in a world of only two dimensions?

So, for the love of a triangle, please keep love whole.”
― Vera NazarianThe Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration

Ally Carter

“Don’t let two men fall in love with you, girls. It’s not the sort of thing that ends well.”
-Uncle Charles”

― Ally CarterUncommon Criminals

Gabrielle Zevin

“As many have discovered, it is entirely possible (although not particularly desirable) to love two people with all your heart. It is entirely possible to long for two lives, to feel that one life can’t come close to containing it all.”
― Gabrielle ZevinElsewhere
Aprilynne Pike

“I just don’t want to cozy up to the guy whose girl I have every intention of stealing.”
― Aprilynne Pike

John Green

“I didn’t know what to say to her – I was caught in a love triangle with one dead side.”
― John Green

3 Corner Love

Love triangles

Fashion

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Jane Austen

“It would be mortifying to the feelings of many ladies, could they be made to understand how little the heart of a man is affected by what is costly or new in their attire… Woman is fine for her own satisfaction alone. No man will admire her the more, no woman will like her the better for it. Neatness and fashion are enough for the former, and a something of shabbiness or impropriety will be most endearing to the latter.”

― Jane AustenNorthanger Abbey

Oscar Wilde

“You can never be overdressed or overeducated.”
― Oscar Wilde
Coco Chanel

“A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.”

― Coco Chanel

Marilyn Monroe

“I don’t know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot!”
― Marilyn Monroe

Fashion