History Channel Side-Hustle – “Ancient Aliens”

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Way-out Theories

on “Ancient Aliens”

The TV show Ancient Aliens has now run for 14 seasons, and has gone over nearly every half-baked theory, pseudo-scientific rambling, dumb hypothesis or just plain crazy alternate scientific idea or “fact” that you could possibly tie into myth, legend, or aliens in some way or another. It has inspired countless memes about its crazy-haired host, but it has also spread an entire alternate set of untruths that questions a lot of legitimate science.

It is important sometimes to look at the height of such a show’s absurdity, to remind ourselves it is really nothing more than entertainment value at the end of the day, and doesn’t belong on something that calls itself the “History” channel. In today’s article, we will go over 10 of the craziest things talked about on Ancient Aliens

10. Nazi Germany Experimented With Advanced Alien Technology 

In “Nazi’s And The Third Reich,” which is one of the earlier episodes in the epic that is the Ancient Aliens series, they discuss the connection between Hitler, his Nazi regime, and ancient aliens, as well as possible more recent alien visitors. One of the more intriguing things they discuss is a little known event that many in most parts of the world, even those who are into aliens, may not be aware of. Apparently somewhere around the middle of the Nazi regime, the Nazis had a Roswell-like incident with an unidentified spacecraft that crash landed.

After this, the Nazis, according to Ancient Aliens, kickstarted their rocket program and even started working on anti-gravitational technology. They speculate that much of the technology the Germans were working on was passed on to the United States when the USA used Operation Paperclip to poach Nazi scientists before they could end up in jail. They also discuss Hitler’s search for biblical and other relics, and how those relics may actually be real, at least in part, and may actually be alien tech and not just biblical magic. In fact, Hitler believed that his superior technology would win him the war, and the Ancient Aliens people are convinced that this superior technology was at least partially based on alien technology.

9. Human-Animal Hybrid Mythological Creatures Were Alien Experiments 

In “Aliens And Monsters,” the crew explores the connection between the various mythological creatures that have captured our imaginations over the years, and alien beings. Particularly, they talk about creatures like the Chimera, the Kraken, the Cerberus, the Hydra and even the Loch Ness Monster. They suggest that these beings did indeed exist, and that all the various mythological stories must have been talking about something real.

However, they suggest that these beings were not natural occurrences, but the results of advanced alien experimentation. They believe that many of the hybrid beings you see in old tales were the early experiments aliens were doing in regard to gene splicing human and animal DNA together. On top of that, they suggest that the ancient Hindu legend of the Garuda, an enormous flying creature that shook the earth when it landed, may have actually been a tale describing an alien spacecraft. Interestingly, in many of the early tales of the Garuda it is depicted as an entirely animal being, but in later lore it is often referred to as a hybrid that is part human. If the slightly later legends were the more accurate ones, the Garuda could also fit within the potential pantheon of creatures created by aliens doing gene splicing with human and animal DNA.

8. Aliens May Actually Be Future Human Time Travelers Visiting The Past 

In “ The Time Travelers,” the Ancient Aliens hosts decide that they need to mix things up, and suggest that maybe many of their own previous theories were too crazy… or maybe not crazy enough. The gang suggests that perhaps many of the UFOs we think we have seen, or alleged alien visitors we think we have encountered, are actually from the future, and aren’t aliens at all. Instead, the aliens are suggested to be visitors from the future that may even just be really advanced humans, who look extremely different from us (their ancient ancestors).

They bring up ancient Hopi legends about ant people who came up from the ground to help jumpstart human knowledge, and suggest these legends could translate to something similar to the name of the alleged Annunaki (aliens UFO theorists allege helped create early man). As far as this theory is concerned, ancient aliens who visited us may have been aliens from the future, but they could also have been humans from the far future, coming to influence man for the better. When it comes to more recent visitors, it is possible they are just coming to check out their past, and see how things are going. The episode also goes over all main theories about how one could travel through time, and mentions various mythological stories that could be interpreted as time travel tales.

