Pun Central Catalog – WIF Wit and Humor

Leave a comment

Just My Type

Pun Central Catalog

wif-wit-001

WIF Wit and Humor

Puns #1   Puns, Puns #1

Puns #2  Puns, Puns #2

Puns #3   Puns, Puns #3

Puns #4   “Did You Here the One….?”

Puns #5  I Heard Something Punny…

Puns #6   Punny Men

Puns #7   One Vote for Puns

Puns #8   Killer Puns

Puns #9   Illuminating Puns

Puns #10  Now Serving Tennis Puns

Puns #11  Covert Puns

Puns #12  Courting Legal Puns

Puns #13  Punny Money

Puns #14  Egotist Puns & Quotes

Puns #15  Post-Olympic Sporty Puns

Image result for rated r

Puns #16  Hopeful Spring Puns

Puns #17  Sunny Puns

Puns #18  Puns Driving Humor

Puns #19  Familial Puns

Puns #20  Homespun Puns

Puns #21  Every Problem May Be a Punny One

Puns #22 Laborious Puns

Puns #23  Puns W/a Melody Image result for pun

Puns #24 Puns For Your Holiday

Puns #25  Spelling Puns

Puns #26  Irish Puns & Quotes

Puns #27  Puns Imported From Italy

Puns #28 Summer Sunday Puns

Puns #29  New Year Puns & Quotes

Puns #30  Presidential Puns

Puns #31  Nuts For Puns

Puns #32  Halloween Puns & Facts

Puns #33   Partisan Puns


Pun Central Catalog

pun-catalog-001

 

WIF Wit and Humor

Halloween Facts and Puns #32 – WIF Holidays

1 Comment

Halloween Facts

– More than Candy and Goblins

Halloween-001

Halloween, or Hallowe’en (/ˌhæləˈwn, ˈn, ˌhɑːl/; a contraction of “All HallowsEvening“), also known as All halloweenAll Hallows’ Eve, or All Saints’ Eve, is a yearly celebration observed in a number of countries on 31 October, the eve of the Western Christian feast of All Hallows’ Day. It begins the three-day observance of Allhallowtide, the time in the liturgical year dedicated to remembering the dead, including saints (hallows),martyrs, and all the faithful departed believers.

According to many scholars, All Hallows’ Eve is a Christianized feast influenced by Celtic harvest festivals, with possible pagan roots, particularly the Gaelic festival Samhain. Other scholars maintain that it originated independently of Samhain and has solely Christian roots.

Typical contemporary festive Halloween activities include trick-or-treating (or the related “guising“), attending costume parties, decorating, carving pumpkins into jack-o’-lanterns, lighting bonfires, apple bobbing and divination games, playing pranks, visiting haunted attractions, telling scary stories and watching horror films. In many parts of the world, the Christian religious observances of All Hallows’ Eve, including attending church services and lighting candles on the graves of the dead, remain popular, although in other locations, these solemn customs are less pronounced in favor of a more commercial and secular celebration.Because many Western Christian denominations encourage, although most no longer require, abstinence from meat on All Hallows’ Eve, the tradition of eating certain vegetarian foods for this vigil day developed, including the consumption of apples, colcannon, cider, potato pancakes, and soul cakes.

Etymology

The word Halloween or Hallowe’en dates to about 1745 and is of Christian origin. The word “Halloween” means “hallowed evening” or “holy evening”. It comes from a Scottish term for All Hallows’ Eve (the evening before All Hallows’ Day). In Scots, the word “eve” is even, and this is contracted to e’en or een. Over time, (All) Hallow(s) E(v)en evolved into Halloween. Although the phrase “All Hallows'” is found in Old English (ealra hālgena mæssedæg, all saints mass-day), “All Hallows’ Eve” is itself not seen until 1556.


Image result for halloweenPuns for Intelligent People 001

My friend wants to dress like the Queen of Hearts for Halloween. I think I’ll follow suit.