7. Bigfoot May Have Been Connected To Past Alien Visitors 

In “Aliens And Bigfoot,” the folks at Ancient Aliens cover all of the possible crazy bases regarding what Bigfoot could possibly be. Of course, the one thing they don’t speculate that Bigfoot might have been is non-existent, because they are convinced he is real. The gang points out that Bigfoot legends of various sorts have existed across pretty much all cultures, and suggest that perhaps Bigfoot-type creatures have managed to stay hidden for the most part by hiding deep in caves. They claim that these creatures, when spotted, often have a sulfur smell that could come from an underground cavern. As for what Bigfoot is, the folks at Ancient Aliens have a few different theories.

They first point out that in some early folklore, there are hairy, primitive beings who live in the woods, and that in some stories, these are speculated to possibly just be humans who eschew society and don’t really shave much. However, they are also convinced there is more to the legend than just hairy humans, and suggest that remaining creatures could either be some type of aliens or perhaps the remains of an alien experiment. The Ancient Aliens people point to an ancient myth where the “gods,” which the show hosts suggest were aliens, created a hairy, man-like being called the “Enkidu” to be their slave and do manual labor for them. They speculate it is possible the Bigfoot-type creatures are remaining Enkidus that escaped any purges when the alien visitors left for their own planets so long ago.

6. The Ark Of The Covenant Could Be Tech From Ancient Aliens 

In “Aliens And The Lost Ark” the crew discusses their interesting ideas about the biblical artifact known as the Ark of the Covenant. Now, for those of you who aren’t too familiar with it, the Ark of the Covenant was a wooden and gold ornamental box carried by the Jews in the bible during their wanderings in the desert. (And let’s be honest: you’ve seen Raiders of the Lost Ark. You know what the Ark of the Covenant is.)

It was credited with helping them stay alive and communicating with God, and as it could only be used or approached or uncovered by specially ordained high priests, many people have come to great speculation about what it may or may not have been.

Now, it could have just been a biblical legend,  or perhaps a small piece of basic technology — that was lost to us at least until modern times — that helped them with a few small applications, but the Ancient Aliens people believe something crazy may have been going on. Many take the idea it could “speak to God” quite literally, in that they believe it was used to communicate with Alien beings who acted as gods to early man. The gang also speculate that it could have been used to create the miracle of the manna in the desert, may have been some kind of electrical capacitor, and even suggest that it may be hiding in a small, unassuming church in Ethiopia, where it is guarded by priests who die shortly after taking the assignment, because of the alleged power of the device.

5. Ancient Sources Allegedly Talked About The Large Hadron Collider 

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In “The God Particle” the gang discusses the discovery by CERN in 2012 of the elusive Higgs Boson. Now, the folks behind the Large Hadron Collider don’t actually want it to be called the “God Particle” but the show insists on it for the episode’s entire runtime. The Ancient Aliens gang first speculate on what damage the LHC might have done to Earth when it was used, and what other damage it might do if it were to be given more power (such as creating its own miniature black holes). After that, they first talk about the connection between physics and divinity, and then get into the weeds.

They claim that the Large Hadron Collider and its function and purpose were predicted by ancient sources. They claim that the Veda (which are the ancient Hindu scriptures) have not aged in thousands of years — which is provably untrue — and even suggest that it predicted the Large Hadron Collider. They then go on to the Mayans, whom they claim also predicted the Large Hadron Collider in their primitive artworks. As if all of this wasn’t crazy enough, they go back to the Indian theories near the end, and suggest that the Hindu god Shiva was actually an ancient alien. As for all those mythological stories about the universe ending in Hindu mythology, those can be attributed to the Large Hadron Collider being used to tear particles apart on a subatomic level.

4. Underwater Monsters May Come From Another Dimension Through Wormholes 

In “Creatures Of The Deep,” the gang go over the deep, mysterious depths of our oceans, and speculate on just what might be lurking beneath. With most of our ocean’s creatures unidentified, and millions of creatures (estimated) yet to be discovered, they wonder if many of the craziest creatures from mythology like the Kraken and the Kappa may actually be based in truth, and just be hiding deep beneath the sea.

They point out that not long ago, astronauts found plankton living in space on the outside of the space station, and this led the Ancient Astronaut Theorists to speculate that perhaps all kinds of strange ocean life could be living within our own oceans; perhaps even crazier things than our strangest legends speculate. Many of the strangest creatures in our oceans could even be alien creatures hiding out in the deep, and they believe some could even have come straight to our ocean from other worlds using wormholes, instead of even needing to bother with a spaceship at all. This would certainly make it hard to track them coming here, and would be a very hard theory to disprove. While some creatures like Nessie have been pretty handily disproved, as the area where she is expected to be is not very large and can be proven with sonar to not have a bunch of secret exits, creatures that are potentially lurking beneath the deep are a mystery that will always fascinate the human consciousness.

3. The Space Station Moon Theory (It May Not Actually Be Natural At All)

In “Space Station Moon,” the gang goes over all their craziest theories about what the moon really is… and boy, is it a doozy. Apparently, the moon is actually not at all a natural construct, and their “experts” are happy to explain to you why, as well as provide their novel idea on why the moon is almost completely hollow. At least they aren’t moon landing deniers, but they claim the astronauts were shaken upon returning, that they reported aliens through their medical radios, and that aliens even warned us to stay away from the moon.

So this brings up the real question: why were the aliens allegedly so worried about us landing on the moon? Well, the Ancient Astronaut Theorists claim that NASA is withholding the truth from the public to prevent a mass freakout, because the moon is actually an artificially made space station whose purpose is at least partially to monitor the human race. They even suggest that our military (even though they claim we didn’t go back to the moon), or possibly aliens have secret bases on the dark side of the moon. While the Space Station Moon theory is not novel to the Ancient Aliens series, they consider every possible crazy angle of it, and one of the hosts even suggests that the moon was built by time traveling Freemasons.

2. King Tut’s Curse Was Some Kind Of Technological Protection Used By Ancient Aliens

In “The Pharaoh’s Curse” the gang talk about the opening of King Tut’s Tomb in 1922. Now, the opening of the tomb sparked a fire in the imaginations of people around the entire globe. In fact, people got so into it that they were closely following Ancient Egyptian lore, and some rumor mongers claimed that the tomb had a great curse on it, and that it followed those who opened it and struck them down one by one. Seven people died, and the Ancient Aliens people are quick to point out that all of these people were involved in the opening of the tomb. However, they do fail to point out that the person who actually opened the tomb itself was never struck down, which kind of invalidates the whole curse.

Regardless, even though the curse can be traced back to the most dubious of sources, which comprise a mix of pseudo-scientist musings and old myths, the Ancient Aliens people spend most of an episode on it. They suggest the curse might be alien technology, meant to keep us from discovering the secrets of King Tut’s tomb, which may have even included the Ark of the Covenant. Of course, if it had been in the tomb we would have discovered it, so they have a handy explanation for that. According to the Ancient Astronaut Theorists on the show, the Knights Templar took it to America before we could open the tomb, and hid it on Oak Island (nicely tying Ancient Aliens and The Curse of Oak Island, which are both owned by the same production company, together). We would like to add that not only has the Curse of the Pharaoh been fully debunked over the years, but there is absolutely no evidence to even suggest the Knights Templar ever went to America, or were in possession of the alleged Ark of the Covenant.

1. The Earth Has Black Holes And This Is The Reason For The Bermuda Triangle 

In “The Earth’s Black Holes” the gang go over their belief that perhaps Earth could have its own miniature black holes that most of us know nothing about. They point to mythological stories about various points in Earth being holy, or being a place you could communicate with the gods, and suggest these were black holes. They also suggest that when Moses went up to Mount Sinai, he disappeared into a black hole and this explained his temporary disappearance. As to where he went, they suggest he traveled potentially to a completely different world, or perhaps another dimension.

Now, they also take a flight through the Bermuda Triangle in this episode to play up drama, and mistake turbulence for something strange happening before the pilot himself has to humiliate them by correcting them. They are already embarrassing themselves though, as the Bermuda Triangle has been debunked incredibly hard in recent years, and it has been proven there are no more disappearances or ship accidents there than anywhere else in the ocean.