The fastest, most efficient way to make Halloween costumes is mask production.Image result for halloween masks

 

Witches are good at spell-ing.

Image result for witches

Where do witches bake their cookies? In a coven.

 

A trickortreat route is a fright path.Image result for halloween candy

 

Those who eat candy with both hands are ambi-dextrose.

 

There was a fight in the candy store. Two suckers got licked.

 

A group of ballerinas were wearing their tutus. A couple of extra costumes arrived but they thought they might be tutu many.Image result for skeleton key

Image result for haunted

The tale of the haunted refrigerator was chilling.

 

 

I used my skeleton key to get into the haunted house.

 

Two brothers collaborated on haunted stories, but one was a ghost writer.

Image result for ghost writer

‘We’ve lost too much to the Indian princess at that card game,’ declared Capt. John Smith, ‘but don’t let poker haunt us.’

Image result for bad puns

Image result for bad punsImage result for bad puns

Image result for bad punsImage result for bad puns

Image result for bad punsImage result for bad puns


Halloween Facts

Holidays-001

– And Puns

Laborious Puns #22

Leave a comment

WIF Style-001Year 2016-001

 

“No man needs sympathy because he has to work, because he has a burden to carry. Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.”

Image result for teddy roosevelt bully

 

1.

Labor Day is a good time to stop and reflect on the august events the the preceding month.

Image result for bad

2. Bringing a baby into the world is labor of love.

Image result for labor of love

 

3.

He labored so hard that he worked his fingers to the bonus.

4. In some places there is a lot of Manuel labor for every Juan.

5. In the NFL there is some  Manuel labor.

Image result for e j manuel

 

6. They used to experiment on dogs called laboratory retrievers.

7. A woman union leader who was pregnant had labor pains and then a striking baby.

Image result for unions

8. At a company where they dig for gold a labor dispute is a miner problem where no one wants to get the shaft.

 

Laborious Puns

Image result for puns

#22

Thanksgiving Extravaganza – WIF Style

Leave a comment

Thanksgiving-001

Thanksgiving Extravaganza

In the United States

The First Thanksgiving at Plymouth By Jennie A. Brownscombe (1914)

In the United States, the modern Thanksgiving holiday tradition is commonly, but not universally, traced to a poorly documented 1621 celebration at Plymouth in present-dayMassachusetts. The 1621 Plymouth feast and thanksgiving was prompted by a good harvest.Pilgrims and Puritans who began emigrating from England in the 1620s and 1630s carried the tradition of Days of Fasting and Days of Thanksgiving with them to New England. Several days of Thanksgiving were held in early New England history that have been identified as the “First Thanksgiving”, including Pilgrim holidays in Plymouth in 1621 and 1623, and a Puritan holiday in Boston in 1631. According to historian Jeremy Bangs, director of the Leiden American Pilgrim Museum, the Pilgrims may have been influenced by watching the annual services of Thanksgiving for the relief of the siege of Leiden in 1574, while they were staying in Leiden.In later years, religious thanksgiving services were declared by civil leaders such as Governor Bradford, who planned a thanksgiving celebration and fast in 1623. The practice of holding an annual harvest festival did not become a regular affair in New England until the late 1660s.

Thanksgiving proclamations were made mostly by church leaders in New England up until 1682, and then by both state and church leaders until after the American Revolution. During the revolutionary period, political influences affected the issuance of Thanksgiving proclamations. Various proclamations were made by royal governors, John Hancock, General George Washington, and the Continental Congress each giving thanks to God for events favorable to their causes. As President of the United States, George Washington proclaimed the first nation-wide thanksgiving celebration in America marking November 26, 1789, “as a day of public thanksgiving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favours of Almighty God”.

In modern times the President of the United States, in addition to issuing a proclamation, will “pardon” a turkey, which spares the bird’s life and ensures that it will spend the duration of its life roaming freely on farmland.

“Thank you (ILY) Wikipedia!”


 

I am thankful for a God who loves us.