After their romp through the Bermuda Triangle nets them nothing horrifying, they start talking about people who disappear, and some who show up months later not remembering what happened. They suggest these people disappeared through a “black hole” somewhere on earth, and then showed up later, possibly going through some kind of time distortion as well and not understanding how much time had passed. However, the biggest problem with this entire episode is that most of what they are talking about would be better described by perhaps a stargate or a wormhole. While we don’t completely understand black holes, what we do know suggests that even if they could take you to another universe, you could be completely crushed before you could get there.


History Channel Side-Hustle

“Ancient Aliens”

The NULL Solution = Episode 190

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The NULL Solution = Episode 190

…Leave it to Župzïð to make the most of a bad situation….

Bad situation! by ptmutant on deviant art.com

Once the human heart is set on something, especially a McKinney beat-repeater, there is nothing you can do deter it. Returning to Earth has been irretrievably etched in the four 100% human souls, the 50% soul of a boy born to both worlds and the sole 100% Eridanian soul being used as a pawn in a selfish game.

Cartoon by Mickey Bach

The best of intentions oftentimes go astray. So it is with the alternate dimension that Lorgan created and Collapsar Axis was banished to. Merely being moved to a new space with likeminded miscreants was not such a good idea and had unintended consequences. The self-contained Ÿ€Ð outpost has gone on to dominate that chunk of space and time, dominating being a bad thing.

Leave it to Župzïð to make the most of a bad situation. You could call him the worst of the worse. What was meant to be a purgatorial realm for those not buying into the Harmonia formulae has turned into a romping free-for-all, one without proper supervision. Yes there is nowhere to go, but it is getting there fast.

Lorgan’s hand is being truly forced for the very first time. It is one thing to encourage cooperation among the reasonable, but quite a can of worms is now unleashed. Caged marauders are still marauders. Apparently hell cannot extend deep enough.

“There is a portal on the perimeter Supreme Leader,” alerts a Collapsar commander. “I can see the beacon from here.” A sight for sore eyes?

“Where does it lead?” wonders Župzïð. “Do not waste your time finding out. I tire of this place.”

“Did you answer the riddle Supreme Leader?”

I am the how & why that blocks your way

Prove your worthiness and the light will show the way back


The NULL Solution =

Episode 190


page 184 (end Ch. 20)

The NULL Solution = Episode 30

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The NULL Solution = Episode 30

…“I seem to remember your mom & dad telling me about a shiny moon ⃝    that they spotted right after leaving Space Colony 1

“Wow that tops your last tale by a bunch!” Prez Roy wraps his brain around this newest tall tale from the prodigious storytelling talents of his remaining star astronaut.

“The Sun trumps Pluto every time,” Gus would know.

It is not just about Deke, Celeste and their cryptic warning.  It is that vanishing sphere that merits close attention.

Roy suddenly has a flashback moment, “I seem to remember your mom & dad telling me about a shiny moon ⃝    that they spotted right after leaving Space Colony 1. The excitement of their landing Tycho threw us off that trail… soon after that the colony was destroyed. The rest is history. Let’s see if we can make a connection.”

Image result for wormhole gif“You’ll see what I mean about that jazzy dealeo. It should be all over my visual array, hell, for over a minute… then poof it’s gone into a wormhole!”

“You do know that there are no recorded wormies this close to the Sun. Out past Uranus, yes, we have detected some crazy stuff.” What mankind knows about deep-space pales in comparison to what they do not. “We’ll be looking for volunteers to go through a worm in the future Gus, how about it?”

“That is a one-way road this boy won’t be going down!”

With SOL technology in hand, going around them is the prudent choice.–

–So… it is off to merge Stellar Explorer’s video with the lander Tycho’s Colony’s last moments in the Mission Visual sector of the mainframe, for that closer look at the largest alien made object in the greater Earth/Mars neighborhood; what it is, who may have made it and what its purpose is {or was} or is still.

Roy Crippen’s experienced eyes have never seen such a thing. From bogies in his flying days, to too many episodes of Star Trek, the object he is zooming in on is as out-of-place in the solar system as any single item. Judging from the greatest magnification, it is flawless in sheen.

“Look at that,” Gus points, “you can see the reflection of SEx!”


The NULL Solution =

Episode 30


page 34

Space Traveler’s Guide to the Universe

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Space Travel-001

Methods of Space Travel

We Might See One Day

Traveling to far away planets has been a dream of humanity and a staple of science fiction for over a century. In reality, there are many problems holding us back from these quests, including a lack of adequate technology. But that hasn’t stopped scientists from theorizing how advanced space travel could one day be possible.

10. Ion Thrusters

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Ion thrusters shouldn’t be a new concept to Star Wars diehards, because they power TIE Fighters. They’re a real thing that was used on NASA’s Dawn probe that was launched in September 1997 to study the dwarf planets Vesta and Ceres.

Ion thrusters work when xenon atoms are hit with electrons, forming ions. At the back of the engine, there are metal grids charged to about 1,000 volts that shoot out ions at 90,000 miles per hour. The thrust is quite small, but since space is a frictionless environment with zero gravity it gradually builds up. The top speed of Dawn is 24,000 miles per hour.

Ion thrusters require minimal fuel. In fact, they’re 10 times more effective than chemical fuels. They gets their power from large solar panels, so there’s no need to build storage for fuel. That also gives them an inexhaustible source of energy. The current problem with ion thrusters is that they’re a bit too slow to transport humans. With that being said, they could be used to transport supplies to, say, a settlement on Mars.

9. Bussard Ramjet

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As alluded to above, one of the biggest problems facing space travel is the amount of fuel needed. One attempt to overcome this came from the 1960s and was called the Bussard Interstellar Ramjet. The idea is that the spacecraft would pick up protons in the universe while traveling. If these protons could then be fused together, the spacecraft could use nuclear rockets.

However, there are a number of problems with the Ramjet. Only a certain amount of protons could be picked up, and a lot of drag would be generated when the vessel would collect protons. Also, there’s the little matter of getting a stable nuclear fusion device functioning.

8. Nuclear Pulse Propulsion

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The idea of using nuclear power to launch spaceships dates back to the 1950s. Project Orion was an endeavor by NASA that entailed a ship the size of the Empire State Buildingbeing launched by exploding a nuclear bomb under it. You can probably guess some of the problems with this. For starters, this method would leave a tremendous amount of radiation behind and give the astronauts radiation poisoning. When the bomb went off, it would create an electromagnetic pulse that would wipe out all the on-board electronics. That’s if the launch was successful and didn’t result in a deadly accident. Despite all of this, Project Orion was actually considered because it could travel to Mars and back in three months, while it would take a spacecraft using normal propulsion 18 months to do the same trip.

Orion was abandoned, but ideas from the project lived on. Voyager 1, Voyager 2 and theCassini spacecraft use a form of nuclear power that takes decaying plutonium and converts it to electricity.

7. Laser Beamed-power Propulsion

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Aerospace engineer and awesomely named Leik Myrabo got the idea of using laser beamed-power propulsion in 1988 when he was working on the Star Wars missile defense project. Myrabo’s craft would be conical. A powerful laser beam would be fired into the narrow end of the cone, which would contain a parabolic reflector. This would heat the air inside to about 30,000 degrees, which would cause explosions that would create thrust. Myrabo believes that he could have a spacecraft ready in 20 years, but his peers are skeptical as to whether laser technology will be adequate.

6. Daedalus Interstellar Spacecraft

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The British Interplanetary Society conducted a five year study beginning in 1973 to see if it was possible for humans to travel to Barnard’s Star, which is about six light years away. Their solution was the Daedalus Interstellar Spacecraft. The Daedalus was a huge spacecraft, also nearly the size of the Empire State Building, and would need to beconstructed in the Earth’s orbit.

Similar to Project Orion, it would use fusion engines. Pellets of fuel would be injected at high velocity into a reaction chamber, where high-energy electron beams would ignite them. The first stage would launch from Earth with 46,000 tons of fuel, and then once in space it would launch a smaller part of the ship that would carry 4,000 tons of fuel. The fuel needed was Helium-3. Helium-3 is incredibly rare on Earth, but it’s believed there’s quite a bit on the moon, and there are also clouds of it in space. Collecting enough could take 20 years. Helium-3 is also the most difficult fusion fuel to ignite because of the incredible amount of heat needed. However, if it worked, the spacecraft would eventually travel at 12.2 percent of the speed of light, meaning it would get to Barnard’s Star in 50 years.