I am thankful I’m not a vegetarian.

My Granddaughter Norah is thankful that Mommy doesn’t humiliate her like this.

Thankful I did not have this nightmare.

I’m the one on the left (NOW I’m dreaming)

“You know you’re a Redneck when you order out KFC.”

“Where did I put that turkey?”

My Molly would pose for this

Yep!


Thanksgiving Extravaganza

– WIF Style

Alpha Omega M.D. – Episode #47

Leave a comment

Alpha Omega M.D. – Episode #47

…Jacob Haley would have been pleased with the bright flashes and the racket, but he cannot see a thing face down between the rails…

Alive-001

Jacob Haley would have been pleased with the bright flashes and the racket, signs of the slave revolution he had himself worked endlessly to create. But he cannot see a thing face down between the rails, thanking his glorious God for divine deliverance from decapitating disaster.Locomotive      

He lives! Sweet Mary, Mother of God. Jacob is alive!” the Bleakers cannot contain their cartwheeling joy.

Cheers and tears erupt together. Adversity makes for strong glue.

“What’s all the commotion?” asks the blacksmith, who has been toting Grandma Lettie for three miles now, unaware of the theatrical crossing of the Little River. “Did you beat the train?” What a loaded question that is. Almost, he is told.

Anti-slavery-001

Hugging and such stops with one more reason to rejoice,  Lettie Golden has made the crossing, alive no less. ‘But what of Jacques Francoise?’ they ask the smithy.

He heard the hounds out of Sumter and he is leading them a merry chase. Right now I believe he is headed downstream, maybe wetting a line for some trout he calls, “Big Bertha”.

“Oh and the refreshment lady at mile 3 probably made it to the house up the tracks before the dogs came out, says she’ll get the juicy story at the next meeting.”

Fort Sumter3-001

A recovering Jacob Haley assesses their status while he listens out of the other ear. It is another mile and a half to State Road 268 and does not want a lucky guess by Jefferson Smythwick interfering with this covert coup. Freedom seems assured. Secrecy must follow.

“Poor Mrs. Ferrell is waiting at mile five, wondering in God’s name what happening. For all she knows, we aren’t going to show, seeing we are nearly an hour behind schedule. She is eager and the doubt will eat her alive.”         Bleaker Brothers-001

“We will run ahead and give her the good news!” offer the ever energetic Bleakers, never more than a heartbeat apart.

“She will be thrilled with our triumphs!” Jacob guesses, forgetting that she had recruited husband John. His freight truck will transport the group and their family home will shelter the Campbell family until things settle down in Gadsden County.

“We’d better get going folks. An eastbound freight train is due near dawn and we need to finish up before light.”


Alpha Omega M.D.

Episode #47


page 43

Doc Campbell-001

Characters A.O.-001

You are here

Contents Alpha Omega

Alpha Omega M. D. – Episode #43

Leave a comment

Alpha Omega M. D. – Episode #43

…The Flying Bleakers, a Slavic family of acrobatic proportions, is manning the next post. Mile four – versatile performers…

Bleaker Brothers-001

Grandma Lettie’s feet fail to meet a pace that is increasing, slower to faster. 2500 ties into the task, the oldest of the 8 hearts begins to fail, unable to see the journey to the end. Fortunately, Jacques Francoise is stationed 500 feet ahead at the first mile marker. He is the lone member of the Society who remotely resembles a doctor – Mile one – one life at stake.

Mile 1-001

“Keep going, please and send Jacques back to me. I will wait for him and catch up. Amanda, you have to keep up the pace!” Jacob does not like the way things are going.

She is fearful for her mother’s life, yet she has to trust the planning and of this liberator.

The longer Jacob remains behind, the greater is his potential for peril. There is no way of knowing when or if the night guards will spot the Campbells’ empty blankets. Will the corn meal sacks work the way they had the day before?

“Remember how we practiced chilens. Steppin’ stones–left foot, right foot, keep yo eyes on the next log and stay close to yo daddy!”