In 2009, an update called Project Icarus began its five year study to see how interstellar travel might now be done after years of scientific advancement. Hopefully they’re putting more thought into the science than the name.

5. Asteroid Hopping

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One of the big problems with traveling in space is exposure to cosmic rays. If a person were to do a 1,000 day round trip to Mars, they would be exposed to so much radiation that it would increase their chances of getting cancer from one to 19 percent. Spacecraft are made of light material, and radiation shields are too heavy. That’s why a professor of physics at MIT believes the best way to travel would be to land on an asteroid and then tunnel below its surface.

The asteroid would need to be 33 feet wide and pass within a couple million miles of both Earth and Mars for the plan to work. There are five known asteroids that would be excellent candidates that will pass by Earth before 2100. The trip would only be one way, because there isn’t an asteroid that would make a round trip feasible. However, new discoveries are being made all the time, so it’s possible there’s an asteroid that will head back towards Earth that we haven’t discovered yet.

4. Solar Sail

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While sails are low-tech by today’s standards, they’re getting a modern update in space travel. Instead of using wind, these sails would use the power of the sun. Solar sails would only give a spacecraft a small push, but since there’s no friction in space the sails would continually build up speed. For example, a solar sail that’s 1,300 feet wide could travel 1.3 billion miles per year. That’s faster than a vessel using chemical propulsion. That would also be relatively cheap compared to fuel use.

There are currently a number of projects using solar sails. One comes from NASA and is called the Sunjammer, after a short story by Arthur C. Clarke. The Sunjammer sail would be made out of a material called Kapton and be just five microns (about 0.0002 inches) thick, weigh less than 70 pounds and be about the size of a dishwasher when packed up.

It’s suggested that, while it make take a few centuries to develop, a solar sail could be used to carry a spacecraft into another solar system. This sail would need to be the size of Texas, and a strong laser would need to shine on it as it got further away from the sun.

3. Magnetic Sail

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The sun releases mostly protons and electrons at speeds that range from 248 to 370 miles per millisecond. A magnetic sail would use this energy and push against it. A loop of conducting material would produce a magnetic field that’s perpendicular to the solar wind, and this would push the craft to the desired location. The problem is that in order to do this, the sail would need to be 62 miles long. The technology to make the superconducting material for a sail of that size, and keep it at the right temperature, just isn’t available right now. Magnetic sails are just a theory until better technology is developed.

2. Wormhole

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A staple of science fiction, wormholes have fascinated people ever since they were first theorized in 1921. While they’re believed to exist, there’s no visible evidence. Wormholes are essentially tunnels in space, which objects could theoretically travel through. But wormholes are unstable — if someone were to travel through them, the walls would probably collapse. In order to safely travel through, the craft would to use an anti-gravitational force. Physicists say we most likely wouldn’t be able to collect enough energy. If there was a wormhole humans could travel through, it wouldn’t naturally occur; it would have to be constructed by an advanced civilization. So until we either get to that point or someone constructs a wormhole for us, it will remain in the realm of science fiction.

1. Warp Drive

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Made popular by Star Trek, a warp drive allows for faster than light travel. It’s often thought to be impossible because of the incredible amount of energy needed to run a drive. However, researchers believe that they’ve found a way. The first idea was to use a design by physicist Miguel Alcubierre, who proposed a spacecraft shaped like an American Football with a flat circular ring around it. But in order to power that design, you would need a ball of antimatter the size of Jupiter.

To make the spacecraft more feasible, NASA’s Dr. Harold White tweaked the design. In theory, the modified ship would require much less antimatter, about 500 kilograms. The proposed spacecraft would warp space-time and reach speeds 10 times the speed of light. It would make trips to the closest star about four or five months long.

Unfortunately, antimatter is incredibly volatile. Just one third of a gram could release the same amount of energy that was released during the bombing of Hiroshima. The amount of antimatter that White’s design needs would be the equivalent of 1.5 million Hiroshimas, enough to destroy the Earth.

Space Traveler’s

Guide to the Universe