Amanda senses the urgency.

Mile 1-001

Mile two – less eventful; with Jacob regaining his position in the pack as the rest reach station two. “Grandma Lettie is being cared for, go back and combine forces with Jacques,” Jacob tells the Midway village blacksmith, muscularly equipped to carry the 110 pound woman 10 miles if necessary.

Mile 1-001

Mile three – aid station, with orange slices and water to keep up their energy. The volunteer, a Negro seamstress, looks at the Campbell girls, imagining herself making wedding dresses for them, free to marry the men they truly love, not bred to the healthiest male to produce the strongest male children.

One minute well spent.

Mile 1-001

Waiting ahead is quite a pair. Circuses and carnivals are popping up all over the South, as they have in New York, Saint Louis, and Montreal having been born in Europe. Two of The Flying Bleakers, a Slavic family of acrobatic proportions, is manning the next post. Mile four – versatile performers. The oppression they had fled in the “olde country” is a whiter shade of prejudice than here in Florida, but just as, if not more dirty. The ethnic cleansing that they and their ancestors have survived or participated in for more than four centuries inspires them to lend their unique skills to help right the wronged.

Anti-slavery-001

 


 Alpha Omega M. D.

Part 4

Part 4

Episode #43


page 41

Doc Campbell-001

Characters A.O.-001

You are here

Contents Alpha Omega

CONSTANCE CARAWAY P.I. ~ Appendix A

Leave a comment

You can read from the archival links

APPENDIX A

WARNING!!!  Do not read this before you have read the body of Constance Caraway ~Forever Mastadon~. If you continue to read this “spoiler section”, you will have a greater insight into the aftermath.

As an author, specializing in my own brand of Historical Fiction, I would be the first to admit that I deal in fiction. The  characters (most, you guess which) are figments of my imagination and the ones that are not i.e. Billy Graham, Samuel Goldwyn Jr., Martin Kamen and of course Willard Libby are carrying out my version of what happened in 1951 Chicago.

I believe that when I say, “My method of using history as a backdrop is an incredibly accurate depiction of what is going on, in any year that I write about”, that it is not an immodest statement. Here in Forever Mastadon, as in THE LIFE AND TIMES OF A BLACK SOUTHERN DOCTOR, I encourage you to dig deeper and test what I put to page; call me out on anything questionable.

Here is an example: When I have the Chicago Police frequenting a donut shop (a blatant generalization), I refer to Dunkin’ Donuts as the name of their hangout. They are tending to Worth Moore after he was mugged in the Bronzeville. To make sure of the veracity of that reference, I use one of my greatest assets, WIKPEDIA to find out that Dunkin’ Donuts was incorporated in 1950. SO, I trust that I am correct on the ‘Windy City’ connection, though there may not have been one in that particular neighborhood.

The type of airplane Ace Bannion flies, the taxi that Eddie Dombroski uses or the streets of the day that he drives or the authenticity of the Danforth Lodge in the 1951 version of my hometown, Oconomowoc Wisconsin; other instances where research methodology is tested. If that twin-engine Beechcraft Caraway & Associates (Ace) buys, near the end of the book, does not exist in real time, I would not have mentioned it, some other airplane model would have been used.

The bottom line: you can trust that this author takes care of the past, while praying for the future, loving both for their place in time.

I must admit to a personal bias, one that has taken hold of my text, not knowing with what magnitude it would hijack it. I am a committed Christian who, when confronted with the issue of radiocarbon dating and its relevance to the issue of Creation versus Evolution, I decided to not only side with Creation, but tie it into the distinct possibility that “6 days and a rest” is closer to the truth.

If you happen to disagree, so be it. I have endeavored to make Forever Mastadon an interesting story none-the-less.

Constance Caraway is not finished solving cases, and as her author I have everything to say about that. Chances are good that future books will not turn into a religious laden, good and evil diatribe.
Episode catalog-001

CONSTANCE CARAWAY P.I.

~ Appendix A